


Safe

by anxiousravenclaw



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bad Loki, Charming Thor, Cheating, Conflicting Feelings, Confused Loki (Marvel), Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Grandmaster Feels, Hook-Up, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, Loki doesn't know what to do, Love Triangles, M/M, New love, Old Love, One Night Stands, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Past Sex Worker, Possessive Behavior, Secrets, Tags May Change, Thor (Marvel) Feels, Thor doesn't give up, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, bad Thor, but only because of the cheating thing, is that even a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-05-05 01:17:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14606016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousravenclaw/pseuds/anxiousravenclaw
Summary: Loki has been in a relationship with En Dwi Gast for a few years. Though there are feelings and Loki truly cares for him he's not really happy or in love but not willing to leave either. Then trouble comes, by the name of Thor, and leads Loki to do something he never wanted to. Feeling confused and conflicted Loki tries to keep En Dwi from finding out while he tries to keep Loki by his side and protect him from a threat Loki knows nothing about.(Note: I changed the summary to better fit where this story is going.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idea popped into my head and it settled in and refused to leave XD
> 
> Oh and just a heads up, the grandmaster is actually a decent guy in this fic, just how he came out. Also picture him as how Jeff Goldblum looks in the Jurassic World trailer cuz that's how I'm picturing him in my head as I write this. Silverfox material here.

Loki sighed as he waited in the lobby for En Dwi to get out of work and take him to dinner, despite Loki  _insisting_ that he didn't want to go anywhere and was more then happy to eat at home. But En Dwi had insisted and Loki had relented as he always did because he knew it made him happy and it was the least he could do. Even if the gossip of En Dwi being Loki's sugar daddy would spread even more. What no one seemed to understand was that Loki didn't  _want_ En Dwi to constantly spend money on him and treat him to expensive gifts and surprises. En Dwi was the one who constantly wanted to and Loki could never say no to him. Not really. He owed him too much.

It was another ten minutes before En Dwi Gast finally appeared in the lobby and as soon as he caught sight of Loki he headed straight for him, grasped his lovely and delicate looking face in his hands, and placed a sweet kiss on Loki's lips that he tried to returned just as enthusiastically. He assumed he must have succeeded since En didn't pull away and ask if everything was okay. Once En seemed to have had his fill of kissing Loki he pulled away and stroked one of his tan hands lovingly across Loki's jaw, his thumb caressing Loki's moist pink bottom lip.

"I'm sorry if I made you wait for me." En said and smiled down at Loki.

"It wasn't that long En, dear. Don't worry about it." Loki replied and stood up, letting his boyfriend wrap an arm around his waist and pull him close to him.

"You sure? I know how impatient you can be." En jokingly flicked Loki's pale nose and Loki flinched back and let out a forced chuckle and let himself lean into En for a minute before pulling back and said, "It's fine, really love. Now, why don't we go to dinner at that lovely restaurant you were so kind to make reservations for us." He then placed a chaste kiss to En Dwi's cheek that left the older man looking pleased and happy.

"Well, uh, it was actually Topaz that made the reservations for us, but yes let's go. You are going to love the restaurant, my dear Loki. The food is absolutely delicious and it's such a quaint looking thing." En said as he led Loki outside.

"Sounds wonderful." Loki replied and made sure to keep the smile on his face from falling.

**** 

En Dwi could tell that despite trying to seem as if he was truly enjoying himself, Loki still seemed a tad sad and melancholy and he was really starting to worry. Loki has been like these for the past couple of months and En had no idea how to handle this, how to help Loki. He was trying, but he wasn't sure what Loki wanted or needed and he wouldn't talk to him. He had hoped this dinner would help but Loki still seemed so far away.

"Do you want to dance with me, love?" En Dwi asked, leaning across the table towards Loki.

"What?" Loki snapped out of his stupor and looked up wide eyed at En and moving his hands across the table and onto his lap. He had been moving around his chocolate and raspberry souffle that En Dwi had ordered for him but hadn't felt particularly hungry to eat it.

"Do you want to dance with me?" His boyfriend asked again and gestured with his head to the small dance floor in the restaurant where two other couples were already dancing to the accompaniment of a violinist and pianist.

"Oh, I uh, I don't know...." Loki floundered helplessly and twisted his hands on his lap.

"Please?" En implored him and gave him a charming smile and Loki forced a strained smile on his face and gave the older man his hand and let himself be led to the small dance floor.

En Dwi pressed their bodies close together, but not too close, they were in public, and moved them around in circles and Loki let him lead them, let him twirl him around, and even let out delighted gasps whenever he was dipped. But En could tell that Loki was faking it, that he was not truly enjoying it but was pretending for his sake that he was and he tried not to let the hurt show in his eyes, Loki was good at reading faces. En Dwi stopped with the flashy dancing and simply brought the younger man close to him and moved them around slowly. He buried his nose in Loki's inky black hair and breathed in the enticing smell that was Loki, peppermint and freshly fallen snow. En Dwi drew Loki in a little tighter, he wished he knew how to keep Loki happy by his side.

****

After they had left the restaurant and climbed into the car, where they would be driven to En's condo, En Dwi moved closer to Loki and started mouthing and kissing Loki's pale and slender neck. Loki moved his head back to give the older man better access to his neck. Loki started to pant softly as En started to nip and suck at the flesh of his neck. Loki let his hands clutch at the silver hair as En started pressing kisses up his jaw until he was nipping at Loki's earlobe. Loki let out a genuine moan and let himself be pressed back into the car seat. 

"You know I love you, don't you Loki?" En whispered against Loki's ears before he went back to sucking Loki's neck.

"Yes," Loki gasped out, "I know, I know. I love you too, En." Loki pulled him closer so he was more on top of him, but En braced himself on his elbows and whispered against Loki's lips, "Not here, we're almost home." Loki pulled him in for a kiss.

Once they got home Loki was once again surprised by En Dwi Gast's strength as he carried Loki inside the condo, despite the fact that he was nearly fifty. It's not that Loki was heavy, but he was tall and yet En seemed to carry him effortlessly. He carried Loki all the way to their bedroom where he tenderly deposited Loki on the bed and climbed on top of him.

"Let me love you?' En Dwi said and Loki pulled him towards him again to kiss him deeply, parting his lips to allow En's tongue entrance to his mouth. Loki kept his arms around his neck as En moved his hands over Loki's lean body, admiring him through touch and causing Loki to moan, it was the only emotion Loki never faked around him. Eventually Loki started growing impatient and started tugging at En's designer sweater and made grunting noises so that he would take it off already. En Dwi chuckled but he humored Loki and removed his sweater and moved to unbuckle his belt so he could remove his pants. Loki stared at him as he did so, En still looked amazing. He may no longer have the muscled body he had in his youth, but he was still fit and firm in all the right places and Loki couldn't help but admire him. En was gorgeous. And he was in his boxer briefs.

Loki stared at the bulge between his legs before En was on him, helping him out of his shirt and removing his pants, dragging his own boxer briefs along with them until Loki was lying completely naked underneath him. Loki started to breath heavily as En started mouthing at his neck again, trailing kisses across his neck and down to his chest. Loki let out a high pitched moan as En enveloped one of Loki's rosy nipples into his mouth while twisting the other one with his fingers and trailing a hand down Loki's side. Loki squirmed underneath him, his breathing becoming quicker and harsher as En Dwi lavished his body with attention. He always made sure Loki was properly aroused before going further, but Loki was already hard and he was growing impatient.

"En... please." Loki begged and En moved his mouth from Loki's now reddened and sensitive nipple to Loki's mouth where he kissed him deeply as he moved his hand toward where they kept the lube and condoms. He squirted some lube onto his fingers as he kept kissing a squirming Loki and pressed a slick finger inside Loki's hole. Loki gasped into En's mouth and then whined and squirmed against the finger in him. 

"Patience, love." En Dwi whispered as he shoved another finger inside and Loki moved his hips to try and feel some friction against those fingers. Soon there was a third finger and Loki moaned deeper and wrapped his arms around En Dwi's shoulders and pleaded with him to hurry. Once En felt satisfied that he had stretched Loki enough he pulled out his fingers, slipped the condom on, applied some lube to his length, and poised the tip against Loki's hole before thrusting in. Both men groaned as they adjusted to the feeling of one another, panting. But soon Loki was pulling on En to start moving and he did, gently, lovingly. It was not enough for Loki. He wanted him to go faster, rougher. But he never did. Loki still loved the feeling of En Dwi moving inside him, but he always desired more. After a couple more thrusts En had already came and he pulled out and wrapped his hand around Loki's length, jerking off until Loki came with a sharp cry. 

Once they had both cleaned up some they were lying on the bed, under the covers, and En Dwi had an arm thrown over Loki's waist and pulled him closer so Loki's back was flushed against his chest and he dozed off feeling content. Loki stayed awake a little longer, he didn't move, he just thought. Eventually, he fell asleep.

****

The next day En Dwi was stuck in meetings all day so Loki had the whole day to occupy himself. There wasn't much to do though. He had thought about getting himself a job to occupy all the free time he seemed to have... but he had no experience working at a  _regular_ job. He supposed it wouldn't really be a problem, En Dwi owned most of the businesses in town from small shops, cafes, restaurants, bars, clubs, and even a mall. Loki was sure any of those places would gladly hire the inexperienced, young, boyfriend of their boss and owner. And that's exactly why Loki didn't try, it made him uncomfortable. The idea of knowing that he  _only_ got the job because his boyfriend was En Dwi Gast. He had to do  _something_ though.

Loki was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't even notice the tall, muscular, blonde sitting at the other table of his favorite coffee shop with a group of friends, staring at him with interest.


	2. Chapter 2

Thor must have been quite obvious with his staring since Volstagg decided he needed to wave his big hand under Thor's nose. 

"What?" Thor said a little miffed and embarrassed. 

"You're staring and it's a  _very_ bad idea. You need to stay away from him and not get any funny ideas in your head Thor." Volstagg said sternly and Thor just glared at him. What was he talking about? 

"Who is Thor staring at?" Fandral asked and stared at the direction Thor had been looking at while Thor seriously regretted taking his lunchbreak with these two. Fandral had finally saw what, or who, Thor had been staring at and Thor watched as his eyebrows rose and his jaw dropped before he muttered, "Oh..."

" _What_?" Thor said annoyed but slightly curious as well.

"I agree with Volstagg here," Fandral abruptly said and ignored the shocked look on Thor's face, "you do not want to get involved with him."

"Why? What are you guys talking about? Who is he?" Thor asked.

"You seriously don't know?" Fandral asked and both he and Volstagg gave Thor dubious stares.

"I wouldn't be asking if I did?" Thor pointed out and they had to give him that.

"That's Loki Laufeyson." Volstagg answered and took a bite of the roast beef sandwich they sold at this coffee shop.

"Who?"

Both Fandral and Volstagg glared at him again, annoying Thor once again. "Are you serious?" Fandral asked. Thor kicked him under the table and Fandral jumped and scowled at Thor while he rubbed his shin. "How do you  _not_ know who he is?" Fandral grumbled.

"I don't gossip." Thor said.

"Neither do I, I just make a point of knowing who's free and who's taken." Fandral said with an air of dignity and took a sip of his latte.

"So he's taken?" Thor asked and both Fandral and Volstagg nodded. "And why should that matter?" Thor asked again.

"Have you no decency or respect for relationships?" Fandral sputtered and Thor scoffed.

"This coming from you? You'll hook up with  _anyone_. Whether they're married, dating, divorcing, or single. It's never mattered to  _you_." Thor pointed out with a gleeful smile.

"Yes but trying to hook up with Loki Laufeyson, even once, will be a terribly stupid idea." Fandral insisted.

 "Again, why?" Thor asked exasperated, he could swear they were doing this on purpose.

"Because his boyfriend is En Dwi Gast." Volstagg answered around the straw in his mouth.

Thor blinked at that and stared back at this Loki Laufeyson before turning back to his friends and saying, "Seriously? But he's so much younger and hot." Actually this Loki was more then hot, he was the most stunningly beautiful person Thor has ever laid eyes on. He looked so calm and full of grace just sitting there, looking at some book, was it full of crossword puzzles or something?, with a cup of what must be coffee and a slice of cake in front of him. He had a lovely and delicate looking face with high cheekbones, thin delicate and soft looking pink lips, and the greenest eyes he ever saw, he could see them from where he was sitting! He was wearing a pair of glasses with thin frames and Thor couldn't tell if they were prescription or just for style but they looked good on him and complimented his face well. He had shoulder length black hair that was half tied into a bun on top of his head while the rest of it fell in loose curls around his shoulders. He was wearing one of those big hipster looking grey sweaters and underneath a white button down shirt with the top two buttons unbuttoned, black skinny jeans, and either black or dark brown boots. And Thor wasn't sure but he thought maybe his nails were painted black. In short: this Loki Laufeyson was breathtakingly stunning and  _he_ was dating En Dwi Gast?

Thor didn't know much about En Dwi Gast, just that he was a big and successful businessman tycoon who owned the majority of the town's businesses, including the club where Thor bartended. It  _was_ rumored that En Dwi Gast mainly dated (legally) younger people, both men and women, and that he loved nothing more then to spoil them. Those relationships never lasted long but it was also rumored that En Dwi Gast didn't care, he'd get bored of the same pretty face and was always on the lookout for a newer, prettier face. This Loki clearly fit  _that_ bill, he also seemed like he might be one of the prettiest and youngest ones. But he also didn't look like the type who'd get himself a sugar daddy so then...

"Why is  _he_ dating En Dwi Gast?" Thor wondered out loud.

"You do realize we don't know either of them right?" Volstagg asked as he tried to wipe his red beard clean of any crumbs.

"Look, that doesn't matter, okay? He's dating En Dwi Gast, and if you try  _anything_ with him you'll find yourself in trouble." Fandral warned.

"What," Thor scoffed, "you think he'll come after me? The guy's nearly fifty, I can take him."

"He could also get you fired and keep you from finding a new job, he's practically everyone's boss around here." Volstagg said mildly.

"That, and Loki, I heard, can handle himself just fine. He's got a sharp tongue on him, is stronger then how he looks from what I've heard, and unlike Gast's other pets, he's loyal. You may not get a beating from him but you'll most certainly get one he'll of a verbal lashing." Fandral said and Thor found himself even more intrigued. Surely it be okay to at least  _talk_ to him.

Thor went back to stare at Loki and saw that he was getting up and it looked like he was heading outside, now was his chance! Thor moved to get up but two pairs of hands grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to stay down.

"Get off!" Thor hissed as he tried to throw off both Fandral and Hogun.

"This is for your own good Thor." Volstagg replied and Thor could do nothing as he watched Loki walk out and head up the sidewalk to who knows where.

****

Loki had heard some sort of loud commotion behind him as he headed out of the coffee shop, but he ignored it. He had gotten a little bored doing the same old crossword puzzles in this book and felt the need to actually  _read_ one. He decided to head to one of the small bookshops En actually owned, he still couldn't figure out why. Loki didn't really have any money of his own and he  _hated_ using what money En would give him, it made him feel dirty. He also knew that if he asked the people who worked at that bookshop would either sell him books at a ridiculous discount or even just give it to him. He wouldn't accept either option. But he found one he could live with. They would let Loki  _borrow_ whatever book he wanted to read at the time. They'd only allow him one at a time and after Loki was welcomed to return the book and borrow another. It was the only perk of dating En Dwi Gast that Loki was happy with.

He stepped into the bookshop and was immediately greeted with warm smiles and kind offers to help him with whatever he needed. Loki thanked them and disappeared behind a bookshelf. He could live with borrowing but it still made his cheeks feel hot to know that he only got this kind of special treatment because of who he was dating. It was ridiculous but En Dwi insisted and it seemed to be some unspoken rule that every place he owned had to follow, where they  _had_ to give him special treatment and special privileges. It made him feel gross but he's felt even grosser in the past. This wasn't so bad compared to  _that._

****

Loki had headed straight home, with a book by Joanne M. Harris he had chosen to read, and found En Dwi sitting on the couch, a glass of wine in one hand and a pen in another. He brought work home. 

"Hey love, how was your day?" Loki asked as he went to sit beside him and took a peek at the papers. 

"Loki, I was wondering where you were." En said and handed Loki his glass to drink from which Loki did. 

"I went to that bookstore and borrowed another book." Loki held up the book and looked at En closely, he seemed tired. 

"Ah, well, we are in the process of, uh, trying to buy some new property. Not sure what I plan to do with it once I get it but it'll be fun."

"Is that what the meeting was about?" Loki asked as he took off his sweater and boots while En Dwi watched. 

"No," En responded with a smile and took off the glasses he only needed when reading and rubbing his eyes tiredly, "a few places are behind on their lease and some have to renew. We were looking over that as well at how well they've been doing, money wise. It's been dull and tiring but necessary."

"Do you need help to relax?" Loki asked, not really sure whether he was in the mood for anything or not, but he still placed his hand suggestively on En's shoulder, who patted it fondly and rested his hand there.

"No Loki, dear. I'm just going I bed early. Enjoy your book." He got up, finished the rest of his wine, places the papers away, and kissed Loki softly on his lips. "Goodnight love."

Loki watched him leave and felt.... nothing really. No relief or disappointment or longing. Just nothing. He thought about maybe going to bed with En, but decided against it. Instead he got his own glass of wine and read the new book he borrowed.


	3. Chapter 3

When the weekend came En Dwi decided to take Loki out. Loki didn't really have any idea where he wanted to go, didn't even really seem like he wanted to go anywhere. He didn't really want to stay in either. In the end he simply told En Dwi to take him wherever he wanted to and they were in the car being driven to one of the clubs he owned. It wasn't really surprising, En loved going to clubs and parties and watching people have fun. He would usually drink and joke and make conversation, sometimes even dance. En Dwi enjoyed being the life of the party while Loki hated all of it. He hated crowds and he  _hated_ clubs. It reminded him too much of certain aspects of his past he would rather forget. But En loved them and he loved taking Loki to them so Loki would suck it up and hide in the corner, or bar, with a drink continuously in his hand. Until En Dwi found him.

Tonight En Dwi had taken Loki to one of his favorite clubs, The Ark, that he also happened to own. It was one of the most popular and crowded clubs and the line to get in was incredibly long. But En had an entire booth reserved just for him and Loki and they simply had to stroll in. Immediately En was bombarded by people wanting to talk to him and he indulged them all, wearing a pleasant smile while Loki was mostly ignored, not that he minded. All these people simply saw him as arm candy, he knew En Dwi didn't think of him like that so he didn't care. But he  _did_ want to get a drink. He's been here several times with En before so he already knew where it was and since he was Loki (a.k.a. En Dwi Gast's boyfriend) they would serve him immediately. Loki leaned close to En's ear and told him he was going to the bathroom.

"Hurry back, will you." En told him, patting his cheek tenderly.

"Of course, love." Loki responded with a sly smile and kissed En on the cheek before rushing off towards the bar.

****

Thor has been sulking the majority of this week since he had laid eyes on that gorgeous, green eyed, siren that was Loki Laufeyson in that coffee shop. He was upset that he didn't even get to  _talk_ to him and he was irritated with Fandral and Volstagg for keeping him from  _speaking_ with him for 'his own good', as they said. But now he couldn't  _stop_ thinking about him, and he knew nothing about him! That was what was so frustrating. He didn't even know anything about this Loki, besides the fact that he was currently dating En Dwi Gast and that was about it. And it bugged him. And it bugged him that it bugged him.

But Thor didn't have time to dwell on thoughts of the unknown Loki, he was at work bar tending at one of the most popular clubs in town and it was Saturday, the busiest day of the week for them and it was just him and Hogun behind the bar, at least until the new girl came in another hour. Thor was mixing up and serving drinks at top speed while also making friendly conversation to get himself some good tips. He was so busy mixing up a drink that he nearly missed the lithe, pale, form and dark haired beauty sauntering towards the bar. Thor had tried finishing this drink as fast as possible so that he could be the one to get Loki his drink, but Hogun got to him first. Thor scowled darkly and didn't even care that he was frightening some people away as he heard Hogun ask for an ID.

"I'm twenty-three." He heard Loki protest.

"Still need to see some ID." Hogun insisted, he was strict when it came to the legal drinking age and wouldn't serve anyone until he saw proof that they were of legal age to drink. He saw Loki roll his eyes but he reached into his pocket and pulled out what must have been his ID and showed it to Hogun. It must have been real and he must really be twenty-three because Hogun served him that shot of whiskey. Loki downed it in one shot, grimacing a little but clearly enjoying the taste and sensation and motioned for another. Thor smiled as an idea came to him, Hogun  _hated_ serving the same drinks to the same people. Thor went over to him and said, "I'll take over, have fun with some more of the fun drinks." Hogun just handed him the bottle of whiskey and went to take more people's order.

"Hey. I'm Thor." Thor introduced himself with a friendly smile.

Loki studied him with those green eyes that seemed to glow under this light. He brought the shot glass to his slightly moist lips and pursed them a little before downing the shot and said, "Loki. Another shot."  Thor ignores the slight and haughty attitude and instead focuses on the silky and melodic voice that is Loki's and serves him another shot.

"So what brings you to The Ark tonight? Need to wind down?" Thor asks.

"My boyfriend," Loki responds tonelessly, "he likes coming here and he brings me along with him."

Thor clenches his jaw at the mention of "the boyfriend". Why was  _Loki_ with  _En Dwi Gast_. The guy was forty-nine while Loki was apparently twenty-three, far, far too young. He could see what Gast saw in him but what did Loki see in him? He had a gut feeling it wasn't the money, so then what? Then again it could just be hopeful thinking.

Thor was about to open his mouth in an attempt to keep talking with Loki when he spotted En Dwi Gast in the crowd, looking around, no doubt for Loki. Loki had his back to him and had lifted his glass for a refill, which Thor provided. It was then that En Dwi Gast spotted Loki and strolled over and Thor hated to admit it but he did look good for someone reaching fifty. He was dressed comfortably and yet still sophisticated. He was wearing a dark blazer over what looked a light grey thin cashmere sweater, dark pants, and some expensive looking shoes. It did not make him stand out, but he didn't blend in either though. Loki, on the other hand, was dressed like most guys in their early twenties in a dark green v-neck t-shirt, a black leather jacket, black jeans that were ripped on one knee, and black boots. Gast had his silver hair styled back in an elegant way while Loki had his slicked back and loose with his black curls falling around his shoulders and a few errant locks across his face. And when Gast placed a hand on Loki's shoulder, startling him a little, Thor saw that his fingers were adorned with colorful rings and his nails were painted a shimmery gold while Loki's were indeed black. Thor simply saw them as nothing but an odd couple, but he turned away and tried to look busy and  _not_ like he was eavesdropping.

"Loki, I've been looking for you darling. I thought you said you were going to the bathroom." En Dwi Gast in a slightly reprimanding tone while running his fingers through Loki's silky looking black hair.

"I did," Loki replied and Thor saw him leaning into the touch and placing his hand on the inside of Gast's elbow, "but I wanted a drink." He held up his still full shot of whiskey and Thor saw Gast frown.

"How much have you drank?" 

"Not enough." Loki responded and got to his feet, swaying a little as if to prove his point that he drank more then he probably should have. Shit, should Thor had maybe cut him off at some point?

As if he was reading Thor's thoughts, En Dwi Gast looked up at Thor with cold, hazel eyes and said, "I can see that you're new, but next time, don't serve Loki more then two shots, understood." Thor nodded as Loki protested, "En, no."

"Come on Loki, love, I'm taking you home." Gast said as he gripped Loki's elbow and lead him away and Thor had expected him to put up a fight of some kind. Instead he watched as Loki deflated and let himself be lead away. That didn't seem right, from what little he saw of Loki he was feisty. So why did he give in so fast like that? Thor kept thinking about that as he went back to work.

****

"Did some of those memories come back? Is that why you were drinking a little more then usual?" En asked softly as helped Loki sit on the bed. Loki simply moaned and lay back, his long legs dangling off the edge of the bed and an arm thrown over his eyes. En Dwi sighed as he removed Loki's boots and jeans so he could at least fall asleep a little comfortably.

"I'm sorry Loki. I know going to clubs can bring back those memories. I really wanted to go, and I wanted you with me, my sweet, but I should have thought better of it."

"Not your fault." Loki mumbled and En patted his bare knee softly.

"Sleep now." He said softly and Loki didn't need to be told twice before he rolled onto his side and curled up into a ball and soon he was snoring softly.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki woke up alone and with a pounding headache. He groaned and rolled over as he pulled the blankets over his head in attempt to block out the light. Eventually he did get out of bed to shower and take some aspirin for the headache, he wasn't hung over so that was a huge relief. He vaguely wondered where En Dwi was, he hardly ever worked on weekends but sometimes he'd go in on Sundays if they were busy. Maybe it had something to do with that piece of property he wanted to buy.

He was actually looking forward to spending the day here alone, maybe do some reading or go out for a little while. Loki had gone back to their room to grab a jacket when he noticed for the first time the note En had left him.

>   _Loki,_
> 
> _Sorry I won't be here when you wake, I was called into work but it's nothing serious so don't worry about it. I hope you don't wake up feeling too terrible, if you do just call me and I'll make sure you're taken care of. If you are feeling better, though, could you do the grocery shopping? We're running out of a few things and you know all the things I like. I promise to make it up to you when I get home. Kisses._
> 
> _Love, En Dwi_

Guess he was going grocery shopping now. Loki checked the kitchen to see what exactly it was that he needed to get and quickly wrote a list down before grabbing one of several car keys En had and headed to the garage. He climbed into which ever car it was that unlocked and drove off to En's favorite grocery store. Loki personally thought that it was a bit pretentious but it had a good selection of frozen desserts so it was worth it. But... he didn't want to head straight home after shopping and if he got anything frozen, which he was planning on, he would have to. Loki tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel and decided to do the shopping later, he wanted some time to himself. He texted En Dwi real quick to let him know that he would get the groceries later on and then drove in a different direction.

****

Thor took a big drink from his water bottle as soon as they finished their game. It was Sunday and every Sunday he, Fandral, Volstagg, Sif, and Hogun would meet up at the park, if they all had the day off, and play a game of whatever they felt at the time. Today they had been in the mood for flag football but they had to stop the game now, both Sif and Fandral had to leave soon to get ready for work. They had all worked up a good sweat and Thor was wiping the back of his neck with his towel he brought when he went to look out towards the small lake and felt his stomach drop underneath him. Loki was right there! Across the lake from Thor and he was feeding ducks.  _Ducks!_

Thor quickly checked to see whether Fandral or Volstagg had spotted Loki, if either of them did they would most likely try to keep Thor from going to him. They were both distracted, Sif was packing up her bag, and Hogun seemed uninterested in general. Thor smiled, gathered up his stuff, and headed over to "bump" into Loki before anyone could stop him.

**** 

Loki smiled gently as he threw some more of the duck pellets that he had gone to buy at the nearby pet store. He enjoyed feeding the ducks, he always had ever since En Dwi had first brought him here. It had been one of their most surprising dates since En Dwi never showed interest in parks or outdoor activities. But Loki had mentioned once how he had never gotten a chance to feed ducks, something he heard a lot of people do, and that he'd love the chance to do so. En Dwi had remembered him saying that and had surprised Loki with a picnic by a lake in the park where Loki was astounded by all the ducks just swimming on the lake. They had eaten and Loki had immediately started feeding the ducks. En Dwi was the one who had actually informed Loki that bread was harmful for ducks to eat. It was one of Loki's favorite dates and memories with him. 

Suddenly loud and fast footsteps sound behind Loki, scaring the ducks, and Loki turns to glare angrily at whoever scared the ducks away only to see a familiar tall, broad shouldered, heavily muscled, and golden haired someone running by. Loki stared after him, a little bit in a daze, and noticed something falling out of the bag slung around his, Thor's, shoulder.

"Hey!" Loki called out and went to pick it up, it was a wallet, and called out louder, "HEY!" Thor turned around, looking bemused, and Loki held up the fallen wallet. Thor stared at it and checked his bag real quick before jogging back towards Loki.

"Thanks, wouldn't have noticed I dropped it if it wasn't for you, uh, Loki right?" He said with the most huge but also playful, and poorly hidden motive, smile. Loki glares at him, studying him, and trying to figure out what he's after. He's had men and women trying to cozy up to him before in order to get to En Dwi, hoping to get some sort of good business deal or other by befriending Loki. He's also had men and women lusting after him and trying to "steal" him away from En Dwi. Either way Loki always saw through them and he could tell that this Thor was one of the ones lusting for him and he had no desire to deal with that.

"Well," Loki said a little too coldly and he could see the frown in Thor's eyes he was trying to keep hidden, "think nothing of it. Now, if you'll excuse me." Loki turned away from Thor and felt a strong arm wrap around his wrist, pulling him back.

"Wait." Thor said but faltered at the glare Loki threw at him over his shoulder.

"Why?" Loki yanked his wrist free and took a step away from Thor.

"So, uh, you were feeding the ducks?" Thor said and that too cheerful smile was plastered on his bearded face one again. Loki looked deeply unimpressed and he could practically  _see_ Thor breaking out into a nervous sweat.

"I  _was_ until someone's thundering steps scared them off, now I have to wait for them to approach me again."

"That shouldn't be too hard, you have food on you, right? What were you feeding them, the usual bread?"

"Bread is actually quite harmful to ducks. It causes obesity, malnutrition and it encourages ducks, especially ducklings, to beg for their food from humans instead of getting food for themselves. Duck pellets are a better choice. So is stuff like corn, lettuce, oats and other types of bird seeds." Loki said in a bored sounding voice and held up the bag of duck pellets for Thor to see.

"Oh, I didn't know that." Thor said as he stared at the bag blankly before gazing at Loki who just seemed terribly annoyed with him. This wasn't going as well as it had in his head.

"I'm not surprised." Loki huffed and once again turned away from him and Thor was smart enough not to try and grab Loki again as it would most likely send him into a rage and any chance Thor had would immediately be overrated. As he watched Loki crouching by the lake again and attempting to get a few ducks to come back to him Thor admitted to himself that Fandral and Volstagg were right about him having a sharp tongue.

****

Loki was on his way back to the condo with all the groceries loaded into the car and drumming his thumbs against the steering wheel along to the loud music he was playing in an attempt to block out certain thoughts from his head. It wasn't working. He was still being plagued by thoughts of Thor and he simply couldn't make sense of them. Why was he even thinking of him? Loki let out a frustrated snarl and forced any thoughts of him far from his mind. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. He was En Dwi's and he was fine with that.

Loki ignored the servant who had tried to insist on unloading the groceries for him and did it himself. They never put anything in the right place and he always ended up having to put them in the proper place himself anyways so he'd rather just do it all himself. He was just packing away the last of the groceries when he heard the front door open and close and heard En call out, "Anyone home?"

"In here." Loki called out and En Dwi appeared at the doorway of the kitchen and headed towards Loki, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind. Loki leaned back and felt En placing small kisses along his neck and jaw. He let out a content little moan as he gave into the sensation of En Dwi running his sure hands over his body until he was cupping a hand over Loki's semi-hard erection and Loki groaned at the touch, moving his hips forward and grinding himself into En's hand.

"Let's head to the bath." En Dwi whispered into Loki's ears and Loki nodded and let himself be pulled into a kiss before he pulled away and lead En to the bathroom. This is what he needed. A little distraction from the tiny,  _tiny_ , blooming thoughts of Thor before they blossomed into anything ridiculous that could lead to trouble. It wasn't going to go anywhere and this wasn't the first time someone had caught Loki's attention and it probably wouldn't be the last. But he didn't need them and focusing on En Dwi always got rid of those thoughts, helped him focus on who mattered to him. 

En Dwi climbed into bubbled filled tub and Loki climbed in after him, settling on En's lap and running his hands through the slightly damp silver hair the way he knew he liked. En squeezed his ass under the water and Loki gave him a playful smirk before leaning in and biting down on En's lower lip, sucking it a little before kissing him long and deep and gyrating his hips on En's lap to get him excited.

En Dwi chuckled and said, "Someone's really getting into it tonight." He sounded pleased and Loki ran his hands over his chest. Yes. This was who he wanted. He wanted to be with En. He wanted to stay by his side. 

So why did Thor keep popping into his head?

Loki gasped as he felt a finger breach him, he tensed a little before relaxing and rested his head against En's shoulder and let out little moans and whimpers as he was slowly worked opened. En was gentle, he was always gentle. He always looked out for Loki's needs, his comfort. He made sure he was never hurt. Never made him feel like he was forced to do things he didn't want to. He loved Loki. 

The water sloshed around as Loki rode En Dwi, their moans merging together in a cacophony of pleasure throughout the large bathroom. En held on to Loki's hips and Loki clung to his shoulders, their foreheads resting together and they were panting as they chased their pleasure until they both came with sharp cries. En Dwi held onto Loki closely as they came down from the high of their orgasms and Loki clung to him tighter.

En Dwi meant safety to Loki. He was safe with En Dwi. En Dwi was safe. He was safe. Safe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That ending could have been better. Hopefully it was still good though.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki was moaning loudly underneath him, his face completely flushed and he looked completely undone, his eyes wide and dazed.

"Ah! Thor!" He cried out as Thor grabbed both his ankles in his hands and lifted his legs up, spreading them apart a little more and pounded into him harder. "Ah! Yes, yes! Keep doing that! Harder! Harder, Thor, please!" Loki cried out, moving his hips to meet Thor's rough and fast thrusts with an eagerness Thor had never encountered with any other person. So Thor gave him exactly what he wanted. He gave Loki everything and Loki cried out louder and louder. He placed his hands on Thor's mighty biceps, clinging to them, wanting Thor closer. "Thor! Thor, I'm so close Thor!" Loki cried out and Thor stared in wonder at Loki's face, wanting to see when he came. Loki's mouth opened in a silent scream and his eyes were shut tightly and then-

Thor woke up. He groaned in frustration and slammed the mattress as he realized it had just been a dream. A glorious, cruel, dream. Thor realized that he was painfully hard and thought of how Loki had looked in his dream as he wrapped a hand around himself and began to jerk off. He thought about how bright Loki's green eyes had looked. How his cheeks were tinged in the most enticing shade of red. How his hair was a wild mess of black curls against the pillows. The creaminess of his pale and smooth skin. But, most of all, he thought about how Loki had looked at the end of his dream. Thor came with a shout in his hand and collapsed back onto his pillows as he waited for his breathing to return to normal.

What he would give to experience that look in real life.

****

En Dwi turned the alarm off and turned to stare at Loki, who was still deeply asleep. He had never been much of a morning person. He stared at Loki carefully, he always looked so much peaceful when he was sleeping. Loki was lying nude and he had the blanket wrapped around his waist but his long and pale legs had moved from under the blanket and were tangled around in them. En ran a hand over Loki's cheek and Loki grunted and turned onto his back, an arm thrown over his head and one of his legs bent up at the knee. En stared at Loki's pale chest, saw the few marks he left there, and couldn't help but place his hand on his chest, right over where his heart should be. Loki was distancing himself from him again. He always did when he started to feel attracted to someone else, someone closer to his own age. En Dwi didn't know who it was Loki was starting to feel himself attracted to but he was determined to keep Loki by his side for as long as he could.

En Dwi got out of bed, put on a robe, and called up Topaz.

"Topaz, dear," En said as soon as she answered the phone, "I need you to do something for me." He was silent as she spoke. "Yes, that's right," he replied, "I need you to keep a close eye on Loki for a while, and if you see someone near him, especially multiple times, find out who they are and tell me." He was silent again and smiled at whatever Topaz said. "Wonderful. Thank you Topaz."

He hung up and went to prepare for work. It'll be a while before he sees Topaz there.

****

Loki wasn't an idiot. He knew that Topaz had been following him around all week and keeping a close eye on him. He also knew she was doing it under orders from En Dwi and he knew why. En suspected, he always sensed when Loki might be thinking of someone else, might be attractive to someone else and he always made sure that nothing ever happened. Loki found it slightly insulting, he was loyal to En Dwi and never once came close to cheating on him. But En needed to be reassured so he sent Topaz to keep and eye on him and Loki kept on letting them both think that he had no clue.  _Nothing_ was happening after all. But Thor wasn't exactly helping.

This entire week, every time Loki left the condo, which was frequently or he'd die of boredom, he somehow always ended up running into Thor. He had no idea if he was following him or if it was a coincidence, he didn't remember ever seeing Thor before the club at the bar, but it was starting to irritate Loki.

Whether he was stopping by for a cup of coffee, Thor was there offering to buy it for him. Whether he stopped by the mall, Thor was there asking if he wanted to grab a bite to eat at the food court. Whether he was running some errands or just killing time somewhere or grabbing to eat Thor. Was. There. Always.

Loki would ignore him. Snap at him. Glare at him. Make it abundantly clear that he wanted  _nothing_ to do with him. And yet Thor persisted and Loki was growing worried. Topaz was following him, had most likely seen Thor constantly approaching him and had probably told En Dwi about him. Thor worked at one of the clubs he owned, he'll find out who he is easily. Not that Loki should care. And he didn't. Thor was nothing but an annoyance, a beautiful annoyance but an annoyance nonetheless that Loki did not need. And he definitely did not need these lingering thoughts of him constantly swimming around in his head 

He could see En Dwi watching him closely, occasionally frowning at his when Loki would look dazed or when he seemed distracted. He would wave away his question and say it was nothing, but he couldn't keep doing that forever. Not when he was still being watched and not when Thor couldn't take the fucking hint. What did Thor even want from him? Maybe it was time for him to be much harsher with Thor in order to get to of him. And Loki was prepared to do that the next time he saw Thor, which, surprise surprise, was the very next day.

****

Thor thought he was making pretty good progress. He had managed to run into Loki several times, mostly by pure luck and merely wandering around. Loki would mostly shrug him off, ignore him, or use that sharp tongue on him. But he never outright told Thor to leave him alone, and he didn't mention the sugar daddy boyfriend either. Thor had the suspicion that Loki might be just as into him as he was, but he was being stubborn. Guess he should have expected that, he  _was_ in a relationship and Thor  _never_ messed with anyone who was in one, too much drama. But Loki was different and he had that gut feeling that there was more to his relationship with En Dwi Gast, and his gut was never wrong.

He had thought of asking Loki about it, but they didn't know each other nearly enough for that, he was still trying to get him to join him for a cup of coffee or a bite to eat. He wasn't giving up though, his luck was bound to change and Loki was bound to give in to his feelings that he was plainly trying to hide, judging by how jumpy he's been the last few times he's seen him. He just thought his luck would change for the better, not for worse.

He spotted Loki heading in towards the supermarket, which was another happy coincidence as Thor had some stuff he had to buy for dinner tonight. Thor walked in and made a point of gathering some food before "bumping" into Loki's cart with his. Loki had looked to probably apologize but as soon as his eyes rested on Thor they narrowed in anger and cold dislike and Thor felt his smile falter and heartbeat speed up, maybe this was a mistake.

"Uh, sorry." Thor said feebly, unsure whether to say what he had planned to.

"What are you doing?" Loki hissed at him through bared teeth.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Oh I'm sure you did!" Loki snapped and released his fury on Thor. "I have no idea what you think all this will lead to but I am sick of you bumping into me all the time! I highly doubt you've been doing it on purpose seeing as how I doubt you're  _that_ clever, but you're clearly using all these 'bumping' opportunities to your advantage. Well, let me just tell you,  _Thor_ , I. Am. Not. Interested. I will never be interested in the likes of you, a simple bartender at some club. So do us both a favor, especially me, and leave me the fuck alone! Go bother someone more worthy of your time."

Loki then grabbed a box of pasta and threw it in his cart before turning and walking away, leaving behind a furious Thor. _A simple bartender? Someone more worthy of his time?_ Thor thought angrily. Did Loki think so high and mighty of himself and so little of Thor?

"Oh right," Thor scoffed, "the only people  _worthy_ of your time are those with buckets of money and power like your sugar daddy of a boyfriend En Dwi Gast. He's the only one who can deal with that attitude of yours to get to that pretty face and hot body of yours and you get all his money to spend to your little, shallow, heart's content." Thor immediately regretted the words as soon as they came out, they were cruel and not what he really thought. But he regretted them more when he saw Loki's shoulders stiffen and the slight hurt in Loki's green eyes before they melted in fury. Thor watched as Loki straightened up, pressed his lips into a thin line, stomped towards him, and swung his hand back before punching him full in the jaw with an impressive amount of strength. Thor took the punch and he faced Loki with a blank look in his face.

"Stay the fuck away from me." Loki hissed angrily at Thor and stomped away, leaving behind his cart filled with all his groceries. Thor could only stare sadly at Loki's abandoned cart before he too left the market empty handed. He wasn't in the mood to make dinner tonight, he might just get takeout. But he wasn't really hungry anymore after seeing that small look of hurt in Loki's eyes before he hid it behind fury. Thor had said terrible things to him, and he hadn't meant them, he truly didn't. But the damage was done. He would listen to Loki, though, and leave him alone. Loki didn't deserve to be pestered by Thor, not after what he said. He had basically called him a gold digging tramp who was only tolerated for his body and looks. How could he ever speak to Loki again after that?

****

Loki had made it the car before he broke down. He didn't allow any tears to fall, but he did sob. He knew that's what people thought of him. He knew they thought him a gold digger who found himself a good sugar daddy in En Dwi and he knew that they thought En only wanted him for his body. He knew  _all_ of that already. So why did it hurt so much when Thor said it? To hear him say all of that? Because Loki was an idiot, that's why. Loki wasn't just attracted to Thor, he was genuinely growing to  _like_ him. That's why he didn't want Thor hanging around him and possibly getting in trouble with En Dwi. He was generally growing to like Thor and now he knows that Thor, like so many others, didn't even like  _him_. He just wanted his body but wasn't willing to put up with Loki's nasty attitude and turned nasty himself. Loki wasn't worth it for Thor. He wasn't worth it for anyone, only En Dwi, and this was his reminder. Loki sniffed and started the car. Only En Dwi cared about him, truly cared, and Loki would remember that from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Thor and Loki will be happening soon ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was all over the place.

When Loki got back to the condo he dug around the huge closet until he found what he was looking for, a tiny silver case. Loki opened it slowly and found the small, blue, packet still tucked safely away in the case. He opened the case and shook it until a few small, white tablets fell onto his outstretched palm. Ecstasy tablets. Loki had saved some from back when he had worked at.... at  _that_ place. It had been nearly two years since Loki took one, since he left that old chapter of his life behind, and they were the only thing that made doing what he did bearable. The side effects were highly unpleasant, especially the insomnia, sweating, and nausea. But Loki had thought it was all worth it for the  _good_ they did and made him feel. Especially the euphoria, the relaxed way they made him feel, and the increased self confidence. But it was the hallucinations, the false sense of inner peace, the reduced anxiety, and the being unable to be aware of the time and his surroundings that had made these pills Loki's lifesaver back then. Others would argue that they're ability to make Loki more open sexually and making him more open to closeness was the best part, but Loki had hated those parts also.

Loki sighed as he put all but one of the ecstasy tablets away and rolled it around his thumb and index finger, staring intently at it. He had no idea why he saved them, he had sworn off them when En Dwi took him in and helped him through his slight, and pathetic, addiction to it. Loki didn't want to go back to using them, but he couldn't bring himself to get rid of them like En Dwi thought he had, and just holding one calmed Loki down. He did eventually put the ecstasy tablet and the case away, they were a far and dark part of Loki's past and he didn't need them anymore. He didn't want to need them anymore.

Loki sighed as he sat back and rested his head against the closet wall. He knew he did the right thing, getting Thor to leave him alone before anything happened between him and En Dwi. It still hurt though, having learned just how little Thor liked him or even cared about him, especially now when Loki realized just how much he was starting to like Thor. Loki let out a sad chuckle as he thought about that, the irony. That those he grew to care about never cared for him. No, only jerks and terrible people wanted him and En Dwi had been the only one willing to save Loki from them, from  _him_. And yet Loki couldn't grow to love him. He tried, he's been trying for two years but no matter how hard he tried to make himself love him Loki's stupid heart just wouldn't cooperate. No his heart still yearned for assholes after spending three years in nothing but their company and it just wouldn't learn. Loki and his stupid heart were nothing but idiots.

He was still sitting in the closet when En Dwi came home and found him there.

"Loki, sweetheart, what's wrong?" En Dwi knelt beside Loki and ran a hand through Loki's hair. Loki shut his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at him and said, "I had a bad day."

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

"Not particularly, no."

En frowned and cupped Loki's face and lifted his face up and waited until Loki opened his eyes. "Tell me."

"I really don't want to, En."

"It'll make you feel better." En insisted and smiled at Loki as he bopped him on the nose. Loki merely looked unamused but a corner of his mouth went up and En Dwi clapped his hands and said, "I saw that! Now come on Loki, tell me what happened today."

"Nothing En, really. It's not important." Loki insisted.

"Anything that upsets you is important Loki."

Loki groaned dramatically and said, "Fine! I was getting some groceries and I, I bumped into someone and he tried flirting with me and I turned him down and he called me a gold digger and said that only you, my 'sugar daddy boyfriend' as he so kindly put it, could put up with me to get to this." On the last word Loki had gestured towards his body and looked away from En.

It wasn't a  _complete_ lie and he knew that Topaz doesn't watch him when he goes to the markets, nothing exciting ever happens there, so she couldn't tell En that Thor was the guy. He had to know about Thor already and he was probably planning on firing Thor or something else if he thought he and Loki were seeing too much of each other, so Loki didn't mention Thor.

Loki shrugged and continued speaking before En did, "I don't know, it's not the first time I've heard that or been called that but... it just rubbed me the wrong way today and hurt a little more then I would like to admit."

En Dwi grasped Loki's hands gently in his and brought them up to his lips and kissed them gently. "You know I love you for more then just your body right? I love you for  _you_ Loki. I love how smart and clever you are, I love the fire in your eyes, I love how passionate you can be, how mischievous you can be as well, and love those rare moments when you let me see how truly kind and caring you are. You are so much more then a pretty face Loki, so much more."

Loki smiled slightly at the intense look in En's hazel eyes as he willed Loki to  _believe_ his words, to believe he was more. But it just brought a pang to Loki's heart. En Dwi truly was a good man, why couldn't he love him like he deserved to be loved? Loki wrapped his arms around En and tucked his head underneath En's chin and mumbled, "Hold me, please." So En Dwi held Loki tightly to him, rubbing his back soothingly and pressing a kiss to Loki's hair.

"I love you Loki, believe that."

****

"So this is all the information you've gathered on him?" En Dwi asked as he looked through the folder Topaz had dropped on his desk in front of him.

"Yup. Name is Thor Odinson. He's about twenty-eight, moved here nearly two years ago, and currently works as a bartender at The Ark but he'll also bar tend at private parties. He use to wrestle and play football and his father is the head of a law firm. Thor Odinson was originally in law school, most likely to join his father's law firm, but he dropped out and is currently working on getting his degree in engineering and construction. Man is a man of action, not someone who can spend his days in a suit and office." Topaz droned while En checked that all that information was in the folder.

"And he had been pursuing Loki?"

"For a few days but I haven't seen any sign of him anywhere near Loki this last week and Loki had never seemed interested. My guess is that he had finally confronted him and told him off and Thor Odinson was clearly rejected and was smart enough not to continue with his pursuit."

En Dwi nodded and then chuckled delightedly as he thought of exactly what Loki must have told this blonde Adonis to get him to back off. That must have been one verbal lashing from that sharp tongue and En truly wished he had witnessed that.

"You think we should still do something about him?" Topaz asked sounding bored.

En shook his head and, with a bright smile, said, "Not necessary. Plus he attracts a good crowd at the bar for his bar tending, looks, and personality. He's also smart to have left Loki alone so I'll just dock his pay a little as a warning, make something up for why though, and we'll just keep a careful eye on him. If he approaches Loki again then we'll deal with him, I'm sure we'll find a use for his skills somewhere else."

Topaz rose an eyebrow and said, "I thought you weren't looking for anymore contenders."

En Dwi shrugged, "I need my entertainment, now, go and plan my birthday party, it's next week you know." He then waved her away and went back to work.

****

Loki saw Topaz more this past week then he ever wanted to see of her. He was  _supposed_ to be helping her plan En Dwi's birthday party but she never listened to his suggestions so he just spent hours sitting there as she made calls and planned the whole thing on her own. At least he got to decide how he would look.

En Dwi's birthday parties were always these grand and flashy spectacle that Loki has only been present for two, this will be his third time celebrating En's birthday and he honestly had no idea what to expect but he always enjoyed them. It was the only party he genuinely looked forward towards since he actually liked celebrating his birthday and made sure En was having fun as he stayed by his side. It was also the few times that En didn't care how drunk Loki got so Loki was able to loosen up. And he really needed to have a good time.

"Loki, pay attention. We're planning a party here." Topaz snapped at him and Loki had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at her and to remind her that she literally wasn't willing to listen to anything he said. But he still sat up and pretended to plan when Topaz did all the work herself. He hated spending time with Topaz on his own and couldn't wait for the party.

****

"Are you excited for you party tomorrow, love?" Loki asked as he ran a hand over En's bare chest. They had just finished having sex and Loki honestly felt like going another round but he knew En would be wanting to sleep now to rest for the party tomorrow.

"Oooh, yes. I heard you and Topaz were, uh, busy planning it." En said as he ran his fingers over Loki's spine slowly.

"Well, I tried," Loki said and looked up at En Dwi's face, "she wouldn't listen to any of my ideas, as usual, but she had some good one's so it'll be fun."

"Oh I am glad to hear that. Are you looking forward to the party as well my pale little ray of light?"

"But of course, you know how much I love celebrating your birthdays En Dwi."

"That I do. And I love watching you enjoy yourself so much. It's like a dream."

Loki laughed at that and reached up to kiss En on the lips and only pulled back when he felt a sharp smack on his bare ass. He raised an eyebrow and said, "Really? Another go?"

"It is my birthday after all." En said with a sly smile and rolled them over so he was on top of Loki who was giggling and had wrapped his arms around E's shoulders and spread his legs open.

"Oh, I like the sound of that." Loki smirked before En Dwi claimed his lips.

****

Thor was surprised when he heard that he had been hired to bar tend at a private party, and not just any party, En Dwi Gast's 50th birthday party. He had seriously considered not going since he figured Loki would definitely be there and after what he had last said to him he didn't want Loki to feel as if he was still after him. But the money was good and the party was bound to be so huge the odds of them running into each other were slim. And Thor wasn't going to be the only bartender so he would just have to make sure he didn't serve Loki or his boyfriend. Thor could handle that.

Was what he thought before he laid eyes on Loki as he stood behind the bar with the other bartenders and were in the middle of preparing everything for the party. For some reason Loki coming early, before the party even started, with En Dwi Gast, and some woman he didn't know, did not occur to him. No doubt they had come to check on everything before the party started and Thor couldn't help but follow Loki's every move, who thankfully hasn't noticed him for the moment. Loki truly looked wonderful dressed in a black suit with the jacket open and a green buttoned dress shirt with the top two buttons unbuttoned, he wore no tie and the curls in his hair looked so soft and silky. Loki was truly gorgeous and it hurt to look at him so Thor turned his focus back on his job.  _Loki doesn't want you and after what you said to him weeks ago he never will_ , Thor reminded himself and kept his eyes down and away from that green eyed siren.

Thor's musings were interrupted by a loud and excited voice, "Everything ready here?"

Thor looked to see none other then En Dwi Gast talking to one of the other bartenders, Victor, with a wide grin on his face. Thor looked around and he saw Loki standing by the woman who seemed to be checking on the sound systems.

"Yes sir, we have all the alcohol ready to go and we have your personalized mixed drinks memorized and prepared to serve them when they are ordered."

"Excellent, be sure to always be prepared to serve myself and Loki when we approach the bar, neither of us enjoy waiting too long for our drinks." En Dwi Gast clapped his hands together and chuckled before walking away to check on something else. Thor noticed Victor scowl as he looked over towards Loki but he merely went back to checking everything and had soon sent Thor and and another bartender to a different bar, there were like four bars here. Thor set everything up and simply waited for the party to start.

****

The party was in full swing and Loki hadn't smiled this much in the longest time, all the alcohol he's drunk might have just a tiny bit to do with that. Loki had dutifully stood by En Dwi's side and he was laughing and socializing and every now and then he would cling to En Dwi before going to get another drink. He had noticed one of the bartenders giving him looks that he kept ignoring and ordered another one of En's colorful drinks. They were insanely colorful and topped with garnishes and incredibly sweet, but they were also  _full_ of alcohol and Loki loved them, he was already drunk and enjoying it.

En Dwi had just called for the entertainment to start and Loki quickly hurried to his side, accidentally bumping into someone in the process. Loki mumbled a quick apology without turning to look at them and Thor stared after him as he made his way further away from him. Loki took his seat right by En, offered him a sip of his drink, and turned with wide and excited eyes and flushed cheeks to what was in front of him. En quickly pulled him close to him and Loki let his legs rest on top of En's and made himself comfortable.

The first of the entertainment that came out were a group of dancers that moved so sensuously and magnificent, Loki could see that En was completely enthralled but he was losing interest in this pretty fast and he made no secret of it as he pulled his legs back and went to get another drink, he wasn't a fan of dancing but this party wasn't about him so he'll just get a little more drunk. He had headed to one of the other bars to get his drink to avoid the one with the bartender that kept throwing looks at him. He didn't want to sit at the bar but the dancers were still at it so he didn't want to go back to En and there was no one else to talk to, or who would want to talk to him. Bar it was then.

****

Thor hated himself for it but he had been keeping a careful eye on Loki all party long, he couldn't help himself. And he was surprised by just how much Loki had seemed to be enjoying himself, he actually saw Loki smile and laugh... from a distance. He was also amazed that Loki hadn't even noticed that he was working one of the bars, but that was probably just because Loki was getting drunker and drunker on all those colorful drinks. He had also noticed that Loki hadn't gone back to his boyfriend and that he had left as soon as those dancers had appeared. God he was going to become a stalker at this rate. He huffed and went back to work before he embarrassed himself or got caught staring at Loki far too long.

He went back to mixing up drinks for the party guests when he heard the bartender working next to him mutter, "There he goes."

"Who?" Thor asked looking up curiously, they had been making fun of some of the more gaudier looking guests for fun.

"Victor, he's been staring at Loki since he showed up earlier when Gast and his assistant showed up to check everything. I've been keeping an eye on him to see when he'd try and approach him. Figures he'd wait until Loki was alone and Gast was distracted, I can't wait to see Loki turn Victor down, I heard he's vicious."

"Oh I've heard that too." Thor said but he was frowning, Loki was still drinking those colorful drinks and Thor saw him stumble as he got off from the stool and made his way to the restrooms when he was intercepted by Victor. Both Thor and the bartender kept an eye, Thor out of curiosity and the bartender for the hope of watching Victor getting turned down. But it didn't appear like Victor was hitting on Loki, it looked more like he was trying to intimidate and confront him. He had thrown an arm in front of Loki and was crowding him against the wall with his face right in front of Loki's. They had watched as Loki's angry glare turned into wide eyed shock and as he tried to slip by Victor, but he caged him in with his arms and leaned even closer towards Loki.

The other bartender turned away and went back to serving the drinks, but Thor marched over to where Victor and Loki where and pulled Victor roughly by the shoulder and threw him back. Loki took this chance to slip away and slipped into the restroom without looking at either men.

"What was that for?" Victor asked angrily as he approached Thor. Thor grabbed him by the shirt and slammed against the wall.

"What was with whatever you were doing to him?" Thor snarled and squinted his eyes when Victor smiled unpleasantly at him.

"I know some things about him he doesn't want anyone to know about. I was merely asking him about them." Victor pushed Thor away from him and scowled at him. "Why do you care, Odinson?"

"Because you were clearly being a dick and we're here to work." Thor snapped and Victor scoffed.

"Right, Odinson." He then bumped against Thor's shoulder as he headed back to the bar. Thor looked towards the restrooms.

****

Loki stumbled into the restroom and headed towards the sink, turning on the tap and just stared at the running water. He still had his drink in his hand, he just noticed that, and tipped the contents of it down his throat and grimaced at the slight burn and sweetness from the drink.  _Fuck!_ Loki thought angrily as he splashed some of the cold water into his face and stared at his reflection to see an angry and frightened looking man with his face paler but cheeks still flushed staring back at him. Some wet strands of his black hair was hanging in his face and Loki pushed them back roughly before splashing more cold water in his face.

He didn't think anyone but En Dwi and Topaz  _knew_ about his past. How the hell did some random bartender know about what he use to do? He had approached Loki and wouldn't let him leave. He had asked him if he still did  _that_ and had the nerve to ask if Loki would give them all a performance for his "sugar daddy's" birthday and he had looked far too excited about it and it unnerved Loki. Loki spent the majority of his time at... at _that_ place on ecstasy so he had no memory of any of the people there. Just his former boss and he had no desire to remember him. To, to have someone else here who knew of his former life as, as a  _stripper_ unnerved him. That and his having no memory of ever seeing him or the way he had looked down at Loki... it made him want to get another drink and fast. He heard the door open and turned around and scowled when he saw who it was.

"Seriously?" Loki muttered and shut the water off. He saw Thor raising his hands in the mirror's reflections and raised his eyebrow at that.

"I'm not here to bother you," Thor said quietly as he avoided looking at Loki's reflection, "I'm working at one of the bars and I noticed what was going on and I just wanted to check if you were okay."

"Nothing a few more drinks can't fix." Loki said tonelessly.

"I think you've had enough."

"Oh do you?" Loki sneered as he turned around to glare at Thor, who was still avoiding looking at him directly.

Thor shrugged and said, "It's part of my job, knowing when to cut people off."

"Well, during En's birthday parties no one's allowed to cut me off, so screw you bartender." 

Loki made to leave the restroom but Thor grabbed him by his elbow and held him back. Loki spun around and made to punch Thor in his face, but he missed and punched the air next to Thor's ear, ruffling his golden hair. Thor did his best not to laugh at the dazed and confused look on Loki's face as he pulled his hand back and merely stared blankly at his fist. He also couldn't help but noticed how pink Loki's parted lips looked and he cleared his throat loudly as he looked away, drawing Loki's dazed and drunk attention towards him and unaware of it.

It was then that Loki truly took notice of how delectably gorgeous Thor looked. He was dressed in dark blue jeans that hugged his legs and hips wonderfully and a tight black t-shirt that perfectly showed off Thor's muscled physique and Loki bit his bottom lip as he took in the sight of Thor. It was completely different from En, Loki hated making that comparison a little but it popped into his head and he wasn't thinking quite clearly at the moment. He moved his eyes up and saw Thor running his pink tongue across his lips a tad nervously and Loki felt a heat of want curling in his lower belly, something he hadn't truly felt in years. He felt his hands twitching by his sides as he fought the urge to run them through Thor's loose, golden hair. He couldn't give in to this desire, drunk or not he was with En Dwi and Thor didn't even like him as a person.

"Loki-" Thor started to say in his deep rumble of a voice.

Loki threw his arms around Thor and kissed his full lips with bruising force, slamming Thor against the wall and kissing him deeply as Thor's back collided with the wall, taking him completely by surprised.


	7. Chapter 7

Thor was still completely shocked by Loki's jumping on him and kissing him, part of him suspected it was mainly due to Loki being drunk. But he still couldn't help himself as he grabbed Loki by the shoulders and swung him around so now Loki was pressed roughly against the wall with Thor looming over him, caging him with his body. Loki was looking up at him with dilated eyes, flushed cheeks, and parted pink lips. Thor couldn't resist, he claimed Loki's mouth with his, kissing him roughly, Loki growled with satisfaction against his mouth, clearly this is what he wanted. Loki ran his hands roughly and clumsily over Thor's body, seeming to marvel at it and appreciate it and Thor found himself greatly enjoying the attention Loki was giving him.

He snaked his hands down Loki's side to grasp handfuls of Loki's firm and round ass. Loki moaned and ground his hips against Thor's and Thor could feel he was half hard. Loki pulled back from the kiss, grasped Thor's face, and rasped out, "Fuck me."

Thor started to pull back slightly, unsure if this was Loki or the alcohol talking, but Loki pulled him back roughly and kissed him even rougher before pulling back and said, "Don't think just fuck me! I know it's what you want to do." And Loki ground his hips against him again, making sure to rub his half hard erection against Thor's. Thor groaned and hiss, and before his conscience could stop him, Thor yanked Loki's pants roughly down to his thighs while Loki reached down and unfastened Thor's jeans, freeing his cock. Thor then grabbed Loki by his ass and held him up firmly against the wall and Loki wrapped his legs the best he could around Thor's waist.

Thor brought three of his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them, trying to slick them as much as he could before carefully circling a finger around Loki's hole, the tight muscle quivering underneath his touch and making Loki whine from impatience. Thor slowly and carefully pushed his finger in, Loki groaned and threw his head back against the wall. Thor stopped moving his finger.

"Don't stop." Loki groaned so Thor pushed another finger in and started twisting it inside Loki and scissoring him open. Loki whined and moaned at the feeling of Thor opening him up. Once Thor added a third finger Loki hissed at the slight burn and stretch but was glad Thor didn't stop, clearly he was becoming just as impatient as Loki already was.

"Hurry." Loki whined and Thor spit in the palm of his hand before reaching down between himself and Loki and grasped his hard cock, doing his best to slick it with his spit before easing it close to Loki's opened hole and pushing it in. Loki cried out at the wide stretch of Thor's cock and Thor groaned at the delightfully tight feeling of Loki and stood still to give Loki time to grow accustomed to the feel of him inside him. "Move." Loki demanded. So Thor did.

He pounded up into Loki who quickly wrapped his arms around Thor to balance himself against the wall and in Thor's arms. He cried out with every thrust that Thor moved inside him, panting hotly against Thor's ear who panted against Loki's neck. As Thor thrust into Loki again he changed the angle slightly and hit Loki's prostrate causing him to see stars and cry out loudly against Thor's ears. Encouraged by that response Thor made sure to hit that same spot and was rewarded by the lovely sounds of Loki's cries of pleasure that Thor answered with grunts. Loki felt himself getting close and managed to reach a hand down to grasp his own cock just as he came with a loud cry. As he was coming down from the high of his orgasm and Thor still pounded into him he heard him stuttering and the rhythm of his thrusts becoming erratic and Loki managed to choke out, "Don't come in me."

Thor thrust into Loki a few more times before pulling out of him and came with a roar and let his head fall on Loki's shoulder as he took deep breaths as he came down while Loki still had his arms and legs wrapped around Thor, feeling content. Until he felt a set of lips on his neck that were not En Dwi's. Felt hands massaging his ass that were not En Dwi's. Felt broad shoulders under his hands that were not En Dwi's. None of this was An Dwi's, this wasn't En. He felt horribly sober as he remembered who he just fucking had sex with in a restroom at his boyfriend's fucking birthday party! Loki felt himself go cold with dread, shame, and guilt.

He unwrapped his legs from around Thor's waist and pushed a confused Thor off of him before pulling his pants back up and went to quickly wash his hands.

"Loki?" Came Thor's uncertain voice and Loki flinched like he was just slapped. He turned off the water, dried his hands off, and, without looking at Thor, turned his head towards him and muttered out a quiet, "I'm sorry," before running out the restroom door.

****

Loki stumbled back into the party and did his best to look calm, or at least like he was drunk and having fun, when really all he felt was horribly guilty. What the fuck did he do? What the fuck got into him? Loki's hands were shaking and he desperately wanted another drink, but he spotted En easing his way through the crowd and Loki headed towards him while shoving the guilt deep down in the pit of his stomach where it belonged.

"Loki! There you are, where did you run off to?" En asked as he spotted Loki and pulled him close, placing far too tender of a kiss on his brow.

"I went to get a few more drinks and then I went to the restroom." Loki said in a steady voice while he burned from En's touch knowing that he had just betrayed him.

"You're not too drunk are you? Did you get sick?"

"No I didn't get sick and I'm not drunk."  _Not anymore at least_ , Loki thought as he answered.

"That's fantastic! Come, the fireworks and light show are about to start." En Dwi said sounding cheerful and like he was having the night of his life. Loki was the worst, but he followed his wonderfully sweet and caring boyfriend and enjoyed the show with him, trying to ignore the ache deep inside his heart as well as the slight ache in his ass.

Once the fireworks and light show were over En decided it was the perfect time to cut  his cake, a three foot tall, three tiered monstrosity of a cake that was covered in cream colored frosting, had red and blue sashes tied around the layers of cake, and was covered in frosting flowers with a mini statuette of En at the top. Loki knew it was a white cake with raspberry filling and chocolate frosting and that it was delicious. But it felt dry and sandy in his mouth and throat. He still forced himself to eat it as he knew En would be hurt if he didn't.

He spent the rest of the party glued to En's side and resolutely ignored the hurt look from one blonde bartender he could feel was on him.

****

Once they were back at the condo alone Loki wasn't surprised that En Dwi wanted to get a little frisky, it was his birthday after all. But he didn't want to, he felt shame and guilt, but he couldn't say no. Not after he cheated on him like that just a few hours earlier. So Loki let himself be undressed, he let hands run over his body and allowed himself to become aroused. He let himself be lead to the bed and climbed on top of it on all fours. He moaned and painted as he felt himself being opened again, glad he had the common sense to tell Thor not to come inside him, and he let himself enjoy the feel of En Dwi thrusting in him and ignored the burning guilt building inside him.

Once they were done, once En Dwi had cuddled and kissed Loki, making him feel loved and terrible, once he had fallen asleep, Loki brought the pillow close to his face and buried his face in it. And he sobbed quietly into it, hating himself for having sex with Thor, for practically demanding it. It didn't mattered that he was drunk, he still did it. He betrayed En, and he knew it would hurt him deeply if he ever found out and he didn't want that! He also hated himself for wishing Thor was the one lying beside him, for missing the feel of Thor's cock sliding in and out of him. For wanting Thor's arms around him. For still thinking of him.

Loki was truly pathetic and En Dwi deserved better than him.

****

Thor yawned widely as he made himself a strong cup of coffee. He had barely slept a wink last night, too distracted by the surprising and confusing turn of events that happened in that restroom. He had merely gone in the see if Loki was fine. He had no idea how drunk Loki was or that he would have suddenly kissed him and then asked to be fucked. And, ignoring the sane and responsible voice in his head, Thor had. He didn't stop to think that Loki was in a relationship and his boyfriend was somewhere out that restroom door. He didn't stop to think of the possibility that drunk Loki wasn't thinking clearly at the moment. 

He should have thought about all of that though. Because the minute they were done Loki had sobered up enough to think and it was clear from the look on his face that he had instantly regretted it. That he wouldn't have let Thor fucked him if he had been sober. 

Thor could have blamed it on Loki and the alcohol all he wanted, but he was sober. He also knew from the beginning that Loki was taken and he still tried pursuing him. He hadn't cared though. He was drawn by Loki and all that had mattered was getting close to him. But not like this. That look on Loki's face as he had pulled his pants back up, washed his hands, and apologized... it gutted Thor. It made him feel dirty, like he did something bad, that he had wronged Loki somehow. And maybe he had. He was a few years older than him, he was sober, and he knew what being drunk could do to a person. Make them not think clearly and do things they could come to regret. And he had ignored all that just for the chance to fuck Loki. And now he was hurting and Loki probably was too. 

This was not how he had wanted to get close to Loki at all. But maybe he shouldn't have tried in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the guilt


	8. Chapter 8

Loki woke up early the next day, he couldn't sleep much anyways, and the first thing he did was take a couple aspirins for the headache that was slowly killing him. After he spent a few minutes throwing up into the toilet and rinsed his mouth out. He did his best to put what happened yesterday far from his mind and thought of surprising En Dwi with some lovely breakfast. Then he remembered that he didn't even  _know_ how to cook, which was just pathetic. So he called up some of the private chefs En employed and had them fix the breakfast he imagined. He then placed the food on the dining table himself and thanked the  private chef who came in this morning. It all looked good, the banana pancakes with chopped strawberries and drizzled with sweetened condensed milk, the french toast with powdered sugar sprinkled over them, a side of the apple smoked bacon En loved so much, and mixed berries and tea on the side.

Loki went to freshen up a little since he knew his hair most likely looked a mess and he needed to desperately brush his mouth before En woke up, hopefully he wasn't hungover. Once Loki was done in the bathroom he saw En up and already dressed in his robe and seemingly glowing with happiness, he always could handle his alcohol better then Loki ever could.

"Morning love, no hangover?" En asked far too cheerily.

Loki shook his head, "I'm fine," Loki reached out to grasp En Dwi's hand, "come, I had breakfast prepared and it should still be warm."

En Dwi allowed Loki to lead him away, a huge smile on his face, and his eyes widened when they landed on all the food on the table. "Why Loki," En said in a wondering tone, "this all looks wonderful." He pulled Loki close to him and placed a quick kiss on his cheek and was surprised to find Loki blushing slightly.

"Don't be too excited or impressed, I called up one of the private chefs to prepare this. I keep forgetting that I can't cook and I don't bother trying to fix that." Loki mumbled as they sat down to eat the lovely breakfast that was prepared for them.

"You don't need to learn to cook Loki, I never bothered and that's what I have private chefs for." En Dwi said as he took a bite of the pancakes which were wonderfully fluffy.

Loki popped a blueberry into his mouth before saying, "Yes but... I'd like to surprise you with some of my own cooking one of these days. Like I wanted to this morning." 

En waved a tanned hand as he grabbed a piece of bacon and said, "Darling, it's the thought that counts but if it means so much to you you could get some cooking lessons. I'm sure one of the chefs will be happy to teach you. Or you could take a class to occupy your time, I know you tire of being here all day."

"Really?" Loki asked excitedly, it would keep him occupied and if he had any talent for it he could surprise En with cooked meals and maybe that would ease some of Loki's guilt. The thought made Loki's stomach clench, did he really think that having En  _pay_ for him to learn how to cook would make up for letting, for demanding, someone else to fuck him at his own birthday party. God, Loki really was nothing but a gold digger... and one that cheats on his boyfriend.

"Sure," En Dwi said, completely unaware of Loki's guilt, "if it's really so important for you to learn to cook."

"No, it... it'll no doubt cost you money..."

"I have plenty of it!" En said as he finished the bacon and took a sip of his tea before starting on the french toast.

"Yes, but you know I'm not entirely comfortable having you spend money on me, En." Loki muttered as he cut into his pancakes and made sure to get some of the sweetened condensed milk on his bite of pancakes.

"And I've told you, Loki my love, I don't mind at all. If it'll make you feel better you can make it up to me with all the home cooked meals I'll be demanding from you." En joked and Loki couldn't help but laugh at that. This wasn't how he expected this morning to go but En was always taking him by surprise.

****

En Dwi was in his study, going over a few papers, and occasionally eating one of the few cookies Loki had tried baking, lavender lemon sugar cookies which were surprisingly quite good. Loki had really taken to the cooking and baking lessons and it had surprised them both how good Loki was, part of it was due to Loki being able to follow directions and study, he's been studying recipes like mad. And though Loki truly looked pleased and happy to have something to occupy his time something didn't seem right with him. He wasn't distancing himself from him, in fact Loki had become quite clingy and wanting to please, but there was now an empty look in his eyes and it worried him. It reminded him of when he had first met Loki at that bachelor party two years ago.

He didn't even remember who's bachelor party it was, he hadn't really cared at the time, he just liked being invited to parties. En could still clearly remember when Loki had come out to perform his little striptease and lap dance. While everyone was focusing on Loki's movements and the slow reveal of more and more creamy skin En had been captivated by those emerald eyes. So captivated that he had noticed how empty and blank they looked, how that charming little smirk of a smile never reached his eyes. And when he had gotten to Loki on his own he had also noticed just how  _young_ Loki had seemed and how lost and stuck he looked, he would later learn that the ecstasy he had taken earlier that day had been wearing off and that he was crashing a little.

That's how Loki looked now, except he wasn't dazed so he knew Loki wasn't on anything, and he worried about what had brought that look into his eyes again. En was still mulling it over when Topaz stepped in.

"Who let you in?" En asked but not really troubled, it was just Topaz after all.

"I have a key, sir." Topaz remarked and placed some more papers on his desk and pointedly ignoring his scowl. "These need your signature if you still want to buy that property." He sighed but went ahead and signed them all without glancing at them, he had Topaz to read through them and only bring it to him to sign if it all sounded good.

"Better get that property under my name real soon." En Dwi grumbled as he finished signing the last of the papers before pushing them away from him.

"What are you even planning on doing with that property when you get it?" Topaz asked as she put the papers carefully away.

"No idea!" En said with a gleeful shout, "I'll figure something out though." Topaz rolled her eyes and made to leave when En cleared his throat and he asked, "Topaz, my dear, did you by any chance notice anything strange about Loki during my party?"

Topaz rose an eyebrow and said, "I was not aware I was to watch him." 

"You weren't, but I'm asking if you noticed something. Loki usually enjoys my birthday parties but I have a feeling something happened this time and that it's bothering him."

Topaz was silent as she tried to recall seeing anything other then Loki staying by his boyfriend's side and drinking those disgustingly sweet drinks when she remembered something. "There was this one bartender, not Thor Odinson, but one with dark hair and a couple of piercings. He had approached Loki when he was on his way to his restroom and he had him caged against the wall and Loki had seemed almost shocked, with was unusual for him. That's all I saw. I was making my way to you to tell you about it and when I next looked Loki was gone and the bartender was back at the bar and Loki was back at your side."

En Dwi frowned. "Who was the bartender?"

"I'll have to look through our records, don't know his name."

"Good, you do that, I'll ask Loki about it later. Make sure he didn't do anything inappropriate."

"You certainly care a Lot more about Loki then you ever did with any of your other pets." Topaz said stiffly.

"Ah-ah," En Dwi said with a reproachful finger, "none of them were pets. But yes, you're right. I do care about Loki more then I ever did for any of his ex's. I might even truly love him, maybe enough to have him by my side for the rest of my life. If he'll have me that is."

"Don't tell me I'll have a wedding to plan?" Topaz said with a groan.

En Dwi let out a delighted laugh before turning back to the papers he was looking through and taking another bite of the cookies. "God no, I don't believe in marriage and Loki isn't too fond of it either. No, I'm happy with how things are."  _I just wish Loki was happier_.

****

Thor had been good these past two weeks, he had spotted Loki out and about at least four times and he had left him alone and had not allowed his gaze to stray towards him. It might have been a little too late but it was what Loki, sober Loki anyways, wanted. But he was surprised by how much it hurt. Had he really grown so fond of Loki without really knowing a thing about him? He must have since, despite having one nights stands before, Thor couldn't stop thinking about it. Or, more accurately, what happened after. That look on Loki's face when they were done, it was haunting him and Thor was growing increasingly concerned he had done something wrong, besides fucking someone who was in a relationship.

He had to speak to Loki, at least once, just to make sure everything was okay and to apologize. And then he would leave Loki alone for good.

****

Loki finished putting on his black vest just as En peeked into the room. "Ready love?" He asked.

"Just about." Loki answered as he straightened the vest and buttoned the ends of his sleeves before turning towards En and wrapping his arms around his waists fondly and, with a playful smirk, asked, "Now, where are you planning on taking me tonight, En Dwi?"

En Dwi smiled as he placed a soft kiss to the tip of Loki's nose before moving back and grasping Loki's hands in his. "I'm afraid today is more about business and pleasure. Having a slight business meeting over dinner to discuss what to do with that newly acquired property."

Loki was frowning at first, he hated dinner business meetings, all the people En dealt with always ignored him and tried to get him to leave the table and make snide remarks towards him no matter how much En would tell them to stop. But his face brightened with interest at the mention of the property En Dwi had finally managed to get... but still had no plans on what to do with it. So Loki asked again, "Do you finally have an idea of what to do with it?"

"Nope!" He said far too cheerfully, "that's what the meeting is going to be about. They're going to throw their ideas at me and I am going to turn down everyone of them."

Loki laughed and said, "We should just spend the night are our own then."

En Dwi smiled warmly at that when he realized that Loki truly meant it. He had noticed over the past week that there was a change in Loki that was as surprising as it was pleasing. Not only was Loki wanting to spend more time with him but he seemed much happier then he had in the longest time, genuinely happy, and En was pleased by that. It felt like he truly had Loki back, perhaps Loki had merely been too bored.

**** 

Loki was bored. They were sitting at a private table at the corner of the restaurant and Loki had lost track of all the ideas these idiots were throwing at En Dwi from a new office building, a new business venture, a storage space, and a fucking shop. These idiots have worked with En Dwi for years and they truly thought he'd be interested in any of those idiots. They also kept throwing glares at him because for every idea Loki heard he would scoff and huff which amused En Dwi and drawing his attention away from them. It was clear they wanted this dinner to revolve around  _business_ and they thought that En Dwi was focusing too much on his little toy.

"Mr. Gast, could you please focus on the matter of the meeting, sir." One of the men asked somewhat boldly but squirmed underneath the scrutiny of En's gaze.

"What is it about again? That new piece of property I purchased right?" En Dwi asked and when they all nodded he said, "Well then, I don't see what concern it is with any of you what I choose to do with it. I certainly won't do any of those boring or terrible ideas you have all been throwing about. This is turning out to be quite a waste of a good dinner."

"I couldn't agree more." Loki muttered and received a few more glares he expertly ignored.

"We'll leave in a minute Loki, my sweet, after dessert that is." En said patting Loki's thigh fondly.

"In that case," Loki said as he patted En's hand before making to stand, "I'll just head to the restroom real quick so we can leave soon after dessert."

En Dwi smiled after him and pointedly ignored all the other men. 

Loki entered the restroom and had made to head to one of the stalls, only for his eyes to widen and to step back against the wall in surprise. Thor was right there, his hair pulled back and dressed as a bathroom attendant and offering another man a warm towel and mint, his eyes widening as they too landed on Loki.

 _You have got to be fucking kidding me_ , Loki thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know who's going to be endgame anymore as I continue writing this, I'm leaning towards both pairs but only one can prevail. I means there's another option but I won't go there... I don't think. I don't know where this is going anymore so we're all on a loop here, haha


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept rewriting and rewriting the scene of Thor and Loki talking in the bathroom over and over again until I was satisfied with the whole thing. It was a little difficult since I have to keep putting into my mind the whole cheating thing that's going on but hopefully it's good, I'm really liking how this is coming out even if it revolves around cheating which I frown upon and hopefully everyone who reads it is also liking it :)

The man left the restroom and Loki immediately gave Thor a fierce glare before stepping into a stall and locking it behind him. He was just going to ignore him, pretend he never saw him, and not fuck this up again. He was in a good place with En again and he was happy. Thor was just a drunken, one nightstand, mistake and it would do him good to remember that. It was when he was washing his hands that Thor spoke.

"Loki-"

"No!" Loki whirled around and pointed a wet finger fiercely in Thor's face, immediately forgetting his plan to ignore him. "Do not talk to me."

"Look I just-"

Loki gave a frustrated groan and snarled, "What are you even doing here?"

"Favor to my friend. He's the head chef here and the manager and one of his guys couldn't come in today so he asked me to stand around in the men's restroom all day."

"How nice for you." Loki snapped and turned to leave.

"No, wait." He heard Thor say and footsteps behind him and Loki turned and hissed at Thor who put his hands up, "I won't touch you, I'm not allowed to touch the diners."

"You should have kept to yourself much earlier." 

Thor stared at him closely and Loki raised an eyebrow when he saw worry in his eyes and Thor struggling to say something. "I... you, I mean.. I-I didn't _hurt_ you, did I?"

"What? No. Wait, you're not asking if I think you assaulted me, are you?" At Thor's stiff nod Loki scoffed. "No, I don't think that. If you remember  _I_ was the one who told you to fuck me, I basically demanded it."

"But your face, after..."

"I had sobered up by then!" Loki snapped, he really didn't want to have this conversation. "I realized that you weren't my boyfriend and I was feeling regret and shame!"

"Then why did you jump on me, you made it clear you weren't interested-"

"I'm still not! I was drunk and clearly I'm still the slut that _he_ always insisted I was back then!" Loki closed his mouth with an audible snap, his eyes widening as he realized his mistake.  _Fuck_. Thor's eyes, however, had hardened.

"Who calls you a slut? Gast? Back when? What are you talking about? " Thor demanded and he was surprised by his own anger.

"No!" Loki shouted, but Thor noticed he had gone a little pale, but he also looked distressed by the thought of Thor accusing Gast. "En Dwi would never, he saved me, he's been kind to me since the beginning, he's never called me names, unlike  _some_ people and this is none of your business, you have no right to ask me any of that! " And here Loki gave Thor a pointed glare.

" I didn't mean any of what I told you that day! I was angry by what you said but that's no excuse.  I truly don't think you're a gold digger and I'm sorry and I'm just concerned." Thor muttered.

Loki sneered, "I don't care for your apologies or your concern, it has nothing to do with you. Just pretend that what happened in that restroom never happened, forget I said anything here, and leave me alone."

"But-"

"No, no buts. En has been good to me and I won't betray him again or hurt him in anyway so just stop, whatever it is you've been doing stop. I owe him too much to hurt him." Loki demanded and, ignoring the look Thor was giving him, Loki made to leave again but stopped when he heard Thor ask, "Who's called you a slut though, you don't actually believe you are, do you? And are you only with Gast because you feel like you _owe_ him?"

Loki whirled around and gritted out angrily through clenched teeth, "What part of it doesn't concern you do you not understand? It doesn't matter who's called me that or if I believe it or why you think I'm with En Dwi! The important part in all this is that I have a boyfriend and I need you to leave me alone!"

"Do you love him?" Thor asked and Loki simply froze. That was the thing wasn't it? He did love him, but not the kind if love Thor was asking or that En Dwi deserved. Loki knew that but Thor had no right asking him that and he stared at him with so much hatred and regret. Why the fuck did this asshole have to appear in his life now of all times and why the fuck was Loki even giving him this much of his attention? To let him get this deep into his head? What was wrong with him?

Loki turned on his heel and walked away, ignoring Thor calling out to him and flipping him off before slamming the door shut behind him.

 

****

Thor was  _frustrated_. Why was it that every time he somehow managed to magically run into Loki he just kept being drawn to him more and more? What was wrong with him? He knew nothing of Loki and yet, somehow, he was growing to care for him, to want to know more about him. And he felt that there was some sort of a connection there that could blossom into something more if Loki would just allow it. Gods he was the worst, he was still wanting to start something with a guy that was in a relationship and has already told him several times to leave him alone. Problem is... Thor got the sense Loki didn't really mean it. It was clear he didn't want to cheat on En Dwi Gast, that he didn't want to hurt him. But Thor had also gotten the sense that Loki was with Gast out of obligation and not love and he had basically proved that by what he said and the fact that he had never answered his question. The  again he had no reason to have even asked Loki that in the first place, that he could admit.

And there was that slut comment Loki made, and seemed to truly believe. Thor felt there was a story behind that somewhere and he had the sense he wouldn't like it. Not because he would become disgusted by Loki, but by the look on his face it was not something he liked yo dwell on. Gast may not have been the one to put the thought in Loki's mind, but someone had and Thor felt Gast was connected somehow. In a way Loki himself may not realize.

Either that or he was simply delusional and simply wanted any excuse to think about Loki. To think there was a reason to justify him trying to get Loki and  _steal_ him away from Gast. He wished they were able to get to know each other before the older man got to Loki, he'd love to learn things about Loki but there was no chance of that now. He had to snap out of this fixation with Loki, it would never lead to anything but more heartbreak and Loki didnt want him, no matter how much Thor thought, or hoped, that he did.

****

As soon as they get back to the condo Loki changes into more comfortable clothes and goes to sit outside on the small patio while En Dwi looks through some leases and who owes him what. Talking to Thor, that tiny slip Loki had uttered, it had brought back memories Loki had tried hard to bury and thought he had successfully done so. It was a dark part of his life he had somehow got sucked into and then stuck with no way out.

He curled up in a ball, hugging his knees to him and resting his chin on his knees as the wind played with his hair. The memories came in full force. Bodies dancing along poles. The smell of spilled and cheap beer, of smoke, and the loud shouts of men and the occasional woman. The sticky surfaces that Loki could never tell what the cause was. The hand wrapped threateningly around his slim throat, promising him death if he didn't obey. The hands on his body and the nameless people seeking their pleasure on him. And him allowing them to, he had no choice, he would have been killed. They had paid his boss good money, not for a private show or lap dance, Loki couldn't handle that. No, they wanted to fuck him so they paid and he reluctantly let them, stopped fighting.

Loki pulled at his hair roughly and took deep calming breaths. Even after all this time, after he was saved, he still felt dirty and used. 

Loki knew full well he'd still be there too if it weren't for En Dwi, who had struck up a conversation at some bachelor party Loki barely remembered. At first he had thought he was interested in fucking him like most people that approached him at bachelor or bachelorette parties. He was prepared to tell him he had to contact his boss and then hand him the number. Instead En Dwi had talked to him, asked about him. Next thing he knew he paid off Loki's debt and he was freed and all he's had asked from Loki was to stay at his place until he got back on his feet. He hadn't even expected sex from Loki, not unless Loki had truly wanted it. He saved him and he owed him his life, and he was willing to give it to him, he just still couldn't give him his heart. And then he went and did what he did with Thor and he's doing his best to keep it hidden from him. But he will try to give En Dwi his heart, fully give it to him, nothing and no one else mattered. He owed En Dwi too much.

But there was still that lingering thought that made him want to know more about Thor, to maybe find out that there was more to that selfish brute. But that was just the slut in him hoping. Loki laughed bitterly at the thought. For those three years that Loki was stuck in that club that asshole of a boss had spent the entire time trying to make Loki into the perfect little slut. To convince Loki that that's all he was and ever would be and Loki had fought him at every step. It seems though that his boss had won though. Loki may no longer be under his hands, but he still won.

Why else would he ignore a good man? Why else would his heart keep refusing to love him like he should? Why else would Thor have gotten  under his skin or why he had sex with him in a restroom? What other reason was there other then he truly was the slut  _he_ had always insisted he was and claimed to care about.

A sob escaped from Loki's throat before he could hold it back and Loki hated himself for it. He was truly pathetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I realize that even though I have charming Thor as a tag he's been anything but that but I promise real soon charming Thor will be appearing, you know as charming as someone who's pursuing someone already in a relationship can be :)


	10. Chapter 10

Thor decided he wasn't going to give up. At least on his desire to get to know Loki better. He wasn't sure it would lead anywhere, honestly at this point he would just like to get to know him and find out if he liked Loki for Loki or just his looks, he didn't want to be shallow. But there was also just a part of him that wanted Loki not to hate him and... he had to know if Loki had feelings for him. If not he'd leave him alone in that relationship he was so determined to stay on but that Thor believed there was no real love, but if he did well he'll see what will happen.

Maybe he was a terrible guy, he never really pursued anyone who was already taken, and he never strayed when he was in one. But there was something about Loki, something that told him he wasn't really happy, that he was in it for the wrong reasons. Hell, he probably wasn't right for Loki either, but if it made Loki realize something it would be worth it. Right? Thor sighed as he climbed into his car to head to work. Truth was, if he did grow to love Loki and he still didn't want anything to do with him it would break him, he could tell already that it would.

Thor let out a bitter laugh. Then again maybe that's exactly what he deserved if he started anything with Loki further then just trying to befriend him. He'll just have to wait and see what the fates had in store for him.

****

It's been a few weeks since En Dwi had bought that property and he had finally decided what to do with it. He had confessed to Loki that he was planning on making the hugest entertainment center anyone has ever seen. Loki, like Topaz and many of En Dwi's investors and lawyers, had looked confused and slightly unimpressed. Until he saw En's plans for it and even with him limited knowledge on business and whatnot he had to agree that it seemed like a really good idea. It wasn't going to be some movie theater or arcade or something simple and boring like that, En's words, no it was going to be bigger then that. It was going to have everything. From games, competitions. dances, raves, concerts, they would rent it out for parties or events, the food and drinks will be some of the best, it would  _scream_ party 24/7. 

Loki had balked when he noticed there would be a few poles but En Dwi had told him it just be for some pole dancing but the dancers would all be completely clothed and stay that way, it would be tasteful. So Loki swallowed back the bile he felt in the back of his throat and gave him an approving nod. As much as En Dwi knew how much Loki hated to be reminded of his past Loki also knew he could never put aside his love for dances similar to what Loki had done. Though it was never the kind Loki had had to get used to, since now people pole danced for fun or exercise, it still bothered him and brought those memories. En was usually understanding to things like this, but watching others pole dancing was the one thing he would not give up for Loki.

It hurt, but Loki had to learn to get over it.

So with En Dwi finally decided on what he wanted the building for it was to start in another week after they interviewed a few more contractors and set up the contracts and everything else. En wanted to celebrate by having an intimate dinner at the condo, just him and Loki. Loki was more then glad to hear that, he wasn't in the mood to go out. It got a little lonely when the only person you knew was your boyfriend and everyone wanted to talk to him and him only. So for the dinner En Dwi would be having the usual private chefs prepare the appetizers and dinner itself, but he wanted Loki to do the dessert. Loki still went to the cooking classes and baking and his desserts had quickly grown to become his favorite and where he excelled at. Although his desserts weren't as well put together as he would like they were delicious and he was spoiling En with them. So he agreed.

He spent a couple of days online trying to find the perfect thing to make for their dinner. He was going to make some mixed berries and vanilla bean cream tarts and also some blueberry and lemon macaroons, just to show off a bit. En insisted it be a surprise, so Loki just gave him a quick peck on the cheek and headed off to buy the necessary ingredients to start them the next day while En Dwi was away at work. He got nearly everything he wanted to at the grocery store but for the vanilla bean, the lemons, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries he wanted to get them at the farmer's market where they would be much fresher.

It always was a lovely trip, going to the farmer's markets. Loki had always enjoyed it even before he started learning how to cook. He used to come here just for the food they will sell here so it was nice looking at ingredients now. It was also one of the few places En Dwi didn't own so they treated him just like everyone else which was incredibly refreshing. And it would have been a perfect outing to the farmer's market if Loki hadn't caught sight of a terribly familiar broad shouldered blonde working behind the stand where he needed to get the vanilla bean. Loki sighed, exasperated. Well, he needed the vanilla bean.

Loki headed over and wasn't even surprised by the fact that it will be Thor, of all people working this stand, to be the one to attend to him.

"Hey there, what can I get you?" Thor said with a huge and friendly smile on his face. Loki eyed him warily, he wasn't sure what he was expecting but he was expecting something. Maybe for him to try another talk with him, ask him about that night or his feelings towards En Dwi, or about what he let slip the last time they spoke weeks ago. Either way he expects something unpleasant that will leave him storming off with a huff.

But Thor just keeps staring at him with that smile so Loki reluctantly says, "I need a handful of vanilla beans."

"Making something good?" Thor asks as he turns to get what Loki asked for.

"It's for some custard tarts." Loki replied and took out some of the money En had given him so he could be ready to pay for the vanilla beans.

"That sounds fancy," Thor commented as he placed the handful of vanilla beans in a bag, "I didn't realize you could cook." Loki paid for the vanilla beans and when Thor handed them over he placed them in the basket he had brought with him.

"I couldn't, but then the conversation came up and En suggested I take lessons to occupy my time but also since he saw how much it bugged me that I couldn't make anything on my own. I'm a little better at baking though." Loki said and smiled, he wasn't sure why he was smiling but he felt like it. Maybe it was a little pride at admitting he was good at something that didn't involve anyone else. Besides En's money of course.

Thor smiled back even brighter and said, "Well, I hope your tarts come out as good as you have planned." He then turned to help a woman besides Loki and he stood there momentarily shocked before he had the good sense to walk away. He bought himself some kettle corn before he headed back to the car.  _Well, that didn't go how I expected it to,_ Loki thought to himself as he placed the kettle corn beside him and started the car. This was his first really decent interaction he had with Thor and that was surprising. Loki just shrugged the thought away.

**** 

En Dwi was really excited to leave work and head home already. He knew Loki was, at this moment, working on the desserts for their dinner later tonight and he really wanted to watch Loki finishing up. But Topaz wouldn't let him leave until they finished looking through the contracts with the contractors and builders they had hired. Which he thought was unnecessary, Topaz could handle this all on her own, but they did need his signature and they needed to be handed in the next morning and he had already told Topaz she was not to interrupt him and Loki tonight so he had to do this now.

Once Topaz was satisfied that he had properly reviewed the contracts he went ahead and signed them all and left. He stopped to pick up some wine on the way and when he gets back he finds the private chefs standing outside the kitchen, apparently Loki had banished them from the kitchen and refuses to let them in until he's done. En Dwi smiles gleefully at that. He knocks on the swinging door of the kitchen softly with his knuckles.

"I said not yet! I'm not done with the kitchen!" Comes Loki's fierce shout.

"Loki my love, it's me, may I come in?" En Dwi calls out in a calm voice.

"No! I'm not done, go away!" Loki shouts again and he hears him banging something around in there. En laughs, tells the chefs to just wait a few more minutes and goes to the living room to wait for Loki to be done and come out.

It's a couple more minutes before Loki finally exits the kitchen and allows the private chefs to go in and start on their dinner. He's still wearing his black apron and En Dwi can see specks of flour over it. "Done with the desserts, love?" En asks and holds his hand out for Loki to grab. He does and allows himself to be dragged down onto the couch.

"I did, and they should be good..." Loki mutters and En places a hand on the side of his face and brings it down so that it rests on his shoulder gently.

"I'm sure it'll taste wonderful, Loki, they always do." En reassured him.

"Yes, well," Loki pulls back from En Dwi and stands up, "I should clean myself up a bit, I'm a mess."

"Should I join you?" En Dwi asks with a salacious smile on his face, his hands reaching for Loki's hips.

Loki tuts at him and steps out of his reach with a teasing smile and says, "Now none of that, we have plenty of time for that later."

"I'm holding you to that." En calls out towards Loki's retreating figure.

"I'm sure you will." Loki calls back and En laughs, today was another wonderful day. His phone rings and he pulls it out of his jacket pocket and his face falls into a grimace and his eyes narrow with dislike as he answers.

"Yes?"

_"I have not received this month's payment, En Dwi Gast. Don't tell me you've forgotten about it?"_

En hisses and says, "I have not, and there's no need to call me. You know perfectly well I'm good for the money and I would not risk it. I'll be stopping by tomorrow to give it all to you in cash, does that satisfy you, Thanos?"

He hears the distasteful laugh before he answers,  _"Yes of course. But you can't blame me for checking. Loki was my very favorite and should you ever grow bored of him, En Dwi Gast, I would love to have him back. He was a customer favorite as well and I never got a taste of him before you bought him and took him away from me."_

"And you'll never have a taste of him, I love Loki and I'm very fond of him and I have no intention of losing him to you, or anyone else. You'll have your money tomorrow, for now I'd like to hang up. We're celebrating tonight and I don't want this evening ruined." En snapped.

Thanos laughed again,  _"Of course, En Dwi Gast, do enjoy yourselves."_ The mad man then hung up and En Dwi shoved his phone angrily back into his jacket pocket and cursed. Thanos knew better then to call him when he was not at work, he couldn't risk Loki finding out how he really got him out of Thanos's hands and freed him from the strip club. He had originally told Loki that he had paid of his debt with the mad man, but the truth was that there was no debt. Thanos had never planned on letting Loki go, no matter how much Loki managed to save. He had always planned on keeping Loki there and he had planned on making Loki his one of these days. In fact, if En Dwi hadn't gotten him out of there when he did he would have been raped by Thanos.

And he couldn't let that happen, he saw how unhappy, lost, broken, and empty the boy looked there. And he was so beautiful, he wanted him all for his own. So he had approached the mad man and when it was made clear there was no debt to be paid of En did the next best thing, he offered to pay a large sum of money every month for as long as either Thanos, Loki, or himself lived. This would allow him to take Loki away from the strip club and free him from having to work there or for his services to be called upon. They had bargained over how much he would pay and once they had settled on the number Thanos had reluctantly let Loki go.

Now En Dwi didn't  _want_ to pay for Loki to sleep with him, he never paid for sex. He certainly wanted to but he wanted Loki to want to. Which is why he told Loki what he did, which is why he said he didn't have to do anything to please him to pay him back. He did it because it was the truth but he had also hoped to pull at Loki's feeling of gratitude to make him stay. Had Loki have left that very night he would have continued paying Thanos monthly so Loki would continue having his freedom. But he also hoped he would stay. And stay Loki did and they had slept together, not that night, but eventually. And it was only when Loki had insisted that he wanted to, that it was completely consensual. And now Loki was his young lover and they were together and they were happy.

It still wouldn't change the fact that Loki was essentially bought and sold and should he ever find out Loki would feel betrayed.

Which is why he's told Thanos several times never to call him. The money wasn't even due until tomorrow. En Dwi might have gotten into the habit of paying him earlier, but he had been a bit busy at work. But he had always planned on going tomorrow. He needed to settle down before Loki came back and picked up on his sour mood. He poured himself a shot of brandy and played some music. By the time Loki was back En was completely at ease once again.

****

After they had finished eating their dinner Loki had gone to the kitchen and brought out the custard tarts and macaroons, he also had the chefs serve En Dwi and himself some ice cream and brought that out as well and set it down in front of En with a satisfied smile and his hands on his hips. He had decorated the tarts with the mixed berries and some edible gold flakes, he also put the gold flakes on the macaroons. He was proud at how they looked, En Dwi could see that, his real worry was always if it tasted as good as it looked.

En grabbed one of the tarts and took a huge bite of it and shut his eyes and let out a content moan. Loki eyed him carefully with keen and wide green eyes as En continued chewing. Once he opened his eyes they were shining with mirth.

"Oh that is delicious Loki."

"Really?" Loki asked and grabbed a tart himself and took a bite of it as En started on the macaroons. Loki seemed satisfied and they finished the dessert along with their ice cream. Once they're done with that En gets the wine he bought and serve Loki and himself some and watch a movie together before they head off to bed.

Loki was expecting En to take him, he had certainly seemed in the mood earlier. But now he seems content with only snuggling, claiming he's too full from all the delicious food. Loki merely shrugs and lets En pull him close and falls asleep with his head tucked under En's chin.

When Loki wakes up in the morning he finds that he's still curled up close to En, who's still sleeping, and he pulls away so he can stretch. He let's out a little groan when he does and let's his limbs collapse back on the bed. He has another cooking class today that he's looking forward to, but it's not until late afternoon so he has most of the morning to and day to kill. Perhaps he'll spend some time with En at his office, sometimes he let's him help him plan stuff and, unlike Topaz, he actually listens. And with that new entertainment center he might be open to some new ideas. He decides to go ahead and take a shower and ask En Dwi if he can tag along when he wakes up.

He's just rinsed off some of his shampoo from his hair when he hears the shower curtain draw back and feels an arm wrap around his waist and a hand wrap around his cock. Loki let's out a gasp as his cock is stroked to hardness, the thumb circling around his head. Loki let's out a high pitched whine and he feels a chuckle against his neck and then lips pressing onto the back of it.

"Good morning my sweet." En Dwi sing songs as he tugs on Loki's cock again.

"Gah!" Is all Loki manages to get out as En strokes him a couple more times and soon he's crying out as he comes against the shower wall, shivering in the aftermath and leaning his forehead against the shower wall and taking breaths as water continues to run down his back. He feels En massaging his shoulders before his hands trail down to massage the globes of Loki's ass, causing him to let out a pleased moan.

"I thought you were too tired." Loki mutters and yelps and he feels a sharp smack on his bare and wet ass and then En laughing.

"I was last night, and although I'd love to have you right now, I have an important meeting this morning I can't miss."

"Do you mind if I come with you?" Loki asked as he looked over his shoulder, the water now running down over his hair and face and he's surprised to see him looking awkward.

"Uh, no, no. I don't think that'll be a good idea." En says evasively and grabs his own shampoo to wash his hair. Loki frowns but says nothing. Instead he grabs the loofah and En's body wash and adds a drop of it to the loofah, holds it under the water for a while, and then rubs it over En Dwi's body, working in into a lather. He lets out a satisfied noise and let's Loki wash him. Loki does so and he notices how much softer En's stomach is becoming, not because he's getting fat, but because he no longer focuses on his stomach when he exercises. it takes Loki a while to realize it bothers him, and then he feels shallow that something like that would bother him. Then again he never thought he'd be with an older man and even before En it was mostly older men he was stuck with.

Loki shook the thought away and moved to wash En's cock and then his sack before moving down to his thighs and legs. He vaguely thought of giving him a blowjob, En loved that, but... he wasn't in the mood. He finished washing him and once En rinsed all the soap off Loki did give him a hand job that he enjoyed immensely and had him promising to give Loki more attention later tonight. He then stepped out of the shower and quickly dried himself off and got ready for work while Loki finished washing off.

En Dwi called out a goodbye and then he was gone. Loki dressed and decided to go online, maybe there were other classes he could take.

Just an hour before his cooking class was to start Loki packed up some macaroons and carefully placed a few of the left over custard tarts in a tupperware to take to his teachers to try, both of them were trying to convince him to seek out a career in at least desserts but Loki was still unsure. Either way he'd love to hear what they would think about these.

He arrived thirty minutes early, but he usually did so he decided to just go ahead and head inside, maybe get himself a drink from the vending machines. He was pulling out the custard tarts and macaroons and was shutting the car door when he spotted Thor, walking toward The Ark, no doubt for his shift. Loki turned away, he had no idea whether or not he wanted Thor to spot him and was considering just climbing back into his car when he heard Thor call out, "Loki? Hey! What are you doing here?" And then he was standing by the hood of Loki's car, closer to the passenger's side then the driver's.

Okay then.

"I've got a cooking class today. I'm a bit early but I don't mind." Loki shrugged and went ahead and put the alarm on his car, he was going to head inside the building.

"What's that?" Thor asked motioning towards the tarts and macaroons.

"Umm, some custard tarts and macaroons I made." And Loki wasn't sure why but he asked, "Do you want to try some?"

Thor's eyes lit up at that and he said, "Sure! I'd love to." He then came over by Loki, but not too close, and waited for Loki to remove the lip of the tupperware and reached for one of the pretty looking tarts. He chewed it slowly, savoring the taste, and he was aware of Loki's eyes just boring into his face as if he was trying to figure out what Thor thought. Thor swallowed and then he shoved the rest of the tart into his mouth, much to Loki's bewilderment.

"That is really good." Thor said with a huge smile and helped himself to another tart.

"Really?" Loki asked a bit self consciously but also pleased. Thor nodded.

"Yeah. There's like a homey and subtle sweetness from the vanilla bean and a combination of sweetness and tartness and brightness from the berries. And the pastry isn't too dry, which I really like. These are fancy looking things but they're good." 

Loki beamed at him and offered him the bag of the blueberry and lemon macaroons. "Would you like to try these too? They're blueberry and lemon."

"Sure." Thor reached in and grabbed one and stared at the bright blue of the macaroons and the bright yellow of what must be the lemon filling. He popped the whole thing in his mouth and was enveloped by the tang of the lemon and blueberry as well as the sweetness. It was good but...

"Please don't take offense, but I liked the tarts better."

To his surprise Loki merely laughed and nodded before saying, "I know. Macaroons aren't really my thing either, they're always a bit too dry for my taste, but their fancy looking and difficult to make so I like to make them just to show off."

"The lemon filling was really good though." Thor still felt the need to assure Loki that both his desserts were good.

"Thank you Thor. Would you like to take the rest of the custard tarts? I can give the macaroons to my teachers, they'll like it better then both of us." And Loki actually smiled at him.

"I'd love to," and Thor took the tupperware still filled with a few tarts, "and I would love to keep you company but I'm probably already a few minutes late for my shift so.." And both Thor and Loki laughed before they said their goodbyes. Loki watched Thor go for a while before heading inside with his bag of macaroons to wait for his class to start.

****

En Dwi frowned as they drove up to the strip club Thanos owned. He couldn't remember the name of it and the sign was so badly damaged you couldn't even read it. He hated coming here every month, but he had to, in order to keep Loki from being brought forcibly back here. Topaz told the driver to wait for them and she and En Dwi both climbed out and stepped into the club. It was already quite busy but En and Topaz were quickly directed to a private room to wait for Thanos by one of his "children". He was glad that this room was at least clean as he took a seat.

After a few minutes Thanos walked in with a cruel smile.

"En Dwi Gast, it's good to see you again." Thanos let out through a forced smile and En smiled with narrowed eyes up at him. He knew the mad man hated him for having the money and power to take Loki away. Not to mention that he was one of the few people Thanos couldn't touch and he did not like that.

En waved a hand at Topaz and she pulled an envelope out and placed it on the table and slid it across to Thanos who caught it, opened it, and started to count it. He nodded his head to indicate that it was all there and scowled while En smiled, Loki was still his.

"Well," En Dwi said as he stood up and made for the door, "this was fun but I really must be going now."

"Yes, well, until next time Gast. Please do take care of Loki, he was and still is one of my favorite children." Thanos said but made no move to stop the older man from leaving.

En just waved a dismissing hand at him and said, "Until next month."

He would make sure that Loki never fell into the hands of Thanos ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was watching The Great British Bake Off when I was writing this chapter so that's why I had Loki make those fancy desserts. I can assure you the fanciest thing I ate was one of those chocolate cakes from Olive Garden.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this chapter is probably sloppily written but I like it and I like where it's going, I've been in such a huge mind block when it came to this fic and several times I thought of deleting it. But I liked the idea too much and I wanted to continue and glad I did because NOW I got my groove back. Enjoy :)

Loki knew what Thor was doing, he wasn't an idiot. Thor was trying a different approach, one were he focused more on getting to know him instead of getting into his pants, which he technically already did. Funny thing was though that he didn't really mind. It wasn't like before when Thor kept popping up  _everywhere_. No, this time the only time he saw Thor was the few times he went to the farmer's market and he was working at that one stand where he sometimes got some stuff, apparently one of Thor's friends ran that stand and she sometimes had Thor or other friends help her out. Or outside the building where he had his cooking lessons and Thor was passing by to get to The Ark for his shifts. 

Those were the only times they ran into each other and they had started having small conversations together. Most of the time it revolved around what Loki had learned that day, sometimes he ran into Thor after classes, or what was the latest thing he had made. Sometimes Thor would tell him about something crazy or funny that happened at work. Then they started talking more about themselves. Loki doesn't tell him, nor does he plan to, about his working at a strip club for three years and how that was how he meant En Dwi. Or anything from his past really. He told him about the few places En Dwi had first taken him, or how he was planning on taking maybe more classes and how he sometimes got bored really easily. 

Thor told him about how he was supposed to join his father's law firm but couldn't see himself sitting at a desk all his life so he changed his major. How he started bar tending because that was the only job he could find but he grew to enjoy it. At least the part where you had friendly conversations with people, dealing with drunks was always annoying. He told him about his friends and that was when Loki realized why he probably enjoyed talking to Thor so much.

He didn't have friends, he never really did. No one spoke to him really because everyone knew him as En Dwi Gast's boyfriend and just assumed he was a gold digging jerk. The only one he spent time with was En and Topaz, no one his own age, or close to it, Thor was only five years older then him, and he was missing the connection of spending time with people his age. That was it. It was nothing stupid like him starting to like Thor as more then that, he had already decided  _not_ to fall for Thor. That one night stand would be their one and only time. 

It might be a mistake doing this, letting Thor get close to him, but it was nice getting to know Thor like this and he really hoped neither of them ruined it, or that Thor would have some ulterior motive that would just ruin everything. Loki really needed a friend and he thought maybe Thor could be that, and that's all he wanted. 

****

En Dwi was kept busy these past few days and odds were he'd still be busy for another month or two. Not only was he overseeing the building of his new entertainment center nearly everyday to make sure everything was going according to plan, he was also still planning what was going inside and where. As well as looking for who's services to hire and just how big they could make the rooms and whatnot. He occasionally invited Loki over to ask for his opinions, but otherwise Loki was left alone as he usually was. He didn't always mind but sometimes it was nice to be by En Dwi's side, if not just to not be on his own.

It was because of this that he was looking forward to his and Thor's little chats just before his cooking classes or after, depending if Thor was in his way to work or had just gotten off. Loki usually brought some of his desserts out for Thor to taste, he always felt a warmth inside him when Thor actually liked them. En liked them too, but Loki could tell he only said that so he wouldn't feel bad. Thor would tell him if something wasn't good, though, and then they'd laugh about it. Thor sometimes also brought iced coffees that they apparently served at The Ark but no one knew about them, they were really good.

Loki had just finished his class, they were learning the basics on how to make a souffle but they wouldn't actually make them until the next class meeting, and he saw Thor leaning against the hood of his car, holding out an iced coffee for Loki.

Loki took it and, with mock sadness, said, "I'm afraid no desserts tonight, just note taking for next time." And took a sip, he could taste hazelnut.

"Better luck next time I suppose." Thor chuckled and Loki leaned against the car's hood also, keeping a good distance between him and Thor so they wouldn't accidentally brush up against each other. Thor ignored the small twinge of regret when he noticed but then reminded himself that being a friend to Loki was good enough, especially when it opened him up to see a side of Loki he didn't think anyone knew of, except maybe his boyfriend.

He had discovered that under the snarky and cold exterior was just someone who was quite insecure, lonely, and seemed generally lost. But there was also a childlike wonder in Loki that made Thor think that he might have grown up too fast. He also had a bit of a mischievous side that he had already learned to look out for. But besides that he mostly got the huge impression that Loki was thirsty for more knowledge, he could see a gleam in Loki's eyes whenever he was heading to his cooking classes or coming back and he saw a hunger for more. It was clear Loki tend to spend most of the day bored, which is what led Thor to ask his next question.

"Why don't you have a job? I mean you probably don't really need one but wouldn't one help you from being bored so much?"

Loki just shrugged and said, "I don't really have any experience working anywhere and if I get the job it'll only be because En Dwi owns the place. I don't want to be given a job just for that."

Thor thought about it and nodded his head, it made sense. Loki seemed like the type of guy that didn't like to be giving handouts or have pity taken on him, he told Thor her didn't enjoy spending Gast's money and did his best not to. But...

"Haven't you at least worked one job before you meet Gast? Like a teenager gig or something?" Thor asked. He watched as Loki stiffened slightly, the way he cleared his face into a blank mask, and then straightened up.

"I've got to go. Thanks for the drink, I'll make it up to you." Loki threw away the cup that still had some coffee in it and walked towards the door, ignoring Thor as he climbed in. 

"Loki-?"

"Get up, if you fall it'll be your fault for leaning against my car."

Thor got up because driving off while he was leaning against his car sounded exactly like something Loki would do. 

He watched him drive off, his eyebrows knitting together. Did he say something wrong? Thor simply put his hands in his pocket and made his way home. It'll be better not to over think it too much, it'll just piss Loki off if he asked him about it the next time they met up for their little chats. 

Maybe Loki really never had a job before and he was embarrassed by it. That and with his dating an older and rich man like Gast would make it look more like he was just in it for the money. All right then. Thor wouldn't ask about jobs again. 

****

"It took me a while but I finally dug up some info on that bartender." Topaz said as a greeting as she walked into En Dwi's office. 

"What bartender?" He asked distractedly.

"One of the bartenders from your party. The one who had accosted Loki and you asked me to dig up info on him."

"Ah, yes! Now I remember! Oh dear, I meant to ask Loki about that but completely forgot. Well tell me what you found out and after I speak with Loki I'll see if we have to do something about that bartender." En leaned back on his chair clasping his hands in front of him as he waited for Topaz to speak.

She rolled her eyes but began, "All right, his name is Victor and he's thirty-two. He doesn't work at any of the bars or clubs you own, I have no idea how he got hired to work your party."

"Where does he work then?" En asked with a frown?

"The place you call a trash heap."

"Ah. Right. Continue, Topaz." He said with an impatient wave of his hand.

"Yes, well, it took a while but I discovered he used to be quite a regular over at Thanos's club... back when Loki used to work there." En Dwi sat up straighter but didn't interrupt. "He was apparently quite fond of Loki and tried several times to buy Loki for the night. Now, Thanos wasn't lying when he said Loki was his favorite and he charged a lot for people to have him, too much for a bartender to afford. He stopped going to the club once Loki left."

En Dwi rubbed at his chin as he thought this over and then asked, "He hasn't been near Loki since or before, has he?"

"He doesn't even live here, in this town I mean." Topaz informed him and handed the folder filled with information to En Dwi who took it and looked over it carefully.

He groaned as he sat back and ran a hand tiredly through his hair. "Time to make another call to that bastard Thanos then."

"You think he sent him?"

"Wouldn't be the first time he's sent someone to spy on Loki and catch him off guard. Although I suspect this Victor was too distracted by his own lust to do a good job of it, no doubt he's paid for it. Still, I'll speak with Loki first before I call Thanos. This goes completely against the arrangement he and I agreed on and I am tired of it."

 "Why don't you just get rid of Thanos, you could easily do so." Topaz asked and En turned to give her an uncharacteristically stern glare.

"No," he said firmly, "I won't go back to killing, not unless I absolutely have no choice." He grabbed his coat and walked out, he needed to speak with Loki.

****

Loki had already started dinner when En Dwi got him. He was pushing his food around with the fork, leaning his chin against one of his hands before he noticed him and he straightened up.

"Oh, En. Sorry, I thought you might come back late again so I started without you." Loki apologized and En gave him a soft smile and sat down next to him, patting his arm fondly. Loki looked at him quizzically but said nothing.

En reached a hand out to push a strand of Loki's hair behind his ear and said, "I wanted to ask about that bartender you had a run it at my party a while back." He frowned when he noticed how tensed Loki became and how his eyes had widened in alarm for a moment before Loki schooled his features, he was... surprisingly good at that.

"What bartender?" Loki asked calmly and En felt the need to study Loki carefully. Yes, deep in his eyes he saw the stirring of dread in them, but why?

"One that had dark hair and piercings and who had you caged against a wall."

"Oh," Loki said, his expression lighting up and relief flooding through him before he appeared calm again, "What about him?"

"Did he say anything to you?"

Loki shrugged, it didn't really matter now, he hadn't seen him since. "He said he recognized me from the club, the, uh, strip club. Asked me for a special dance or if I would like to step into a more private room to have some 'fun' with him. It had unnerved me, having someone there who knew about  _that._ Nothing happened though, if that's what's concerning you, En."

"What did?" And here Loki was getting a little nervous again.

"One of the other bartenders saw what was happening and pulled him away. I made my way back to you after that. I would have mentioned it to you, if he had bothered me again, but he didn't. How did you find out about him?" Loki was definitely getting nervous now.

"Topaz," En Dwi said simply and he noticed the slight way Loki's fingers twitched, "she saw him caging you against the wall and then he was back at the bar and you by my side." He studied Loki some more, he seemed to be waiting for something, he was biting his bottom lip and oh he was dreading something. "Anyway," En said in a much cheerier voice, "doesn't matter. No harm was done. Now, let's eat together." He had called for someone to bring him a plate and they ate in silence. Now he had something else to look through.

****

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Loki kept thinking over and over in his mind. He had excused himself from dinner as soon as he was done and locked himself in the bathroom. He was currently pacing the length of it and running his fingers through his hair. That was too close, far too close. He had thought for sure that when En had mentioned his party and a bartender that he was talking about Thor, that he had somehow found out and he had panicked. It wasn't because he was afraid of En hurting him, he knew he wouldn't. But he didn't want to admit out loud what he had done, he didn't want to see the hurt look on his face.

Loki collapsed on the toilet in a miserable heap and rubbed at his closed eyelids. Fuck, maybe he should just confess to En, it'll hurt, but less if he found out some other way. If he just explained that he was drunk... maybe he wouldn't be so mad...? But no, Loki knew that wouldn't work.

Topaz had followed him back when Thor kept popping up everywhere and trying to talk to him, no doubt En Dwi knew everything about him. Add that with the fact that Loki was still seeing him, in public and rarely and they were just talking as something close to friends, it would look bad. Very bad. Loki groaned. He didn't want any of this to happen, but no doubt En was somewhat suspicious now. It wouldn't take him long to check the list of all the bartenders that had worked at his party and figure out Thor was there and somehow he'd find out that he had fucked him.

Loki should just tell him. But he didn't want to. He was a coward. And as much as he hated depending on En Dwi's money... the truth was he had no way of supporting himself. If En Dwi broke up with him, if he kicked him out, he might have to go back to T-Thanos.

Just thinking about that possibility made Loki want to throw up. No, he couldn't go back. He couldn't risk En Dwi finding out and getting rid of him, odds were he wouldn't but Loki still couldn't risk it. He couldn't see Thor anymore, not as friends, not as anything. He should have stopped all contact with him sooner. 

"Loki?" There was a knock on the door. Loki flushed the toilet and turned the water on and ran his hands under it and didn't dry them off completely before opening the door. "Everything okay?" En asked him and Loki smiled the brightest smile he could.

"Of course, so, what say you and I go somewhere tomorrow?"

"Oh? Like where, my sweet?" En asked playfully and Loki wrapped his arms around En's shoulders and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

"Surprise me." Loki said against his lips and kissed him again as he felt En's hands grip his waist tightly. Okay, so maybe Loki really was the manipulative whore Thanos had always tried to make him into, fine. But he wasn't going back, and if that made him a terrible person... then fine. He did what he did for survival. He couldn't afford to be happy, he never could.

****

En Dwi woke early the next morning and wasn't surprised to find Loki still deep asleep. Good. He put his robe on and made his way to his study to call Thanos. He drummed his fingers against his desk while he waited for him to answer, when he did he spat out, "You sent another lackey of yours to spy on Loki again."

That stupid laugh again.  _"I just wanted to make sure that Loki is still happy, if he wasn't I'd be more then happy to take him back with open arms."_ Was Thanos's usual excuse, En Dwi scoffed.

"You and I both know that is none of your business. Our  _arrangement_ was that I would pay you every month that allows Loki to be free from you and that excuse of a club of yours. You are also not allowed to spy on him or have others spy on him for you or in any way contact him or intimidate him into coming back on his own. Loki is to be free from you so long as I keep paying or one of the three of us dies! And you, Thanos, keep violating that agreement and I am losing my patience with you! Trust me, you don't need me as an enemy."

 _"And you don't need me as one, Gast!"_ Oh, so he was getting cocky now.  _"So what if I've been spying on him. I never wanted to hand him over to you but even I couldn't turn down your generous offer. Besides, I'm merely keeping an eye on him for you. I mean what if he ever decided to leave you? Wouldn't you like to know so you could get back at him by letting me take him from you?"_

"No, Thanos, I wouldn't. Loki is free to go if he pleases and I would still pay for that freedom, so you can simply stop having him followed already, he will never fall into your hands again."

_"I wonder if you really mean that?"_

"I do, now fuck off Thanos." And with that he hung up and quickly dialed another number and held his phone back to his ear. "Topaz, get me a list of all the bartenders that worked on my party and have Thor Odinson followed, I've got a slight hunch about something." He hung up again and made his way back to the bedroom.

Loki was still curled up on the bed, naked and on top of the blankets. His hands curled up near his face and his black hair billowing behind him and standing out against the light gold of the pillowcase. En Dwi climbed back onto the bed beside Loki and ran his fingers softly over Loki's jaw.

"You haven't betrayed me, have you Loki?" En Dwi muttered softly to himself and Loki let out a little huff of a breath before rolling onto his back.

Well, either way he'll find out soon. And he hopes Loki didn't, he's not sure what he'll do if he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Loki, honey... I gave you a chance to come clean on your own :(


	12. Chapter 12

Thor was in a slump and his friends had noticed and had invited him out for a night of fun. He had simply said yes as to not draw any suspicion. Neither of them knew about his pursuit of Loki Laufeyson, his one night stand with him when Loki had been drunk, or how they had seemed to be the closest thing to becoming friends until two weeks ago.

He wasn't sure what had happened but... after he had asked Loki about work and stuff he hadn't seen Loki at the farmer's market or even at the building where he had his cooking lessons anymore. He had been tempted several times to look for him somewhere else, but no. He had decided against that from the very beginning. They weren't anywhere near that, they were just two guys who spoke when they ran into each other in the few places they had reason to.

But it was killing him. Had he messed up again? He has been so sure everything was going good between them. He was a mess, but he was good at hiding it in public so no one suspected there was anything wrong with him. Well... maybe Fandral or Sif did but they didn't say a word about it. Maybe he'll just tell him some girl had stood him up if they asked, that had never happened before, with a man or woman, so they'll probably believe him if that had bothered him. Although they would joke it was just his ego that was hurting, and he'll let them believe that. 

Maybe this was a sign for him to just give up on Loki. Maybe this time he'll actually listen to it.

****

It's a good thing Loki had more or less unwittingly learned Thor's schedule, it made it extremely easy to avoid him, he had to now. But he also couldn't quit the cooking classes. For one, he loved them, but also, it would make En suspicious and he had to keep that from happening. So now he took the classes that started in the morning, not a big deal since he had plenty of time. He also only went to the farmer's market on Mondays and Thursdays when Thor and his friend weren't working at that stall. That's all he had to do really. He didn't have his number and they only ran into each other in those two places and if he spotted Thor somewhere else he'd avoid him like the plague. It hurt, Thor had been the closest to a friend he had, but it had to be done.

He could tell when En Dwi wasn't as suspicious of him anymore. When he was he would watch him carefully, ask him what his plans were, and call him several times a day. When he no longer was he brought him gifts, made the private chefs prepare his favorite foods, asked his for his opinions again when it came to his still being built entertainment center, and merely waved his hand with a bright smile when he told him what he had planned for the day or what he did.

He was in the clear.

He felt terrible about getting away with it, but also incredibly relieved. This was a lesson and he had managed to learn it in time, at least he hoped it did. He also felt a little bad about leaving Thor in the dark, but ,honestly, he should have done so a long time ago. Better late then never.

****

En Dwi  _had_ felt anger surge through him when he saw Thor Odinson's name on the list of bartenders that had worked at his party, he had half a mind to fire whoever had been in charged of the hiring of bartenders, they did not do a good job. Now all he could do was speculate what had happened. Loki had mentioned that it was another bartender that had pulled that Victor away from him, it could have been Odinson, but it could have been someone else. There were cameras at the party, they always did a video of the party for him, but it was a fun video, not a security video. So all the focus was on him, so even if he studied it carefully odds were he wouldn't see much of what might have happened between Loki and the two bartenders.

Then again... Loki did spend the majority of the party by his side so he probably was telling the truth that nothing had happened. Either way he would still have Odinson followed, he half suspected that Loki was well aware when he himself was being followed.

And so he did have him followed and there was nothing at all suspicious or concerning going on. Thor Odinson spent most of his days going to work either at The Ark, helping out with either a friend's restaurant or one of those stands at the farmer's market, bar tending at a private party, or sometimes as a personal trainer. When not working he was either with friends, running errands, at home, working out, or heading to the small college for the classes he was still taking. Not once was he ever seen around Loki, or if they were in the same general area they never approached one another or even gazed at each other.

Just in case En would call Loki and ask where he was after calling the man trailing Odinson to see where he was. Loki was usually at the cooking classes or somewhere else passing the time away, but nowhere where Odinson was. He even checked Loki's phone once when he was still sleeping to see if they were in contact. The only name Loki had saved under his contacts was his... Oh. He recognized other numbers as Topaz's, Loki's teachers at the cooking classes, and other numbers Loki had no reason to save. Only En's was saved to his contacts and he felt guilt and a little pity settle around him. He hadn't really noticed just how friendless and Loki seemed until he saw his phone. He looked through his messages and only saw messages from him or the occasional few from Topaz. He checked his emails and the only one Loki responded to was the ones he received about his cooking classes. 

En Dwi placed Loki's phone back on the bedside beside him and got ready for work.

As he continued to have Odinson followed for a few more days he was starting to think maybe his suspicions were unwarranted. Especially when he realized that Thor passed the building where Loki had his cooking classes and he never stopped, never met Loki there. Not even when Loki's car was parked there.

Perhaps he had overreacted? Perhaps he was being a little paranoid? But... then why had Loki seemed so nervous at the time? He'll pull back on the surveillance on Odinson but he would keep a closer eye on things.

****

 When En Dwi came back home Loki was lounging on the couch with the TV playing in the background and his eyes glued to a book. He still looked a bit gloomy but he also looked more like his old self. He wasn't sure anymore whether that was a good or bad thing. 

Loki has lost himself in his baking lately, almost like he wanted to distract himself from something. And it made him wonder again. Loki was smart, he no doubt realized that he was suspicious, he might have called off the whole thing with Thor to blow him off. Loki could pull that off... but not Odinson and he was acting completely normal. So something else had to be bothering Loki.

Everything was fine.

****

Everything was not fine. Thor still hadn't talked to Loki and he felt like a creep about it but it still bothered him. Not to mention that some new bartender hadn't shown up for her graveyard shift, again, and Thor was called in to cover for her so he had gotten no sleep at all. So now he was gloomy and cranky and he had to pass by that stupid building where there would still be no sign of Loki.

What did he do wrong? And why did Loki have to care so much about that Gast guy so much? Thor huffed, annoyed, but then came to a complete stop when he noticed the slim form he had been pining for exit that building. 

Loki.

"Loki!" Thor called out feeling cheerful for the first time in weeks, he didn't even notice the way Loki stiffened and how his shoulders had tensed up.

He did notice him hurrying to his car and opening the door though.

"Hey Loki, wait!" Thor ran forward and slammed the car door before Loki could climb in and smiled down at him. "Where have you been this whole time? You had promised me some desserts, remember?"

"Move." Loki said in a flat voice.

Thor's smile fell.

"What?"

"Move. I have things to do and you're leaning against my car door, move."

"Wait, Loki, if this is about the whole jobs thing I swear I won't bring it up again. I just miss us talking is all."

"Well I don't, move."

"I don't believe that, we were having fun. Loki, just tell me what's wrong."

Loki snarled and it actually startled Thor as he turned and glared at him with eyes filled with contempt.

"What's wrong? What's wrong is you won't take the hint! Why do you keep bothering me? We've already fucked, doesn't that satisfy you enough to leave me alone already!?"

"That's not all I want from you-!"

"Oh so there's more?" Loki sneered. "What, you want more fucks? You want to take me out somewhere? Or you just want to be my booty call? I have a boyfriend who I already cheated on once and I have no intention to do it again so just listen to me and leave me alone!"

"But you don't love him!" Thor protested.

"And who are you to presume what my feelings are?" Loki shouted.

"I can see it in your eyes, Loki. There's care in there sure, but not love so why do you stay with him?"

"None of your business, move!" Loki tried shoving him away, but it was like pushing against a wall. Damn him and his strength. Loki kept pushing though and when he felt Thor's hands grabbing his arms tightly he winced and opened his mouth to yell at him, only to be taken surprised by the want in those blue eyes which silenced him momentarily. 

"What are you hiding that you won't tell me? You can trust me." Thor pleaded.

Loki scoffed at that. "No I can't. We may have talked for a while, I may have started to like you, but I can't trust you. You only care about what you want, and not what I say. I keep telling you to leave me alone, I keep reminding you I have a boyfriend, and you don't care. So why the he'll should I trust you?"

Thor sighed heavily. "You're right. I haven't been listening to you because I can see this isn't what you want-"

"And you think I want you? You are so full of yourself and a dick so just let go!"

"I see hurt in your eyes." Thor said ignoring Loki's struggles.

"Because you're crushing my arms you idiot!" Loki snapped.

"I see the loneliness, the sadness, the dread. You're not happy Loki." Thor droned on.

"It's not your business!" Loki shouted angrily.

"Tell me why, Loki." Thor went on ignoring Loki.

Loki let out a frustrated growl and before he could stop it Thor pressed his lips against his. 

****

He had been tailing Odinson again and wasn't expecting anything interesting to happen so he was letting his mind wander when he heard the shout and he turned to see him running towards the person he recognized as Loki.

He quickly hid somewhere where he wouldn't be spotted but where he would still have a good view. He took out his camera just in case.

He watched as Odinson ran towards him looking cheerful while Loki merely looked tensed and tried to get into the car. He watched as they talked, as they argued and Loki yelled. He distinctly heard Loki say that they had already fucked and he made a note to remember that. He moved a little when he saw Odinson grab Loki's arms, but he couldn't intervene, he was merely told to watch and report.

He saw as Thor leaned in closer and closer as Loki continued to yell and to struggle to break free. And he saw as Odinson kissed Loki and quickly took the picture to show to En Dwi Gast later today.

****

Loki was taken completely off guard, not only by the kiss, but by how much he didn't  _want_ it. By the hurt that he felt. He truly thought that a small part of Thor cared, he had truly hoped that he was willing to just be his friend. But no. That wasn't enough for him. He was just one of many that wanted him for his body and didn't care what  _he_ wanted.

And he had betrayed En Dwi for this.

Loki wrenched away from the kiss and knee Thor in the stomach as hard as he could, annoyed when he could feel just how hard Thor's and were. But it still did the trick of making Thor let him go. While he was still caught off guard Loki pushed him roughly away so that he crashed back against the car parked next to him.

"Asshole!" He shouted and quickly climbed into his car, locking the door after him, and drove off not even caring if he ran over Thor's foot. It would serve him right.

****

 _Fuck,_ Thor thought to himself as he rubbed at his beard looking crestfallen. He really screwed up now. 

****

En Dwi stared at the photo he was given later that day with a blank look on his face. The photo where it showed Thor Odinson kissing Loki. He heard the man he had hired to tail Odinson as he told him what had happened. He felt a stab of pain in his heart that truly surprised him, all his past flings had cheated on him at one point or another, this was just the first time it really bothered him, when the man told him he had heard Loki shout that they had fucked. He had every intention of confronting Loki about that when he showed him the picture as soon  as he got home.

He also listened as the man told him how Loki had seemed like he just wanted to leave. And how he had pulled away from the kiss almost immediately and shoved Odinson off of him before yelling at him and driving off. That made him think. He dismissed the man, told him he wouldn't need to follow Odinson anymore, and then paid him.

And then he thought long and hard. 

He wasn't sure what to think in regards of Loki. He had to hear his side, learn when exactly he had fucked Odinson and why. Needed to know whether he had even wanted to and if they had ever seen each other after. He needed to know all that before he could decide whether he was angry or just hurt. But first he had to deal with Thor Odinson.

Loki was his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn it Thor... there's nothing I can do about him, I swear he's just this way in this story


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It makes sense in my head.

Fuck!

Loki was hitting the steering wheel repeatedly in frustration over and over again.

Fuck!

Thor had ruined it. He ruined everything. Loki let his forehead hit the steering wheel as he went over what happened. He wasn't lying when he called Thor an asshole, and he really hasn't appreciated that kiss... so why couldn't he stop thinking about him!? Why was there still a part of him that thought there was still some shred of good in Thor?

He had already decided to stay with En Dwi, he had decided that from the very beginning. So he wasn't that happy, so what? Did it really matter?

But it did. Yes, Loki cared about En, yes he felt grateful to him, and yes he felt he owed him. But he also only stayed with him because he was afraid of being sent to Thanos. But he didn't really think En would do that, he had paid off Loki's debt so there was no _real_ reason to think that it was a possibility, it was just paranoia. And En says he loves him and cares for him and Loki believes him. So was it really fair, for either of them, if Loki stayed just because of that one little fear?

En Dwi deserved better, he knew that. And he'd get over Loki, everyone did. He was still pissed at Thor though, and he still didn't want En to find out about the whole bathroom sex because he really didn't want to hurt him...

Fuck.

He just didn't know what to do.

****

What should he do?

Thor was walking over to the cafe to get himself a strong cup of black coffee, he was exhausted and wanted nothing more then to go home and go to sleep, but he promised Fandral he'd help him with a little renovation project he was working on in his kitchen and he didn't want to leave him hanging. Plus he'll have the day off tomorrow, from bartending anyways, he had a class and was helping Sif out at the farmer's market again.

So yes, he needed a strong cup of coffee and probably a muffin too.

He walked in and once he paid and received his coffee and muffin he made to leave only to turn around and nearly walk into Loki who was staring at him with a calculating look on his face and a frown. Shit, was he going to yell at him again?

"Look I'm-"

"You're right." Loki said softly, interrupting him.

"I'm sorry, what about?"

Loki stayed silent and he was looking everywhere but at Thor and he noticed that Loki was wearing that same grey sweater he was wearing the first time he had ever spotted him, here at this very cafe. He then remembered Fandral and Volstagg warning him not to try anything with Loki and he really wished he had listened, now he just wished he hadn't been so pushy and just tried to be Loki's friend, it was clear he needed one more then anything. But it was also clear that he didn't even want him as a friend.

"About me not loving En," Loki said as quietly as he could so no one else but Thor would hear and he actually felt his heart beat a little faster wondering where this was going, "at least not the way I should, the way he deserves."

"Loki-"

"Let's go for a drive." Loki said now looking full on into Thor's eyes and he just lost himself in those deep pools of emeralds that looked a combinations of determined, defiant, and sad.

This was a mistake, Thor could tell. He shouldn't go, not after he had stepped his bounds with Loki again. But... part of him still hoped, he had always been optimistic, maybe even to a fault.

"Um, okay. Do you want me to buy you some coffee or something first?"

"No." Loki said and then turned around and walked out and Thor quickly followed after him wondering what was about to happen.

****

They were both quiet as Loki drove them towards what looked like the direction of the park. Loki hadn't said a single word since leaving the cafe and Thor could feel the tension in the air and just drank his coffee and ate his muffin. Or he was until Loki threw him a dirty look for eating in the car and he saved the rest of his muffin for later. They got to the park and Loki parked the car and climbed out, not looking back to see if Thor was following. He headed towards the lake and sat down on one of the benches there. Thor sat next to him and made sure to leave space. Loki was still quiet, looking out at the ducks and enjoying the feeling of the wind blowing through his hair, the day was overcast today and it felt nice.

"So?" Thor said finally breaking the silence and Loki shut his eyes.

He had thought about this for a while. Thought about all the times he tried pushing Thor away and how none of them had worked. Part of it was because he hadn't really been trying, part of him didn't want to, not really. And even though he was still annoyed by the kiss he had made his choice. He was choosing En Dwi and he  _had_ to let Thor now  _why_ , so that he will finally leave him alone. He didn't want to though, because he would have to explain everything. About how he and En met, what he's done for him, what he owed him, and why he had to stay. It wasn't much of a choice, but it was one he made years ago.

Loki sighed and began slowly, "Like I told you, I don't love En Dwi like I should, I'm trying but I'm still not there. But I do like him, and I care about him and I don't want to hurt him. I'm staying by his side for as long as he wants me. I owe him that."

"You keep saying that," Thor said in a surprisingly calm voice even though he felt more like an idiot then anything else, "what exactly do you mean by that, Loki?"

And then Loki let out such a broken and sad laugh and Thor wanted nothing but to comfort him, but he knew he had no right to do so. "Before I tell you that I have to explain to you the mess that is my life."

"Loki-" 

"Just shut up and listen, okay?" Loki said and gave Thor a pleading look and he could see the need for Loki to let out whatever he's been holding in and just nodded slowly, wondering if he really wanted to hear any of this. And if Loki really wanted to tell him.

Loki nodded back and let out a loud breath before saying, "First things first, I guess, both of my parents were drug addicts," and here Loki let out a bark of laughter, "runs in the family I guess. Anyways, they both were into drugs, the heavy stuff, mainly heroin. I have no idea how they ended up together or how they had me, probably was an accident, but they did. My father, he  _hated_ me, use to beat me when he was drunk and sometimes when he was high, but not as much. Use to scream at me and say how they should have killed me, how he should have forced my mother to abort me. I took up too much money that could have been spent better on drugs or beer..."

Loki grew silent again, fiddling with the sleeve of his sweater. Thor made to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Loki slapped it away and continued, a new sadness and bitterness in the tone of his voice.

"My mother though, she loved me. She use to tell me that I was her greatest gift, that I was her whole world. She use to promise me everything. That we'd get a better house with a dog, that she'd find a job so she could buy me all the books, toys, and candies that I wanted... That she'd leave my father and take me far, far away. That she'd love me forever, that she would always be there to protect me and love me and that I would never be alone. That she would get clean. That I was her reason to get clean and that she would, so she could be the perfect mother for me. I believed her. And she tried, several times, she really did try to get clean and she did try to find a job. She had even tried reaching out to some of her family to at least take care of me while she tried to get clean so I wouldn't be stuck with my father. But they stopped talking to her when they first realized she was an addict and when she hooked up with my father and had me.

She still tried though and I did my best to help her. But my father wouldn't let her. He, he liked having someone to do drugs with, he hated being the only one doing them so every time it she tried getting clean he'd beat me even worse until she would beg him to stop and then she would cave and take the drugs with him, just to stop the beatings."

Loki grew silent again and just sat there, looking at the ducks for so long that Thor whispered his name but didn't try touching him again. Loki made no sign that he heard Thor and the smallest smile graced his lips before it disappeared into a grimace. And then he spoke again.

"She died from an overdose. My father was too drunk at the time, he didn't even do any drugs but still made her. Didn't even noticed she had overdosed, if he did maybe she could have still been saved. I was eight. I just lost my mother, the only person who had ever really loved me, and I was stuck with my father. Social services did come, to see whether or not it was even safe for me to be there and I honestly wished they would take me away. But they didn't and my father acted like he wanted me, what he really wanted was help from the government, the checks they would send so he could 'care' for me. He kind of did too, he stopped beating me and he would buy me food and stuff and would drive me to school, make it look like he was the caring father who only had his son left in the world and would do anything for him. He still hated me though and I hated him too.

I wanted to get away from him and I knew that the best way to do that was to go to college. I had no money, my father had no money and even if he did he wouldn't spend that much on me. So I applied for scholarships and loans and hoped for the best, I didn't even know what I was planning on studying, I just wanted to get far away from him, the man who was responsible for my mother dying. And it looked like I would be getting a scholarship, all I had to do was fill out a form, write an essay, and give them the address of where I currently lived. Easy enough to do." Loki clenched his fists over his thighs and his face was scrunched up in deep anger and hatred and Thor worried what was coming next.

"I got home and found most of my stuff had been shoved into a backpack and thrown outside in front of that crappy little shithole. I remember just rolling my eyes, grabbing the backpack, and taking my key out to unlock the door. It didn't work. The locks had been changed, my key wouldn't work. I started pounding on the door, yelling at him to let me in. He wouldn't, he didn't. I had turned eighteen that very day and he wasn't going to be getting any more checks for me, so he kicked me out and I panicked. I needed to give them an address for my scholarship but it was clear I wasn't getting back in. So I left.

I wandered around, I had saved some money so I was looking around for some crappy apartment I could afford, just so I could have an address for the scholarship, when I walked by  _there_." And now Loki was starting to tremble, his nails were digging into his palm, and his eyes were shining with tears that he refused to let fall and Thor started to worry and moved to embrace Loki, knowing full well it was a mistake, and Loki moved away from him, standing up from the bench.

"Don't touch me." He growled.

Thor held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Loki, I'm sorry, I really am. You just-"

"I don't need comfort, Thor. I need you to  _listen._ Can you do that without touching me?" And when Thor nodded Loki sat back down. But he stayed quiet and shut his eyes. He couldn't. He didn't want to think back about that day, about that place. Already he could remember the smell of it, stale beer, cheap smoke, sweat, a muskiness that made him sick, and cloyingly sweet perfume to mask the other scents. He could remember how dark it was in there, how only the stages truly lit up so the strippers would be put in even greater focus, so that all of your attention was drawn to them. How hard and uncomfortable the seats out front where and the noises and shouts from all the drunk men that came there for a good time.

Even worse, he remembered with perfect clarity the rooms in the back, the one's he hadn't known about until it was too late. How much cleaner they were compared to the front of the club. How the beds there were small enough that it forced you to lie close together with whoever bought you for the night. How the mattresses were soft enough that they made no sound and you could go at it as hard as you wanted. How there was an endless supply of clean sheets to replace the stained ones so no one would be put off by it. How there was a small bathroom attached to each of the rooms so you could clean up a little. The little fridges in there filled with drinks and some snacks. And how you could never get rid of the smell of sex, fear, and shame.

Loki slumped over and rested his elbows on his knees and his face in the palms of his hands as he tried taking several deep and calming breaths. He thought he could do this. To tell Thor a bit about his past so he could understand  _why_ he couldn't leave or hurt En Dwi in anyway, why there was no chance of anything happening between them. At least not again.

But it was harder then he thought. He didn't want to think about it, to relive those moments when he had nothing to dull the pain.

Thor placed a gentle hand on Loki's back and rubbed soothing circles on his back while he looked out at the lake. His mind was a blank right now, he honestly had no idea what to think or why exactly Loki was telling him all this but he could tell this was becoming too much for him, whatever it was Loki was trying to tell him he could tell Loki wasn't ready to. "Loki, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"Shut up," Loki said in a harsh tone, "I'm not telling you all this to gain your pity or to make you think that I'm opening up to you. I'm telling you all this so you can understand why there will never be anything between us, why there can't be. So I won't tell you again, keep quiet and stop touching me." Thor sighed but he took his hand away from Loki again.

Loki then started talking quickly, convinced that would help end this sooner and keep the memories at bay. "It was already getting dark when I walked by that place, it was a, uh, strip club," he cast a quick glance to see Thor's expression and wasn't disappointed to see the shock... but no disgust like he half expected and continued, "a crappy and dirty looking one, but it sounded like it was busy inside. I didn't really care though, I was still looking for a place to stay when I made the mistake of stopping in front of it to check my phone."

"What happened?" Thor asked suddenly in a quiet tone like he was doing his best not to spook him.

"He spotted me, T-Thanos, my soon to be boss. Ha, I remember he told me once in the years I've been there that that was his lucky day when he spotted me. I won't give you that many details, because I don't trust you and I don't want to talk that much about it. What I will tell you was that he, uh, pulled me in and wouldn't let me leave. He kept telling me over and over to just stay there, that it was the best decision, that I had no chance of living on my own and that he'd help me. He'll give me a job there and even let me stay in one of the cleaner rooms there and make sure I had food and everything that I needed and he'll pay me well.

I kept saying no. I kept saying that I wanted to go to school and do something, not get naked in front of strangers for money and I kept trying to leave but these guys were blocking the door and pushing me back towards him until he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap and I started panicking, wondering what he was going to do. He did nothing, just held me firmly on his lap, told me he wouldn't take no for an answer, said he'd take care of me, said this was my only option. Said that I was too pretty not to work for him and then when he started rubbing his hands over me I gave in and said yes, thinking that was the only way to get him to stop and leave me alone. He did and he let me get off him and then he told me what I would be doing.

I didn't really care, the only thing I told him was that I absolutely refused to sleep with anyone, he told me that was fine. He lied though, after a few months. The first few all I did was the typical dances and teases and got hired for bachelor and bachelorrete parties where I wasn't required to get completely naked. I didn't even know that some of the other strippers did sleep with people until Thanos approached me and said I was hired for private use. I thought it was for a strip tease so I headed towards one of the front rooms. But he grabbed my arm roughly and dragged me back to these dark rooms I didn't even know about. I hated those rooms. He pushed me in and there was a man there, looked to be in his forties, and he was lying on the bed naked."

Thor wanted him to stop. Not because he didn't want to hear anymore, he didn't, but because the look on Loki's face and the tone of his voice was upsetting him. His voice was devoid of all emotion, but his face was even paler then usual and his eyes had such a faraway and haunted look to them and he wanted that look to go away. "Loki, stop. You don't have to tell me, you really don't."

"I do," Loki said in that empty voice and with his eyes staring far away, back into that dark room, "you won't leave me alone unless I do."

"Why do you want me to leave? You don't want to be with me? Fine, but we can still be friends Loki and you don't have to tell me anymore."

Loki smiled grimly at him and turned to look at Thor. "No we can't, you'll always try to start something more, whether I want to or not. En Dwi already suspects something and if he see's me with you it'll just confirm everything and I don't want him to know, to know that I betrayed him."

"Loki-"

"I tried to run away," Loki interrupted again and looked back toward the lake, "it wasn't hard to figure out what they were expecting from me and I didn't want to do that, I never did. But Thanos stopped me, wouldn't let me go, not even when I told him he had promised I wouldn't have to do that. And when I kept fighting he grabbed me by my throat and slammed me against the wall and basically threatened to kill me, he was being paid a lot money and wouldn't let me go. He then threw me at the man and... he did what he wanted to me. For the rest of the night. I think that all the struggling and pleading for him to stop was what he was hoping for, because he ended up paying Thanos more in the morning, none of that money went to me of course.

I wanted to leave, but Thanos always kept a close eye on me after that night and always wanted me by his side. It wasn't until after I tried running away and he had caught me and beat me a little that he told me I could leave if, and only if, I paid of the debt I didn't even know I had. The only way to do that was to keep working there. So now there wasn't only the dances, the stripping, or the parties. Now there was the time spent in those dark rooms. I stopped fighting it, it was easier, but I hated every minute of it and Thanos and his customers could tell and they started giving me ecstasy."

"Wha-?"

Loki laughed harshly. "It's ironic, isn't it? My parents did heavy drugs and my mother died because of it and then I started  _happily_ taking some of my own, granted ecstasy is more of a party drug and it wasn't  _that_ bad. I still refused to take it because I kept thinking of my mother. But then I started taking it on my own more and more because it made everything easier. I spent most of my time on it just so I wouldn't be aware of how miserable my life was. I had forgotten all about going to school, I was never going to pay off my debt and no matter how much I hated to admit it, I was a whore, by force, but a whore nonetheless and I gave up on ever finding my way out."

"You, you've said several times that Gast saved you." Thor pointed out and he felt his heart break a little when he saw the fond smile gracing Loki's lips, he really did care somewhat for that man.

"Yes," Loki said softly, "he did. Several men, and even a few women, had promised me that they would help me. I never believed them, they just wanted to live out some brief fantasy and I was on ecstasy too much to even care, I didn't even remember or pay attention to anyone who told me that. I just went in and let them do what they wanted and waited for it to be over and for them to leave. But En, him I met at a bachelor party. He didn't want a dance, or a tease, or to pay to fuck me. He just wanted to talk and it confused me. By then I was used to it all and didn't know why he would want to just talk to me. But he did. He seem worried about me and asked me how I got to be who I was. I told him because Thanos never said I wasn't allowed to and... I felt like I could trust him. So I told him every single detail, even the stuff I won't tell you. When I was done, he smiled at me, kissed my hand, and said we'd meet again. I didn't believe him but at the same time I did.

A couple days later he did show up at the club, to see Thanos and I had no idea why. A few minutes later he and Thanos came out and made their way towards me. I assumed En bought me for the night, so I took more ecstasy and made for the back room, only to be stopped by En himself. He smiled sadly at me and told me to pack my stuff, he was taking me away. I looked to Thanos confused, he looked really angry and upset when he told me that En had paid off my debt and I could leave. The ecstasy hadn't kicked in yet and I remember running to my room, putting on more clothes till I was fully dressed for the first time in years, packed everything I wanted to take with me, and went to En Dwi, looking at him completely confused and wondering if this was all some trick. But he just smiled, grabbed my stuff and then my hand, and led me to his car and took me away to his condo. I thought it was so he could fuck me as, you know, payment for helping me out. But no... he just told me to make myself at home and he'd have someone prepare me some food."

"So how did you two end up dating then?" Thor asked because he had to know, had to know if Gast was really the good guy Loki thought he was and if Loki truly had any  _real_ feelings for the older man. And he was surprised to see that Loki had an actual and genuine smile on his face and a hint of fondness to his green eyes that still held so much sadness even when thinking of someone he supposedly cared for.

"I grew to like him." Loki simply said. "I mean he was a bit eccentric and annoyingly happy all the time and a bit full of himself... but he was nice, he was really and surprisingly nice and he really seemed to care about me and only wanted to make sure I was okay. He was always asking me if I was okay, if I wanted go anywhere, what I wanted to eat, if I needed help going back home or help with something else. And whenever I was having trouble with the, uh, memories he comforted me or left me alone if I didn't want to be touched. He also helped me get over the slight addiction I had with ecstasy, for a man who likes parties he wasn't fond of party drugs. But he cared for me and when he offered to take me to dinner I said yes."

"That's the reason, because he cared for you?" Thor asked and Loki shrugged and laughed without any real humor in his voice.

"I might also have some sort of daddy complex, I mean my father hated me so clearly I craved for an older man to show me some genuine care. And En... he truly seemed to care for me just because he wanted to. He didn't expect anything from he, he just did it because he wanted to and that really struck me because he's been the only one."

Thor frowned. "What do you mean the only one?"

Loki answered him with a glare. "Well, like I said, my father hated but he still fed me and stuff but he only kept me for the government checks. Thanos gave me a place to stay and kept me relatively healthy, but he also forced me to work for him as a stripper and sold me for money once he realized how popular I was. And you, you want me and you do show me kindness but you never seem to listen to you want and you can be extremely stubborn and pushy. All three of you have only cared for me because you wanted something from me. But not En, he expects nothing from me in return and I like that, I can actually believe that he cares for me."

Now Thor scowled when he heard that Loki was grouping him with his drunk, abusive, drug addict father and the man who forced him to be a stripper and sold his body and he wanted to object to that, but Loki wasn't done talking.

"And that's why I don't want to hurt him, why I don't want to betray him, I can't. I owe him too much for everything he's done to me." Loki looked up and stared at Thor with a stern look as he said, "That's why nothing can ever happen between us. I can't cheat on En again, he already suspects something and I can't risk it. So please, just leave me alone, Thor. I chose En years ago and I;m staying with him."

"So you're only staying with him because he has shown you the first selfless and genuine care in your life. Because you feel like you owe him for helping him. You told me yourself that you don't love him romantically, just that you care for him. Do you really think that that's fair for either you or Gast? Don't you think you deserve more, to be with someone you actually want to be with? To be happy?" Thor asked looking at Loki with an intent and serious look to his eyes. 

Loki didn't look impressed. "And you think that I'll want you? That I can be happy with you?"

"That's not what I'm saying at all Loki-"

"Maybe I could be happy with you. But I don't want you, I'm choosing En Dwi."

"Loki, listen to me-"

"I think you were right about me Thor, when you said I was a gold digger. I, I insisted for years that I wasn't but clearly I am. And Thanos was right about me being a slut too, because it's clear now that I am. The only one who's wrong about me is En Dwi. He thinks I'm good, that I'm worthy of his kindness and his love, but I think we both know that I'm not. But I still don't want to hurt him and I want to stay by his side, maybe for all the wrong reasons like you've pointed out, but I don't care. I don't want to leave him or the sense of safety he gives me. Maybe I will eventually love him like I should, but for now just being there is good enough. If that makes me a terrible person then fine, I really don't care anymore, but I don't want you and we can't see or talk to each other anymore."

Loki was done. He told everything he intended to tell Thor and he was done, ready to never see him again and made to leave.

But Thor wouldn't give up that easily.

"Loki, I don't care what you've said or what you think or what you've been through. You deserve better, you deserve to finally be happy." Thor called out to Loki's retreating figure as he got up from the bench.

Loki stopped in his tracks and turned to Thor and said, "Maybe, but like I said, that doesn't mean that you're the better choice, or that I'll be happy with you. Maybe En Dwi was the right choice all along and you were a drunken mistake I can't get rid of. En has been the only man who said he would help me, that he would care for me, and who actually meant it. Everyone else just lied, hurt me, and used me and left me feeling worse then before. That includes you too, Thor."

"Loki." Thor wanted to protest, but Loki wasn't giving him that chance.

"It's not all your fault, I didn't handle things as well as I should have. I should have told you right away that I wasn't interested. I shouldn't have thrown myself at you that night. And I never should have continued talking to you, not when I knew what your intentions were." Loki shrugged and gave Thor an extremely sad smile before saying, "I think I was just extremely lonely. I'm sorry Thor, I really am, for making you think anything can happen between us when it can't-"

He was caught off guard when Thor stalked towards him and pulled him in a tight embrace, crushing him to him.

"Thor!" Loki shouted angrily and tried to break free from his embrace.

"I don't believe you." Thor whispered harshly in his eat and Loki stopped his struggles and froze in Thor's unfairly strong arms.

"I don't think this is what you really want. I think you're just afraid." Thor muttered in his ear and Loki tensed and started struggling again as he said, "Stop." This was too close to what he was feeling and he didn't like it. But Thor wasn't stopping.

"I mean think about it Loki, you haven't really been on your own. You were taken in by Thanos and 'cared' by him for who knows how many years. Then En Dwi Gast came and he's been caring for you for I don't know how long. It's clear that you're afraid of being on your own now, that you don't really know how. And I think you're also afraid that if you don't have Gast taking care of you you'll have to go back to Thanos."

"Shut up." Loki grunted, he didn't want to hear this and he didn't want to know where exactly Thor was going with this.

Thor just tightened his grip around Loki, causing him to wheeze a little and clutch at Thor's shirt. "But you don't have to be afraid of that and you don't have to stay with someone who makes you feel safe if you don't really love them, Loki. I can take care of you also, I can help you if you'll let me." Thor promised, Loki could tell it was a promise.

No.

This wasn't how this was supposed to end. When Loki had decided to tell Thor all this, to relive all this crap he didn't want to, it wasn't just so he would understand why he couldn't leave, why he wouldn't, leave En Dwi. It was also so Thor would be disgusted by him and his past and want nothing to do with him anymore. No one wanted someone who was used and defiled so many times and had let it happened. Loki was dirty, he knew it, the only reason En Dwi didn't mind was because he liked things like that, he found them exciting. But Thor, he was supposed to be disgusted by him and instead he was offering to take care of him? No. He made his choice and once again Thor was being an arrogant ass who wouldn't listen to him.

"I don't need you to take care of me, I need you to let me go! I made my choice, just because you didn't like it-!"

Thor released Loki and stepped away from him leaving him looking a bit taken aback and dazed looking, and then irritated to be taken by surprise and glared up at Thor who smiled at him, placing his hands up in front of him.

"It's not that I don't like your choice, Loki, it's just that I don't really believe it's the choice you truly want."

"You arrogant ass-"

"It's not arrogance, Loki. Maybe I'm not right for you, but you won't find the right person for yourself if you don't give yourself that chance because of your fear. You've been letting others care for you and make your decisions for you, maybe it's time you make a real decision for yourself. Give yourself a chance to really be happy."

"I'm not afraid." Loki gritted out through his clenched teeth.

Thor leaned in extremely close to Loki, who refused to lean away, and still smiling said, "Prove it."

Loki glared at him and he hated when his eyes involuntarily fell to look at Thor's lips before glancing up to look into his blue eyes and saw the smug look in his blue eyes and he scowled and took a step back and said, "I made my choice."

Thor let his head fall and Loki marveled at the curtain of golden hair and cursed himself for being an idiot and forced himself to look away from Thor. He made his choice and he wasn't going to go back on it. He couldn't go back on En, he couldn't.

"All right then," Thor interrupted his musings and Loki looked back towards him, Thor wasn't staring at him, "if that's how you really feel I'll leave you alone. I just wish we could have stayed friends at least, I do like you Loki. You're fun and you're feisty, you kept me on your toes and I really enjoyed your desserts. But I don't want to keep pushing myself on you. I really am sorry about that kiss earlier too, Loki. Believe me."

"I believe you, Thor. I do." Loki said and he found that he was actually a little upset that Thor was refusing to look at him one last time. "I'm sorry Thor, I really am."

"It's fine, Loki." Thor assured him and turned his head slightly to smile at him but without having to make eye contact and it saddened Loki. And before he knew it he was cupping Thor's face and placing a gentle kiss on Thor's forehead, surprising him but he didn't move from the kiss and allowed Loki to kiss him as long as he wanted.

When Loki pulled away they both faced each other and stared deeply into each other before Loki turned his face away and quietly said, "I'm sorry, Thor.... Goodbye."

And Thor did nothing but watched as Loki walked away and headed back to his car and thinking about everything that Loki had gone through. He was sure Loki was making a mistake but he had to figure that out on his own. He just hoped Loki would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will go more into depth about Loki's past this was like a glimpse since I don't really think it'll be that believable for Loki to tell Thor that much. We'll learn more when Loki faces with the memories. We'll also finally see En Dwi confront Loki about the picture and everything in the next chapter. Sorry, I know most people probably want to see his reaction and I'm not dragging it out on purpose, this just didn't seem like the right chapter to go into, didn't seem to fit right and feels like it deserves its own chapter.
> 
> Also I'm really annoyed because just when I was almost finished with this chapter I accidentally closed the page trying to close another tab and I had to rewrite everything that wasn't saved so now it's not as good as it originally was >:(


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind that En Dwi really does love Loki so he won't do anything to seriously harm him in case that's what you're expecting. I feel the need to put that out there.

As Loki drove back to the condo he couldn't help but think about everything he had told Thor, and everything he had said to him. Loki knew he had a point, though part of him suspected he said it mainly so Loki could fall into his arms instead of En's, but he still had a point. But it was nothing he hadn't already thought about and it didn't matter anymore, he made his choice. Whether he ended up regretting it or not in the future was for him to deal with at another time.

When he got back he wasn't surprised to see that En Dwi wasn't home yet, he was working later hours as he got busier with the building of the entertainment center. Loki sighed, it was always lonely here. He wandered to the kitchen and raided the cupboards for something to snack on before En got back and they had dinner.

Only to be taken off guard when he heard the front door open.

En was home early which was extremely unusual, even when he wasn't this busy. Loki merely shrugged and went to go greet him, a smile on his face as he called out, "En? You're back early." He saw him taking off his jacket and walked towards him, preparing to hug him, when En held up a photo in front of him that made Loki freeze in the spot, his heart going to his throat and his stomach dropping to the floor. It was a picture of when Thor had kissed him earlier today.

"Care to explain this... my sweet?" En Dwi said in a dangerously calm voice.

En Dwi watched as Loki went from the loving boyfriend to a man who looked like a deer caught in the headlights as he was taken completely off guard. Loki merely stared at the photo in En's hands, his mouth constantly opening and closing as he tried to come up with a response. "H-How-?" 

"How did I get this picture?" En Dwi asked sweetly as he leaned forward, a wide grin on his face and pushing the photo closer to Loki who looked away looking extremely nervous and uncomfortable but trying to gather his conflicting feelings and trying to appear calmer then he felt.

"It was quite simple really," En said, "I simply had someone follow Thor Odinson around and keep a close eye on him. At first, there was nothing suspicious and I was starting to think maybe I was simply being a bit paranoid, but I'm sure that's what you were hoping for, weren't you, my love?" 

"No..." Loki whispered and flinched a little when he saw En reaching his hand out towards him, but he merely rested his hand against Loki's face in an attempt to try and soothe him.

"Come now Loki, don't lie to me now. Not anymore."

"I'm not - ah!" Loki let out a surprised gasp when En Dwi moved his hand from his cheek to the back of his head and grasped painfully at his hair, pulling his head back roughly, exposing his pale throat. En could see his Adam's apple move as Loki swallowed nervously and he could see his pulse pulsing erratically as well. Good.

"Loki, Loki, Loki," En sighed dramatically as he pulled on Loki's hair and ignored the pained grunt and the way Loki grasped at his arm to keep himself from falling backwards, "I'm trying to have a civil conversation here, my pet, and I can't if you keep lying to me."

"En, l-"

"Now tell me, honestly, what was happening in this picture?"

Loki hissed as he pulled at his hair again and said, "It's just a misunderstanding! I swear!" He then grunted out in surprise as he felt En release his hair only to grab him by the front of his throat and slammed him against the nearby wall, his face terribly close to Loki's.

"Now, I'll explain to you how I know you're lying, ah-ah, don't interrupt" En Dwi squeezed Loki's throat slightly in warning as Loki was opening his mouth to protest but shut his mouth quickly and looked at En with wide and worried eyes, "and listen. The man I had paid to follow Thor Odinson not only took this photo and showed it to me, he also paid close attention to your's and Thor's interaction, this is what he told me: you and Thor Odinson were arguing and it was  _very_ clear that you wanted nothing but to get away, I was glad to hear that. I was even happier to hear how angry you seemed to have been when you were kissed and soon got away after that. What  _did_ give me pause and made me feel terribly betrayed and like a fool was when he told me that he heard you yell at Thor Odinson that you two had already fucked."

En Dwi smiled far too gleefully as he stared down at the look of horror on Loki's face and felt him starting to tremble slightly but knowing that he couldn't really deny it no matter how much he wanted to.

"So tell me, Loki, my dear, when did you two fuck and for how long were you going behind my back?"

"It's not like that!" Loki insisted.

"Loki." En squeezed Loki's throat a little tighter and Loki cried out, "Once! It was only once! I swear!"

En Dwi was quiet for quite a while and it was unnerving Loki as he truly had no idea how he would react, this is a side of En he's never seen, at least not directed towards him. He wanted to speak, to convince him that none of this mattered, that he chose him and only him. But he wasn't sure he could speak without En exploding at him. Then he watched as En let the photo fall out of his hand and gasped in surprise when En moved his hand from Loki's throat to grasp tightly at his jaw, his fingers digging in painfully Loki worried it would leave marks and he grabbed at En's arm with both hands.

"When?" En Dwi asked as he tightened his grip on Loki's jaw and causing him to whimper a little and shut his eyes and Loki knew there was no point in lying, not now, it'll just make everything worse. But he really,  _really_ , didn't want to tell him.

Loki let out a little sob when he felt the grip on his jaw tighten and said as quietly as he could, "Your birthday party..."

En Dwi snarled and threw Loki's head harshly to the side and walked away from him, pacing around in front of him and letting out a cruel and humorless laugh.

"You're, ah, you're really something you know that, Loki?"

Loki didn't say anything to that, he merely stayed standing by the wall with his head down and rubbing at his jaw absentmindedly. En continued with his little dialect when Loki remained silent.

"I mean I went out of my  _way_ to save you from that place, from, uh, Thanos thinking that you wanted out of that life, you had even seemed so grateful. Yet here you are, going back to that lifestyle again..."

"What do you mean?" Loki says a little defensively and tenses when En slams a hand close to his head and leans close enough that their noses are nearly touching.

"I mean," En breathed into Loki's face, "that you just can't seem to help but whore yourself out, my pet." And he smiled when he saw the way Loki flinched and a wave of indignation flashed across his face and continued talking. "I mean how quickly and how often did you throw yourself at him Loki? Tell me, did he offer you anything? Did you fuck him for something in return, as payment for something? How much of a whore are you still, Loki?"

Loki couldn't help himself, he pushed at En Dwi's chest and shoved him away from him in anger. "It wasn't like that!" Loki shouted, "It was only once, I;m not lying about that, and I was drunk! I wouldn't have fucked him if I wasn't as drunk as I was, but I regretted it right afterwards and I thought about telling you, but I didn't want to hurt you. It was a mistake, I realize that, but I'm not a whore!"

"Oh?" En said smiling pleasantly at Loki as he crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side as he surveyed Loki. "And you haven't been in the presence of Thor Odinson before this morning? You didn't cease seeing him until  _after_ you sensed I might have suspected something? Tell me, dearest Loki, am I wrong or am I right?"

Loki looked away and ran a nervous hand through his hair and only looked back at En Dwi when he stepped forward and grasped Loki's chin in his hand and forced him to look him in the eye and asked, once again, "Am I wrong or am I right?"

Loki was silent for quite some time before finally muttering, "You're not wrong."

En sighed deeply and closed his eyes, letting his hand drop and settle on the crook of Loki's neck and held it there as he stayed silent for a while and Loki started to worry and he grasped En's shirt in his hands and explained to him in a pleading tone for him to listen, "But not like that, not what you're thinking, I swear. We just talked, that's all. I wasn't going to do anything with him, I just, I saw him as almost a friend, that's all, I swear. I probably shouldn't have done it since I knew he had feelings for me but it was nice talking to him, but that's all we did. I didn't want to hurt or betray you again, En, please, believe me."

"And why should I, Loki," En Dwi asked as he finally opened his hazel eyes again to peer accusingly at Loki, "why should I believe anything to say when you went behind my back, you, the only person I truly cared for? Do you know everything that I have done for you? And yet you went and did this? No Loki, you never should have continued seeing Thor Odinson after you fucked him at  _my_ birthday party, even as so called  _friends_. So no, Loki, I don't believe a word you say."

"But it's the truth! Yes, I did only stopped speaking with him after I suspected that you suspected something, but not because I was doing something wrong, but because I worried you would think that! Please, En, believe me, please." Loki was clutching tightly at En's shirt and he knew he must look like a pathetic and pleading mess, but he needed En Dwi to believe him. He made his choice, he was choosing to stay with him and he couldn't handle it if En decided he wanted nothing to do with him. He didn't know how to survive on his own and that honestly scared him.

En Dwi stared at him sadly, he was hurt and he felt betrayed, he couldn't deny that. Loki having cheated on him hurt more then anything else that any of his past ex's have done. But he also knew that even though he couldn't forgive him, not now anyways, he didn't fully blame Loki and he still wanted Loki by his side. But... he also had to make it clear to Loki that he wouldn't just let this go so easily. He stared over at Loki before grasping his arm with bruising force, ignoring Loki's pained and surprised yelp, and started dragging him upstairs to their shared bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Loki asked as he tried to pull his arm free, utterly surprised by just how strong En really was.

Without looking back at him En Dwi simply said, "I'm locking you in our room while I go out for a while."

"Why?" Loki asked shocked. No, he didn't want to be locked away in a room, it's  _exactly_ what Thanos used to do when someone had bought him for the night and it  _terrified_ him, the idea of being in a locked room after En had called him a whore and he started to worry what he was planning.

"Because I have something important to do and I don't trust you on your own, my pet."

"I'm not going to do anything! I swear! Take me with you instead! Just don't lock me up, please!" Loki begged, the memories of those dark rooms were already coming back and he didn't want to deal with them. Telling Thor about those days was a mistake because they just made those memories even stronger and he knew that this time he'd have to deal with them on his own and he wasn't strong enough for that. Especially not after what En was about to say right now.

He turned around to look Loki in the eyes as he led him up the stairs and, with a cruel smirk, said, "What's wrong? Painful memories? Good. Maybe they'll teach you a lesson and remind you just how much I've done for you. Now, in you go my love." He pushed Loki inside their room and before he could turn around and plead with him, En had locked the door from the outside.

"No!" Loki grabbed at the door handle and tried opening it, twisting it and pulling at it but it was no good, he had really been locked in. "No, please! Let me out, let me out! I won't do anything again, please!"

"Don't worry, my love, I'll let you out," En called through the locked door, "when I come back. Just need to do something real quick, okay? Bye-bye."

"No! En!" Loki called out, but he knew it was pointless, he knew En was being serious and when he heard one of the cars start again he turned around so his back was pressed against the door and slid down it until he was sitting on the floor.

_Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._

This wasn't supposed to be happening. Loki felt trapped. By En's anger and hurt. By his own conflicting feelings. By the memories of his past that were slowly creeping closer and closer. And it was  _that_ night that he couldn't bring himself to go into that much detail when he was telling Thor about it. And with En wrapping his hand around his throat, calling him a whore, and locking him in here, it brought it even more to focus and Loki couldn't do anything but curl up with his knees bent and his arms and forehead resting over them.

He remembered being pushed into that dark room. He remembered being grabbed by the throat by Thanos when he tried to run out, when he kept saying he didn't want to do this. He remembered  _every_ word that Thanos said when he threatened him.

 _"Listen closely, little Loki, you have no choice here. Do you understand me? No choice. This man is paying me a lot of money for the chance to have you and you_ will  _let him do whatever it is he wishes to do with you. Don't worry, he's not allowed to hurt you so there's no reason to look so frightened. This is who you are now, little Loki. My perfect little whore in training and you will not let me down or I will kill you in the slowest most painful way I possibly can. I will break every bone in your body. I will slash at that pretty face of yours and that delectable body of yours until you bleed out. I will_ destroy  _you until your last memories are of nothing but pain. You are_ mine  _little Loki, and you will do this whether you like it or not. So be the good little whore I know you can and will be and I'll continue to take care of you."_

He remembered being terribly frightened and wondering why he ever thought he could trust Thanos when he was the one who forced him to work in that place. And before he could even make any kind of reply he was thrown across the room and caught by that man and he remembered the moan he let out as he ran his hands over him. He remember feeling the panic and dread when Thanos left and closed the door behind him and realized that he truly meant for Loki to allow this to happen.

He remembered the man pressing hungry kisses along his skin and how he had started squirming in his hold, begging him to let him go, to not do this. Telling him he didn't want this. That only seemed to excite the man more and now Loki not only felt fear but disgust as he was forced down on the bed onto his stomach and felt his legs being spread apart by his knees and felt hands on his hips, rising them up so pillows could be placed underneath him, and then he felt the leather pants and the thong he was forced to wear being removed and then he simply went limp.

It was going to happen no matter how much he protested. He was bought, against his will, his body was bought and sold and he was going to have to let the man do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to him.

Loki had never slept with a man before, never even kissed one, and he didn't even know whether he would have liked to, if he had even been given the choice.

But he wasn't given a choice as he felt horribly thick and slick fingers breaching him and stretching him open. As more and more lube was pressed inside him and he was forced more and more open. As he heard the excited pants behind him right before he felt something hot and hard forcing his way inside him. As he felt the burn and painful stretch and all he could do was grunt and cry out, only to fall silent as he felt the movement inside him, felt the momentum of the thrusts forcing him forward and back. Felt the pain and the burn worsen and worsen with every stretch and the only noise he had allowed himself to make were the quietest grunts that he could before he felt the disgusting warmth of the man coming inside him. And how it felt like it would never end and when it finally did the coming morning Loki felt changed, dirtied. A part of him had died that day and he had to come to terms that he had allowed that to happen. That he had let a man fuck him for money, money that would never fall into his hands.

The only saving grace was that he was never kissed and the man never focused on Loki's pleasure but his only. So Loki truly felt no pleasure from it and he never did any of the other times he spent in those dark rooms, he simply let them do whatever they wanted to or simply went through the motions. He truly had become a well trained whore that Thanos had always wanted him to be.

And now even En Dwi thought so.

And now Loki worried that maybe that's what he was planning. Not taking him back to Thanos, no, he didn't think him capable of that, he never returned anything once it was his. No, what Loki was thinking was maybe En Dwi was truly planning on using him as a whore, just as Thanos did. That's why he locked him in here, that's why he left, that's why he kept calling him a whore again, telling him that he was going back to being one. He thought Loki was still a whore and he planned on proving him right by looking for someone to force them on him.

A small part of Loki realized that he was simply being paranoid and unreasonable, but he couldn't help it. The memories, the look En gave him, and him locking him in a room. It was making him paranoid. Making him unreasonable. And he was panicking. He didn't want to go through that, sleeping with people for money and against his will, not again. Sleeping with En Dwi all those times were all by his own choice and he had genuinely enjoyed all those times. Even being fucked by Thor in that restroom was his own choice and even though he had regretted it right afterwards he had still enjoyed it.

Because it was by his choice. And he didn't want that choice to be taken away from him again. Not sober anyways.

Loki made his way to the closet quickly and rooted through it until he found the tiny silver case and quickly pulled out the blue packet and shook it until some of the white tablets fell onto the palm of his hand and, without looking to see how many there were, swallowed all the tablets that had fallen out of the blue packet. He then sat back against the bed and waited for them to kick in. Waited for them to make him feel good.

Waited for the memories to go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter En Dwi gets to Thor.  
> This chapter felt more like an Loki and En Dwi only chapter so that's how I left it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how a fight works but I liked what I came up with

As soon as En Dwi stepped out of the condo he pulled out his phone and called Topaz. Once she answered he quickly said, "Topaz I need you to meet me at the office now," He then hung up and climbed into his car, refusing to allow the slight guilt he felt for locking Loki away knowing what sort of memories it might bring up to bother him. It would serve as a good lesson for Loki and no real harm would come to him, at most he'll just get some of his old nightmares but he'd be there to help Loki through them because no matter what Loki did he still loved him and cared for him. He wouldn't abandon Loki, he didn't put all the blame on him. No, the real problem here was Thor Odinson and he was going to do something about that.

The minute he got to his office En Dwi had already contacted the manager he had hired for The Ark and had gotten Thor fired, no questions asked or answered. He then called the restaurant owner who was Odinson's friend and called him several times to help out and fill in when needed. He didn't  _own_ that restaurant so he had no authority over who the man had work for him, but he  _did_ own the man's leases to that restaurant and unless that large red headed man wanted his lease pulled back and risk losing his restaurant he  _had_ to listen to Gast when he said that he was not to have Odinson work there again, not even to help him out.

He was Odinson's friend... but he also had a wife and kids to provide for so, ultimately, he was forced to give into Gast's request, no matter how much it pained him to do so.

The only thing left was that stand at the farmer's market Odinson sometimes worked out. It belonged to another friend of his and En Dwi had no dealings with the farmer's market so he had no real leverage there, but that was fine. Thor Odinson and his friend only worked at that stand two days a week, not nearly enough to make a living. Especially was he was still going to college to get his degrees and En had no plans to interfere with that, one's education was important.

And it will be the leverage he'll need for his next plan.

****

Thor was  _pissed_.

He was on his way home from Fandral's and he had just gotten a call from his manager telling him that he was fired! Fired for, apparently, harassing customers, including while hired for private parties and events, being spotted several times stealing from the registers, and indulging himself too much by drinking on the job.

_Bull. Shit._

Thor  _never_ did  _any_ of that, not once. He was a professional, he was charming, he was friendly, he was responsible, hardworking, honorable, and he was an excellent bartender. All those claims against him were complete and utter bullshit and he had every intention to go and speak with his manager tomorrow. He needed this job and with those claims against him, particularly the one's calling him a harasser and a thief, will make it nearly impossible for him to find a new job and that wasn't an option. Neither was calling his father for help, he had to deal with this on his own. He had study law before so he knew how to handle this, someone had it out for him and he would not stand for it.

Only problem was he didn't even stop to consider who did, not until a dark and sleek car screeched to a stop in front of him and En Dwi Gast himself stepped out of it, followed by a stern and bored looking woman.

Oh crap.

Thor watched warily as he leaned over the hood of his car, the woman was directly in front him looking impassive, and Gast smiled a smile that was a combination of friendly, patronizing, predatory, and menacing. Quite an impressive smile really. Did he know? That Thor had feelings for Loki? That he had tried several times to start something with him. More importantly, did he know that they had fucked?

Thor wasn't even worried about himself, what could Gast do to him? No, he was more worried about Loki and what he would do to him if he truly knew about  _that_. 

"Evening, Odinson." Gast said in a pleasant enough voice, but there was a bitter edge to it and in the corners of his eyes as well.

"...Evening..." Thor replied, an edge to his own voice.

Gast tutted in mock disappointment before pushing himself away from the car and walking around towards the front in slow and deliberate steps with a completely carefree look in his face. "Now, now, Odinson," Gast said now standing next to the woman and leaning back against the car once again, "you could be much more pleasant then that, I'm sure. Where are you manners?"

"Somehow I doubt this is meant to be a friendly interaction between us right now." Thor pointed out, though still not feeling threatened at the least.

"Ha! You're right about that. But I wonder if you know why, exactly?" And Gast's expression turned extremely stony and sour.  

Thor decided to be recklessly bold and asked, "What did you do to Loki?" He  _needed_ to know that he was okay, and no matter what Loki said, he did not trust this man, did not trust that he had gotten Loki out of that strip club simply out of the goodness of his heart. Mostly because back when he had still been working at his father's law firm he could swear he heard one of his father's fellow lawyers had dealings with the man that caused Loki so much fear, Thanos. He couldn't remember the full details of when that lawyer had been representing this Thanos, but he did remember one thing that made him frown when Loki said something contradicting. Thanos doesn't keep debts against his workers at all, so Thor  _knew_ Gast was and has been lying to Loki.

Gast's eyes darkened and he straightened up, fixing the collar of his shirt and his jacket as he did so.

"Why the hell would you think that I have done  _anything_ to Loki? And why is it any of your concern?" He demanded as he started to move closer to Thor, who didn't back down at all as he still didn't see the older man as a threat.

"I think we  _both_ know why you're here talking to me and trying to look menacing, and I don't care about any of that. You know, somehow, you know about what happened between me and Loki, and fine, I don't really care if you do now. My only concern," and now Thor moved towards En Dwi Gast until they were standing only a foot apart from each other and the older man looked more annoyed and furious then anything else, "is what you did to Loki. Because, the thing is, Loki seems to believe that you would never hurt him, that you really do care for him, but I don't believe that at all. So what did you do to him?"

En Dwi scoffed.

And then he attacked. He swung his arm back and around and backhanded Thor across with so much force and strength that it actually surprised Thor when he spun around and landed roughly on the sidewalk on his knees. Before he could even right himself or think about what happened Gast prowled towards him and aimed a well aimed kick right towards Thor's chin, knocking him straight on his back. Thor groaned, he wasn't sure but he thought his jaw might be bruised now. With Thor still flat on his back En dug the heel of his shoe roughly into Thor's stomach causing him to let out a huff of breath and both men glared dangerously at each other.

And then Gast smiled and started laughing a bit too joyfully as he placed his hands on his hips and still glaring down at Thor's prone figure. "I, uh, I see you've underestimated me, huh? Ha, I gotta say, big mistake there, Odinson." He dug the heel of his shoe deeper into Thor's stomach before pulling it back and kicking him hard in the side.

Thor grunted, he was getting annoyed with all of this and Gast still hadn't answered his question about Loki. So the next time Gast pulled his leg back to kick at Thor again he sat up and blocked the kick with his hand, slightly impressed by the sheer strength of it, and pushed him back. He wanted to fight back, he did, but there was this nagging voice telling him not to, no matter how stronger this man seemed he was also still much older then Thor and he wouldn't feel right if he seriously hurt him. Unless he hurt Loki, then he wouldn't give a damn.

He stood up, a hand against his side, and asked again, "What did you do to Loki?" 

"Absolutely nothing. My issue here is with you and you alone, Odinson." Gast replied stiffly and, before Thor knew it, he had pulled back his arm and next thing he knew he was back on the ground again as he was being pounded on repeatedly before he finally threw a punch of his own, only for it to be stopped and which left with Gast having a good hold against his wrist and wrenching it back against Thor's back. He hissed and stood still as it seemed Gast wasn't planning on doing anything it at the moment.

"Now, I, uh, have a serious bone to pick with you but at the end I will offer you a proposition I am sure you won't be able to, uh, turn down. So listen carefully." En Dwi wrenched Thor's arm a little further and delighted in the pained hiss he let out between clenched teeth. He was also rather happy to see how wonderfully bloody he left his face, but it would heal quickly enough.

"Now, I know that you've been  _lusting_ after my Loki for quite some time, and I can't really blame you, he is quite the exquisite thing isn't he? And  _so_ beautiful. But he is also  _mine,_ Odinson. Now, I could have forgiven the, uh, lust... but the minute you saw fit to stick  _your_ cock up  _my_ Loki's ass that's when I have a serious problem and I am holding you personal responsible for that. I was thinking of castrating you and dropping you in the middle of some dump in the middle of nowhere, but where would the fun be in that? Although the castrating would be immensely satisfying. But I have a better idea."

"Which is what, exactly?" Thor grunted out as he tried to pull his arm free, the elbow was bent at an awkward angle and he was starting to lose feeling in it. How the fuck is some fifty year old guy this strong? And yet Thor still refused to let himself feel threatened, though that castration comment did make him feel a bit apprehensive.

"Oh it's nothing really," Gast said as he shoved Thor away from him and close to the woman who had merely been standing there the entire time so far. When Thor got up and moved to face Gast head on he felt his arms being pulled back and something encircling his wrists.

"What the-"

"Oh don't worry, they're just handcuffs, and the sturdy kind too," he winked at Thor and smiled hugely as he started pacing and twirling one of his hands in the air as he continued talking, "now, this is my proposition for you. You see, years ago I was rather fond of watching this little sport called cage fighting, and I'm still fond of it. I gave it up though as soon as Loki came into my life because, frankly, I felt that he needed me just a bit more and I didn't think he'd be a fan of it. That doesn't mean, though, that they have stopped, or that I don't still make money from it. I just haven't watched them in years, such a shame though, who knows if any of my favorite fighters are still there or if they even found any new ones. That's where you come in."

"And what makes you think I'll have any interest in it whatsoever?" Thor asks as he strains against the handcuffs.

"Because you need money to pay for your classes to get those degrees you wanted after leaving daddy's firm and after losing your job at The Ark and it's not like you'll be finding any other job." Gast responded playfully with a sneer.

"Because of you! You had me fired!"

"You violated my boyfriend."

"I did not violate him! He asked for it!"

Gast punched him low in Thor's gut and he bent over, struggling for breath a little. Gast then grabbed him roughly by the back of his neck and shoved him down further before whispering menacingly, "Careful. What you say. About Loki. Just shut your mouth and listen. Now, you will join these little cage fights and I will make sure you are paid handsomely enough that you can afford to continue working on getting your degrees, unless you want to run home to daddy that is."

"What's in it for you if I do?" Thor hissed. 

 En Dwi grasped the back of Thor's hair firmly in his hand and tilted his head back as far as it would go and he leaned in far too close for Thor's comfort. A somewhat sadistic and joyful smile appeared on his lips and Thor vaguely took note of just how white this man's teeth were before he focused back on what he was saying.

"While you're there you won't be able to get anywhere near Loki as you will be carefully watched and you won't be allowed to leave. Except for your classes, I will allow you that, Topaz here will even accompany you. But this is to ensure you never go near Loki again and I will also have the satisfaction of knowing that you will be getting your ass kicked daily, oh I'm sure you'll put up a wonderful show and fight, but you'll also get your ass handed to you. This is me being merciful to you, Odinson, be grateful for it."

"And Loki?" Thor gritted out.

Gast's face darkened and let out, "Loki is mine, he's not your's to worry about. Besides, I am one of very few people who cares deeply for Loki, do not pretend that you are one of them."

"Let me ask you this: how did you really get Loki out of that strip club?" Thor grinned as he watched Gast's eyes narrow in dislike and as he felt the grip in his hair tightened. "Because I know for a fact that Thanos never kept debts against any of his workers, and from what Loki had told me he had no desire to let Loki go, so how did you get him out of there? You couldn't pay off a debt that was never there."

"That is none of your concern, I saved Loki from that place, from that mad man. He is  _mine._ "

Thor merely frowned but this his eyes widened as he thought of something and he looked at Gast with some disgust in his glare as he accusingly said, "You  _bought_ him from Thanos, didn't you?"

No, that's not what happened. He bought Loki's freedom, and continued to do so and would for as long as he lived or until Thanos died, and Loki was free to go. But Odinson didn't need to know  _that._ What he needed to know and understand was that Loki was his, truly his. So he merely smirked and said, "Like I said, Loki is mine."

Before Thor could bellow out his rage and disgust at what this man had done and lied about to Loki he felt a heavy thud against the back of his head as something hard hit him, and then he fell into blackness.

En Dwi Gast stared down at Thor Odinson's unconscious form before turning to Topaz and saying, "Help me get him the car, Topaz my dear, we have to drop him off before I can get back to Loki."

Topaz rolled her eyes but did as she was told and soon they had both managed to shove Thor inside the car and she was driving them off to their next destination. 

****

When En got back to the condo it was quiet, exactly how he expected it to be. He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his carefully styled silver hair as he thought about how upset Loki most likely would be. It was necessary though, and neither of them would have to worry about Thor Odinson anymore. Still, Loki was bound to be upset, he might even be a bit of a mess as he knew that some of those unpleasant memories must have resurfaced.

En sighed again as he made his way to their room, no doubt tonight was still going to be a long night. When he got to their bedroom door, though, he frowned. It was far too quiet. He was expecting to hear maybe some quiet sobbing or even Loki pounding at the door and demanding to be let out the minute he heard he was back, not silence. 

The door was still locked so he had to still be in the room, but he didn't see any sign of Loki when he opened it.

He moved in, making to check the closets and bathroom when he saw Loki, curled up on the floor near the bed with a tiny silver case and blue packet lying near him. En Dwi went over, intending to either wake up Loki or simply tuck him under the covers when something made him pause as he got closer. There was a white tablet on the carpet.

He knelt down, picked it up, and after looking at it for a while he realized that it was an ecstasy tablet and frowned. He picked up the blue packet and looked inside to find a few more in there. He sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he shut his eyes.

 _Damn it Loki_ , he thought to himself as he put the packet back in the case and checked to make sure Loki was still breathing. He knew ecstasy alone couldn't kill you, it was the symptoms themselves that would. But Loki appeared to be fine, he was breathing anyway, and En Dwi shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up and calling out his name.

Eventually, Loki let out a low moan and slowly started to awaken. He opened his eyes and looked around the room until his green eyes finally settled on En Dwi and he smiled, his eyes were blank and glassy looking and an empty smile appeared on his face.

"Hey," Loki mumbled as he struggled a little to sit up, "you're back."

En helped him sit up on the bed, noticing how Loki seemed to go a little limp and breath out a little as if in resignation and he frowned at that. He then asked Loki, "What were you thinking, Loki? I thought you got rid of all of your leftover ecstasy, why did you keep some and why did you take them? How many did you take?"

Loki shrugged before relaxing against the pillows, his arms falling to the side limply and his legs spreading themselves open a little causing En Dwi to deepen his frown.

"Don't know," Loki mumbled out, "took as many that fell on my hand, but it wasn't a lot."

"Why did you keep them though, and  _why_ did you even take some?" En Dwi asked again. 

Loki shrugged again and settled himself more on the bed as he said, "I was getting ready."

"For what?" One thing about taking ecstasy that he had noticed was that it made Loki more open and he never even thought of lying while on them. Still, he was caught completely off guard when Loki answered him. 

"For you to whore me out. For you to use me as your personal whore. Like Thanos did."

"Loki, what-?"

"You said," Loki interrupted. He had turned his head away and En could see that he had his hands clenched in loose fists and how sad Loki looked at this moment, "You said I was a whore, that I was turning back into one. You had me by the throat and up against the wall, just like Thanos did that first time, and then you locked me in a room, just like he used to. You took me back to the dark rooms to be used again, just like Thanos use to do. You want me to be your whore now instead of Thanos's."

Oh no.

En Dwi could tell by the emptiness of Loki's tone that he really believed that and also just how much he dreaded it and he felt a deep and painful hurt go through him. Did Loki really think him capable of that?

"Loki, no. I'm not taking you back to the dark rooms, I'm not going to whore you out."

"Yes you are." Loki said matter of factly.

En Dwi grabbed Loki's face in his hands and made him look into his eyes as he insisted, "No, I'm not Loki. I love you and I would  _never_ do that to you."

"Then why did you do that?" Loki asked as his eyes started to tear up and his face contorted in pain, "Why did you call me a whore and lock me here? Why did you do that if you weren't going to make me your whore? I don't believe you. I don't believe you!" Loki then started to trash around and En Dwi held him down carefully, only now noticing the red handprint around Loki's jaw. Damn, he hadn't meant to grip Loki that tightly.

"Loki," En spoke in a calm but firm tone as he demanded Loki's full and undivided attention, "believe me, that was never my intention. I, I was hurt. When I found out you had cheated me, when I realized just how determined you were to keep it from me, I was hurt, badly Loki, I was. But I never intended to hurt you in this way, to make you think I would actually hurt you. I confess, I did call you a whore and locked you here knowing it will bring back those memories of your past. I wanted to hurt you a little, that's all, but I was never going to do what you think, never. I was just hurt, Loki."

"It was mean!" Loki wailed and En Dwi smiled sadly at him as he said, "So was having sex with Thor Odinson on my birthday and hiding it from me, Loki. Why did you do that?"

Loki collapsed back on the pillow and grew quiet, the tears already starting to stop. He then shrugged and said, "I don't know... He was hot and I was drunk." He then started to tear up again as he said, "And I'm a whore. I'm a whore! I'm still his perfectly trained little whore! I'm still his!"

En Dwi held him closely as Loki started to cry again. This was not what he had intended to happen, he hadn't meant for Loki to be this inconsolable or this tormented and he was seriously regretting what he had said and done. He hadn't realized just how much it would truly hurt Loki.

"Loki, no you're not. You're not a whore, you're not his anymore."

"Yes I am! I'm a whore! I'm a gold digger! I'm nothing or anyone useful and I hurt you for a quick fuck in the bathroom at your party! I'm sorry! I really am!"

En sighed deeply, he was nowhere near to forgiving Loki, though he knew at some point he would be, but he needed Loki to calm down. Stupid ecstasy was only making his anxiety and panic worsen, the main reason he hated Loki taking that.

"Shhh, Loki," En said in a soothing voice as he rubbed Loki's back and held him close to him, "it's okay, Loki, it's okay. I forgive you, my pet, I do."

"No you don't." Loki hiccuped. 

"But I will."

It took a while but Loki finally calmed down enough that he was lying back on the bed, sniffing and rubbing away at his eyes. The ecstasy still wasn't out of his system and, depending on how much he took, probably won't be until morning. En Dwi sighed as he stood up and then knelt down, putting the blue packet back in the tiny silver case and picking that up.

Immediately Loki was sitting back up on bed and he was looking at him with wide and frightened eyes as he asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting rid of these, Loki." En said with a tired sigh.

"No!" Loki cried out and made to reach for the tiny silver case, "I need them!"

En Dwi held them out of his reach and calmly said, "No you don't, Loki, and I'm getting rid of them for your own good."

"No! No, please! I need them!" Loki kept trying to make a grab for the case but En held him back.

"No, Loki, you don't."

And Loki simply fell back onto the bed, his face buried in the pillow as he sobbed pathetically into it. En wanted to comfort him, but he needed to get rid of these first. Hopefully, Loki didn't have anymore hidden somewhere else.

En groaned silently as he walked out of their room, tonight was going to be a really long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be fooled, things are nowhere near good between Loki and En Dwi.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more chapters left :)
> 
> Also I'll probably take a bit longer posting these last few chapters.

En Dwi was sitting up in bed, under the covers, and with a tablet in his hands as he checked that everything at work was going as scheduled. He was working from home today, something he hardly ever did seeing as how there was no one to boss around and he had to rely that people were actually doing their jobs correctly. But he couldn't leave Loki alone this morning. It had taken him a while to fall asleep and En had ended up calling a doctor to check to make sure Loki was okay when he had finally fallen asleep. He had been told by the doctor that Loki couldn't have taken more then three tablets and that he would be relatively fine. The worse Loki would feel when he would eventually wake up was just slight nausea and a fierce headache that will be more from dehydration then anything else.

He had been relieved when he heard that and took a quick look down at Loki as he continued to sleep. He was snuggled up close to En Dwi, his face pressed against his hip and one arm curled around his blanketed knee and thigh.

En ran a hand through those inky locks and noticed how clammy Loki still felt. The doctor had also told him Loki's body would be quite sweaty until all the ecstasy was entirely flushed out of his system. 

Loki sighed softly at the touch and nuzzled even closer against En's hip before falling deeper into sleep and snoring softly again and En couldn't help but smile fondly at that.

****

When Loki did eventually wake up he found himself dry heaving over the toilet for quite a while. He knew it was pointless, he might feel nauseous and like throwing up but it wouldn't happen, nothing was going to come up. Still, Loki dry heaved until he was flushed, paler, and even sweatier. He groaned and laid down on the bathroom floor feeling gross but he brought it all on himself. He knew what taking too much ecstasy at once did to him and considering that it had been years since he last took any last night was a mistake. Loki didn't even bother remembering  _why_ he took ecstasy in the first place, he was already feeling miserable enough.

And he felt even worse when a pounding on the bathroom door sent a stabbing pain through his head and he moaned, rolling over onto his side and cradling his head in his arms. He heard the door open and En Dwi asking, "Loki? You're awake? Want something to eat?"

"God no." Loki moaned and made himself sit up, trying to maintain some tiny sliver of dignity. He looked up to see En's disgruntled look on his face and that's when things started coming back to Loki. En Dwi finding out Loki cheating on him with Thor and keeping it from him. Then En confronting him about it before locking him in their bedroom and Loki becoming paranoid enough to take the ecstasy he had kept hidden. What a great night that was.

And now that he was, disgustingly, sober after taking those ecstasy tablets no doubt En Dwi will berate him and continue the unpleasant talk he had plan and he was not looking forward to it. He deserved it, he knew that, but he felt like crap and now he was kind of pissed with En. He had every right to be mad, Loki knew that, he just never thought he'd use his own memories against him like that.

Loki sighed and said, "What?" A little more harshly then he had planned but it came out that way nonetheless. En merely raised an eyebrow and looked down at Loki, which pissed him off even more. He huffed and stood up carefully, ignoring the way his head spun, and turned to face his boyfriend. "I  _know_ you're still angry at me or upset or disappointed or whatever you want to call it. And I know you have more that you want to say to me but didn't last night since I was a bit high-"

"A _bit?_ " En Dwi interrupted.

"My  _point_ ," Loki insisted, "is that I know you're not done berating me, so just get it over with so I can be miserable in peace."

"Loki..." En Dwi exhaled loudly.

"Come now, there must be more you want to say to me." Loki huffed, irritated as an irritating pounding started right behind his right eye.

"You're right about that, but I think after last night you've heard enough for now."

"And also because I still feel like crap from all those ecstasy tablets I took?" Loki asked far too sweetly, trying to get a rise out of En.

He just sighed and said, "We'll talk about it later, Loki. Are you sure you're not going to eat anything? Just a little something at least."

"No," Loki grimaced, "just thinking about eating anything makes me want to vomit."

"All right, but if you're not eating by tomorrow I will call the doctor back."

"When did a doctor see me?"

"When you were fast asleep." En answered and walked out, leaving Loki alone in the bathroom. He ran a hand through his slightly tangled hair and sighed. Might as well take a shower, maybe that'll cool him down and make him feel just a tiny bit better.

****

Things were.... awkward between Loki and En Dwi the next couple of days. Loki still didn't have much of an appetite and he was having trouble sleeping, all results from the ecstasy. En had eventually asked Loki why he had kept some hidden and Loki had told him the truth: he didn't know why, he just did. It made En frown but seeing as how he had already gotten rid of it all and Loki had no intention to go out and get more, there was really no point talking about it anymore. So they don't. They don't even talk about Loki cheating or En's behavior these last few days.

The morning after Loki woke up dry heaving En Dwi had woken him up and told him to shower and get ready. Loki had still felt a little sweaty and he still had a headache, but he wasn't feeling nauseous, only confused. But he did what En asked and was tying his boots when he finally asked where he was going. He was rather surprised when he told him he was taking him to work with him but thought nothing of it. Until he kept taking him to work with him everyday. Not only that, he had Loki accompany him everywhere and wouldn't let Loki wander off on his own or without him.

They weren't even enjoying each other's company.

Loki sat around bored with an angry and annoyed look on his face and his thin lips turned into a perpetual frown as he felt like a misbehaving child being disciplined. Which, when he thought about, was exactly what was happening. En Dwi didn't trust him which, unlike with all his past lovers, it actually bothered him and left him feeling unsure and powerless which was a feeling he did not like. So he had to assert that power once again, even though he really hated doing that to Loki, of all people, but it was necessary. En did try making it seem like it wasn't a big thing, that it was just a couple of boyfriends spending time with each other. Even though one of those boyfriends had to be within seeing distance of the other and was not allowed to go anywhere on his own.

It would have bothered Loki, it should have bothered him, but he also knew he somewhat deserved it and it's not like he had anyone else to spend his time with. And it was nice to spend more time with En, he kind of always wanted to just so he wouldn't be lonely. But he didn't want to spend time with him like this, because he was essentially being forced to, and because it meant En didn't trust him and had been hurt by what he did, or who he did. And Loki still felt lonely and without his cooking classes to occupy his time, En wouldn't let him go and Loki hadn't really tried fighting him on it, he was starting to feel listless and numb and hardly spoke.

En Dwi noticed, and worried, and tried to engage Loki. Either by speaking to him or asking him for his opinions in some of projects or businesses at work or taking him out. But none of it really worked. Loki gave short and quick answers or buried his nose in a book and pretended not to hear anything. And going out was just awkward and tense for both of them, neither one of them willing to touch the other or willing to speak about what was bothering the other as it seemed obvious.

A level of trust has been broken between and, besides their intimacy, at the end of the day that's all their relationship revolved around. 

They knew nothing about each other and En Dwi wasn't used to dealing with a Loki whose motives and thoughts he questioned. And Loki couldn't pretend everything was okay, that he was happy, when he knew full well that nothing was. 

But he had made his choice to stay and he was sticking with it, he had to.

They could fix this. They could make this work. One day they'll be able to move past this. One day Loki will be able to return En's tired smiles and they wouldn't be so tired but his usual wide grins. One day they'll be able to hold each other or touch each other without it feeling forced or obligatory. One day they'll be able to sleep with each other again and not just lie on the same bed with a foot of space between them. One day En will be able to trust Loki again, to know that he'll be just as faithful as he was before Thor showed up. And one day Loki will be able to believe that En won't hurt him, that he'll protect him from his memories and not bring them up as a way to hurt him. And one day he won't regret turning Thor away....

His only friend.

****

Another two weeks had passed before En Dwi finally decided that Loki could go on and head over to the farmer's markets on his own, not because he trusted him but because he hated going himself and Topaz was too busy to go with. He only went for the fresh air and the snacks, he had stopped baking three weeks ago. He was mostly wandering around, eating a bag of salted kettle corn, when he heard a loud shout, that he ignored, and then felt a sharp tug on his arm and an angry hiss.

"Where's Thor?"

Loki turned and pulled his arm back, scowling at the woman in front of him. He recognized her, it was that woman that ran that stand Thor worked at, his friend.

Sif.

Not that he was going to call her by her name or even acknowledge that he  _did_ know Thor since he didn't even know what she was talking about.

What was she talking about?

"What are you talking about?" He asked, and if it came out sounding annoyed, fine. He didn't care. Things were nowhere near better between him and En Dwi and he was tired of faking _._

Sif rolled her eyes but he also saw that she was looking at him closely, like she was measuring him up and she frowned. He had no idea what she saw but it rubbed him the wrong way either way.

"I'm talking about Thor." Sif said with a glare and placing her hands on her hips. "No one has seen or heard from him in weeks and I know that you and that 'boyfriend' of yours has something to do with it."

"And what makes you think that?" Loki asked as he crossed his arms and held the bag of kettle corn closed and under his arm. But he also couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. He had been so distracted by his and En's own misery and worry after everything came to light that he had forgotten about one thing; that En would have gone after Thor. How could he have forgotten about that? Who knows what he did to him, Loki certainly didn't.

But it seems Sif thought he did.

"Don't you give me any of your crap. I  _know_ you and Thor had something going on, despite Volstagg and Fandral's warnings to stay away from you. That he'll only get himself into trouble if he did. But he did anyways and the last time either of us heard anything from Thor was the same day that Volstagg got a call from Gast himself saying that if he let Thor work another day at his restaurant he'll get rid of his lease and Volstagg would risk losing his restaurant. So, what the hell kind of trouble did you get Thor into and where is he?"

Loki frowned at that. Getting Thor fired would be something En would do, no doubt he got him fired from The Ark, but what would he do after? Where was Thor? Even after losing some of his jobs Thor would have tried looking for another one, even if it was proving difficult, especially since Thor had told him he was going to school to get his degrees. He hadn't seen Thor since that day at the park and he hadn't thought anything of it, he had sort of forgotten about him in a way and he hadn't exactly been  _looking_ for him. But now he wondered and he didn't want Sif or any of Thor's other friends asking or accusing him of anything or bothering him.

"I haven't the faintest idea, but there was never  _anything_ between Thor and myself so don't go pointing your finger at me."

"Oh please!" Sif scoffed, "I saw the looks and smiles you and Thor threw at each other whenever you came to buy something at my stand. Now spill, where is he?"

"How the hell do you expect me to know!" Loki shouted at her, angry now. It's not like En ever told him anything. He certainly never told him that he did go and get Thor fired and then somehow made him disappear. And he certainly wasn't going to tell him where he was now so what did she expect him to do? He had no power. He was nothing and she knew that already so why was she bothering him?

But apparently she thought he was capable of something because she said, "Well do something! Help us find Thor, you owe him that much at least. When Thor falls for someone he falls for them hard. And he just doesn't fall for anyone so you must be somewhat special, even if you don't see it yourself. You could find out what happened, and when you do, call me."

She held out a small piece of paper and Loki, reluctantly, took it from her. Before he could say anything, she threw him a withering glare and stomped off, back towards the direction of her stand.

Loki look down at her number.

What was he supposed to do? He had no way to look for Thor and he couldn't exactly ask En Dwi what he did to Thor and where he was now. He would think that Loki wanted to find him so he could sleep with him or something and he wouldn't even tell him anything. So why bother asking and risking ruining their relationship even more? This was Thor's own fault, in a way. He was the one who set his eyes on him, not the other way around. So it wasn't Loki's fault that Thor had disappeared... right? Apparently his stomach didn't agree with him because it started to roll with guilt and nerves.

Should he do something to help Thor, wherever he was?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I apologize, this chapter was pretty weak but I will try to make the other chapters a little longer and hopefully everything that I have planned for them will be a lot better :)


	17. Chapter 17

While Loki was away En Dwi made a quick call to see how Odinson was doing. He wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or impressed that he was doing well. He had been hoping he would have a harder time with it, and it annoyed him to learn that he was actually enjoying it and becoming a crowd favorite. He was thinking of maybe going and watching one of his matches. It had been a while since he had even seen one, which was a shame since he still paid for it. He should go but should he bring Loki along?

No, no. That will be a mistake, taking Loki back to Odinson after getting rid of him. And the only reason he was keeping such a close eye in him was to make sure he didn't find him, but he didn't have to do that when he goes to the match alone. So no, it'll be better to go on his own and see just how well Thor Odinson was doing.

Just then his office door opened and in stepped Loki, back from the farmer's market and empty handed. En frowned. He hadn't let Loki go back to his cooking classes... but he didn't think that would stop him from cooking or baking and it upset him that Loki had. He had enjoyed it so much and the fact that he stopped showed how miserable he was. And although En was upset with him he didn't want Loki miserable. Perhaps he should take him out tomorrow night, just to see if that'll brighten Loki's mood.

****

Loki was looking through his closet trying to decide what to wear for the night. En Dwi insisted that they needed another night out,  _"maybe this night out will help us and we'll both be happier"._

Yeah, Loki didn't see that happening but, then again, he didn't really have much of a choice, now did he? En also refused to tell him where they were going since he loved making everything a surprise so that made choosing what to wear slightly difficult.

At the end he decided he didn't really care and just put on some black jeans, a white butttondown shirt, and some nice looking black shoes. He was rolling the sleeves of his shirt and pulling half of his hair into a bun when En walked him, looking him over before smiling and holding his arms out.

"Well don't you just look delectable, my love."

Loki had no answer for that, they still haven't been intimate or even kissed and barely touched each other these past few weeks and Loki didn't miss it  _that_ much and that worried him a little. He found himself growing more and more confused and constantly questioning whether he made the right decision to stay and he was even questioning whether he was even  _fond_ of En Dwi. He still felt an iota of care for the older man, but not enough to humor him anymore.

"Let's go." Loki said as he grabbed his jacket and walked out of the room.

****

En had taken him to dinner and it wasn't long before other people joined them for dinner. Loki had no idea if this had been planned but either way he was not amused. These people always tried to get En's attention and Loki always ended up forgotten in the background, even by En, so he just moved his food around the plate, he didn't really have much of an appetite today. He also noticed that En was doing more drinking then eating, probably in an attempt to make sure he was still his entertaining and flamboyant self, it wouldn't do for the others to suspect that something was bothering him. Of course no one cared if Loki seemed unhappy so Loki didn't have to bother pretending otherwise.

Though he couldn't pout, he  _chose_ this after all. Still, he just wanted to be alone but he knew there was no chance of that happening. He briefly wondered if En had forgotten this was supposed to be a quiet night just for the two of them but it probably didn't matter. For all he knew he probably made sure to invite other people so he wouldn't be stuck alone with Loki and actually have some fun.

A couple drinks later En Dwi's phone started going off and he held up a finger to silence the people at the table before he answered. Loki watched as his eyes went huge with excitement and as the first genuine smile in weeks stretched across his face.

"You're kidding!" En Dwi exclaimed, despite how much he's drank since they arrived at the restaurant he sounded completely sober. 

After a few minutes of excited nodding and listening to whoever was speaking on the other end of the line En ended the call with an excited, "I'll be there soon!" before turning to the rest of his unofficially invited dinner guests and said, "I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be. Come along, Loki."

He then made off to the doors while Loki went to get the jackets and slowly made his way to the car where En was already seated, jumping with excitement. Once Loki climbed in En gave the driver, he had one of his rarely used private drivers drive them tonight, directions on where to go. Loki didn't ask where they were headed, he had a notion that En wasn't fully aware of Loki's presence and this was the happiest he's seen him in a while, he didn't want to ruin it by bringing attention to himself, so he sat quietly and hoped that wherever they were going it wouldn't take that long.

It took twenty minutes to get... wherever the he'll they were and En shot out of the car without a word or a glance towards Loki. He looked around and saw that they were in some sort parking lot and he saw up ahead what looked like a rundown but still functional dome where there must be some sort of arena in there and he frowned. En had never, as far as he knew, showed any interest in sports and he couldn't imagine what they were doing here. 

Seeing as how En Dwi hadn't asked Loki to follow him and he wasn't a fan of any sports he figured he'd just wait here with the driver who had pulled out a tablet, probably his way of keeping entertained. Loki had nothing but his phone but maybe he could find some movie to watch and hopefully whatever En came here to see wouldn't take that long.

He was just scrolling through his phone for a movie to watch when he heard some of the people walking by the car say something that made him go still and his heart to drop.

"...no way is Thor going to win. I mean he's good but he's no match for the champion."

"That's what they said at his first match and he kicked that guy's ass like it was nothing, and it wasn't a rookie he fought either."

"Yeah, but this is the undefeated  _champion._ He's never lost a single fight since he first started cage fighting and he's  _way_ bigger then Thor. Dude's got no chance."

By then the group of guys who had been walking on where far ahead and Loki couldn't hear what they were saying, but he had heard enough. Thor was here, this was a cage fighting ring, and no doubt En had something to do with it. But why was Thor here? He looked at his phone, Sif's number was saved on his phone, her name wasn't though. Should he call her?

No. Not yet. Loki knew nothing about cage fighting or wrestling, or whatever it was, but he knew the people who participated in it went by names they made up and called themselves. For all he knew this Thor might not even be the right Thor. So he had to go and find out. 

He made his way to the entrance and looked around, looking for signs or something that'll tell him where the fighters where or something useful. He was starting to wander around when he felt a large and heavy hand land on his shoulder and turn him around to face some huge guy in a muscle shirt that showed off and brought focus to said muscles.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded in a gruff voice.

"Oh, I'm just... looking for Thor. He's a favorite of mine and I was wondering if I could ask him for an autograph before his big fight with the champion tonight." Loki quickly said and tried his best to look excited and nervous when he had been feeling most vague numbness for a while.

The guy frowned at him before recognition appeared in his face, that made Loki wonder why, when he asked, "Aren't you the bosses boy toy?"

Loki glared fiercely at this and he said, in an irritated voice, "If you mean En Dwi I'm not his boy toy, I'm his boyfriend."

The guy shrugged like it was the same thing and said, "Why didn't you say so. Sure, I'll show you to where Thor is. But, boy toy or not, you can't keep him long. His fights in ten minutes and the boss is looking forward to it, the champion hasn't fought in months and he's a favorite of the boss, so don't keep Thor to yourself that long."

"I'm won't." Loki muttered and kept quiet. So En was a part of this? Did he own this place? Did he pay these people? If he did why was Thor here? Was he paying him to fight? Did Thor agree to that or had he been given no real choice? What was the point?

But before he could think further on it he was interrupted by a loud series of knocking and the big guy shouting, "Hey, Thor! Open up! You've got a fan here to see you!" He then turned to Loki and said, "Remember, don't take up too much of his time." before leaving. He stares after him before turning back when he hears the door opening and turns around and finds himself face to face with the Thor he knows.

Thor is looking at him in shock before his face breaks into a huge grin and he's pulling Loki in for a back breaking hug shouting, "Loki! I can't believe it's you."

Loki, meanwhile, is trying to break free out of Thor's hug before finally shouting at him to let him go, which Thor does, and glares at him as he straighten out his shirt and says, "Don't touch me." Thor face falls at that but he steps aside and gestures for Loki to come in. Loki does and turns when he heard Thor close the door and asks him, "What are you doing here?"

Thor raises an eyebrow at that and asks, "You didn't know about any of this?"

"Should I have?" Loki counters.

"Your boyfriend is the one who runs this thing." Thor points out.

"It's not like he tells me everything!" Loki snaps and turns around to take a good look at what must be Thor's dressing room. It's not that impressive and looks a bit worn down, most likely from age, and it seems like Thor hasn't cared much for sprucing it up a bit. He spots a bag which must be filled with some of Thor's stuff and some weights in the corner of the room, a dingy looking couch, and a small desk and chair near a cracked mirror. He looks over at Thor, who's also studying him, and sees that he's in shorts and a tank top with a towel wrapped around his neck and his hands wrapped up. No shoes though.

"Seriously," Loki turns back to Thor, "what are you doing here?"

Thor just shrugs and goes to the bag and pulls out some wrestling mitts and a mouth guard before sitting on the chair and gesturing for Loki to take the couch. Once Loki is sitting down he starts talking.

"After your boyfriend Gast got me fired and did his threatening stuff he told me about how he runs an underground cage fighting ring that he hasn't actively been a part of for years but still pays for. Apparently he thought you wouldn't be a fan. Anyways, he offered me to join it, not that I had much choice, he would have made sure I couldn't get a job anywhere else and I still need to pay for my classes and stuff so I had no real choice."

"But why?" Loki asks and Thor gives him a sarcastic smile.

"He was hoping I would get my ass kicked good here, but turns out I'm actually pretty good. Haven't lost any of my matches so far and I haven't gotten seriously banged up. Wait, but what are you doing here? What happened to you after, you know..."

"After En Dwi found out that you and I fucked in a bathroom at his birthday party?" Loki adds.

"Yeah." Thor says looking a little worried and Loki rolls his eyes at him.

"Nothing. He was pissed, as was expected, but he didn't do anything to me. He just, he doesn't trust me anymore so he's been keeping a close eye and hasn't let me go anywhere on my own."

Thor frowns at that. "Doesn't that seem just a tad bit controlling to you?" Loki just shrugs so Thor continues. "I mean it was just that one time."

"One time too many." Loki shrugs and Thor's frown deepens. Loki looks like he simply doesn't care and it's worrying. His eyes just seem so flat and empty. And while his outfit is well put together his hair is a mess as it slowly comes undone from the bun he had it pulled back into and he can see that his nails are chipped and chewed on as he pulls out a phone. Wait, why is he pulling out his phone.

"Why are you pulling out your phone?" Thor asks and Loki looks up at him before explaining, "Oh, your lovely friend Sif approached me that one time En let me go off on my own to the farmer's market. She seems to have thought that I would somehow know where you are and to contact her when I found you. You couldn't have texted them or something so they would know where you were and that you were find so they wouldn't have bothered me? Honestly."

"They took my phone when I got here and haven't even let me have access to the internet. Is that the only reason you came looking for me?"

"What other reason would I have?"

"How _did_ you find me?" Thor asks slowly, wondering if this is somehow a trick of Gast's but that can't be right. He made it very clear that he didn't want him anywhere near Loki and Loki didn't even know about this, so how...?

"Loki just shrugs, his voice completely empty as he says, "A complete accident. En Dwi got some call, got real excited, had the driver drive us here and completely forgot about me and I heard some guys who were coming to the match talking and I heard your name. So I came inside to see if it was you or someone else going by the name Thor."

"Wait so he forgot you, he doesn't know you came to see me?" And when Loki shakes his head, finally putting his phone away, Thor asks, "Doesn't that bother you?"

"Why should it, he seemed happy." Loki says with a serious look and it just angers Thor. Doesn't Loki care about his own damn happiness? Why doesn't he seem bothered by anything?

"And what of your happiness?"

Loki merely shrugs again and says, "What of it? It doesn't matter, really. I chose this and as long as En is satisfied it's okay."

"And you want nothing for yourself? You're really okay with being whatever," Thor gestures at Loki with a hard expression, "this is?"

"Just what are you getting at?" Loki asks, getting annoyed.

"That you're miserable and you don't even seem to care! Why don't you? You must have had dreams, you must want something to do with your life, you must want to be happy! You can't possibly want  _this._ "

"I've got what I wanted; I'm far away from my father and from Thanos. That's all I need. En is good to me and everything will be okay once he's no longer mad at me. I trust him and I stand by my choice to stay with him, no matter how miserable you seem to think I am."

"Oh yes, nothing says trust like buying you from your old boss who forced you into prostitution." Thor snaps and then widens his eyes as he turns to Loki as he realizes what he just said. As soon as he catches the look of hurt, shock, and regret in Loki's face he immediately regrets letting that slip the way it did.

"What?" Loki breathes out.

Thor holds out his hands, not like Loki feels like he can move to go anywhere, and quickly says, "This is not how I wanted to tell you this but there is something I need to tell you while I've got the chance, it's important and I need you to hear me out." Thor implores.

"I told you that out of confidence, as foolish as it was, but I, I didn't expect you to throw it at my face like that. I know what I did, I don't need to be reminded of it like that!" Loki says in a wounded voice and Thor takes a risk and moves towards Loki, cupping his face in his hands. Loki jumps at the contact and makes as if he attempts to climb off the couch but Thor moves his hands down to his shoulders and says, "Hear me out, hear me out. I didn't mean to, I know it must have been painful and I have no intention to mock you or hurt you but I need you to listen to me. This isn't about you, it has to be about Gast."

"What about him?" Loki asks warily, still looking like he wants to move away from Thor's touch.

"Remember what I said first, about buying you? I was talking about Gast."

"En Dwi never-"

"Yes he did, he told me so himself." Thor pauses when it looks like Loki is about to speak, but when he merely parts his lips Thor continues, "When you told me that he had paid off your debt to Thanos I got suspicious because back when I was still studying to join my father's law firm one of the lawyers that worked under my father had Thanos as a client, it was something to do with a lawsuit against several different strip clubs. I can't remember the details and I wasn't allowed to ask as I was still not a part of the firm, but I do remember the lawyer asking him if he allowed his, uh, employees to leave when they wanted to or if he required them to make certain payments or buy their way out. He said no and he ended up not being a part of the lawsuit."

"That doesn't make sense," Loki argued, "Thanos told me I couldn't leave  _until_ I paid off my debt to him."

"Which successfully kept you from leaving, which is what he wanted. I'm not asking this because I want an answer or want you to dwell on it, but how much money do you think he made off of you alone?"

Loki's blood goes cold when he hears this and he starts to wonder. He never did ask any of the other people there if they had debts as well, he had just always assumed. And as much as he hated to think about Thanos did make a lot of money off of him so he wouldn't be eager to let Loki go. Unless....

"No." Loki pushed Thor's arms away from him and made to leave the room. "En Dwi wouldn't do that. He wouldn't buy me, wouldn't make me his personal whore!" But then Loki remembered how En had kept calling him a whore when he was angry... how he acted like someone had taken a piece of something that was his, something he had bought.

_No!_

It's not true! It can't be true. It can't...

"He practically told me himself, Loki. He  _bought_ you. That's why he's not letting you out of your sight and why he treats you the way he does."

"And how exactly does he treat me?" Loki asked starting to get mad that Thor is still going on about this.

"Like a pretty little ornament," Thor says and Loki flinches, "that he keeps close to his side and wants no one near his favorite little toy and if anyone touches it he gets possessive and refuses to let it out of his sight."

"Stop." Loki mutters with his eyes tightly shut.

Thor ignores him and continues talking, "But the  _second_ that he finds something else that catches his attention he forgets about it like its nothing, like it means nothing."

"Stop it." Loki says more fiercely.

"Does he even really care enough to know about you? What you like, what you dislike? Did he even care enough to ask if you wanted to come out tonight, that you wanted to come here? Does he even know you or has he just not bothered to care about that? Why? Because he doesn't see you as a person, just something he bought."

 _"Shut up!"_ Loki shouts and pushes hard against Thor's chest. "Shut up! You have no idea what you are talking about! I  _trust_ En Dwi!"

"And I'm telling you why you shouldn't!" Thor shouts, reaching for Loki, but Loki snarls at him and pushes him away again as he snaps out, "And I should just trust you? You, who has made it very clear that you want nothing but for me to leave him for you? Well I don't, I don't trust you, Thor, and I've already made my choice so stop trying to confuse me!"

"I'm not trying to confuse you, Loki! I'm trying to make you open your eyes to the truth! I want you to realize that you're not okay with your life and that you shouldn't trust your life to En, Loki."

"It's none of your business what I do with my life! And I won't listen to these lies about En that you're spouting! I  _trust_ him, so get over it." Loki seethes.

"Loki-" Thor starts but is interrupted by a sharp knock and a loud voice shouting, "Thor, five minutes! You need to get out now and get ready to fight!"

"Fuck." Thor mutters and looks at Loki who is looking back at him with complete anger and mistrust and Thor realizes that he really should have thought this conversation better before he opened his mouth. But he wasn't done, he could still get Loki to catch sense. He just needed him to wait for him. He makes to grab him by the shoulders again but Loki snarls and lashes out at him again so he steps back and says, "Okay, I won't touch you but just think about what I've said and wait for me here, okay? The match won't take long, I'll make sure about it, just wait here, okay? I'm not wrong Loki. Think what you want of me but I just want what's best for you. I don't mean me, but you're not happy and you can't trust Gast. You may not want to believe me, but he bought you Loki, think of what he'll do if he gets tired of you before you leave. Think about that and wait for me here."

And with that Thor grabs a few stuff and leaves Loki behind to think in his dreary dressing room.

****

Loki walked out. He didn't want to talk to Thor anymore, he didn't want to listen to him anymore, and he didn't want to wait for him. He did what he was supposed to and now he was going to wait for En in the car with that stupid private driver. He contacted Sif and she and the rest of her friends will come and somehow get Thor and he'll be done with him and not hear anymore of Thor's lies. Because they had to be lies. They had to.

He was so distracted that he didn't even notice that he was being followed by three tall people and didn't look up until he crashed into a broad chest.

"Oh, sorry..." Loki mumbled only to look up in horror when he noticed the very large and frightening man he had crashed into. It was one of Thanos's children.

Before he could even think about making a run for it he heard footsteps approaching him and turned and he felt even more dread and panic as he recognized Thanos's three other "children".

"Ah, Loki. It's been a while, hasn't it?" The thinnest of the men spoke and Loki made to move away but Cull, the one he had crashed into, grabbed him roughly by the shoulder and kept him in place and Loki did his best not to cry out or tremble too much.

"What are you all doing here?" He asked in a slightly wavering voice that made Ebony, that thin, balding, bastard grin at him.

"Thanos sent us," Ebony tells him and his grin widens as he see's Loki trembling before continuing, "it seems that your buyer hasn't paid his monthly payment so Thanos will be taking you back now."

Loki's eyes snap towards Ebony and he mutters out a weak, "What?"

This causes Ebony and the other two behind him, Corvus and Proxima, to laugh at him as Ebony says, "He never told you. Well no, I suppose he wouldn't want you to know. Wanted to keep the romance alive, most likely. You see, he and Thanos made a bit of a deal concerning you. Mr. Gast wanted you for himself but Thanos was loathe to let you go, his lovely little whore, so Mr. Gast offered him what he couldn't refuse: money. In exchange for letting you go and keeping you all to yourself Mr. Gast would pay Thanos a monthly payment for as long as he wanted you and the  _minute_ he missed a payment, whether accidental or purposeful, Thanos would be free to reclaim you and here we are now."

Loki stood there in Cull's tight grasp in complete and absolute horror.

It was true. Everything Thor had told him was true. En Dwi really had bought him. He wanted him as his very own little whore and Loki, being the complete idiot that he was, had allowed it. And now... now!

"No! No, I'm not going back!" Loki shouted and tried to break free. This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't Finding out that En had really bought him was upsetting enough, but finding out that En didn't want him, that he wanted him to go back to Thanos, that was frightening and a complete and utter nightmare. 

"Bring him along, Cull, Thanos will be getting impatient by now." Ebony said and with a flick of his hand made his way to the dark car Loki hadn't noticed earlier with Corvus and Proxima following behind him. Cull threw a struggling Loki over his shoulder and followed after the other three.

 _This can't be happening,_ Loki thought to himself,  _this can't be happening!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did mean to have the cage fighting in this chapter but as I kept writing I realized it would be better for the next chapter. Also I want to point out that En Dwi really did forget about the payment, not on purpose, but you know, for drama purposes. Also he was drinking this night so.... honest mistake on his part.


	18. Chapter 18

Loki was shoved unceremoniously into the dark interior of one of Thanos's cars. Before he could even attempt to make some attempt to escape he was grabbed by Corvus and forced into the backseat between Corvus and Proxima.

"Calm down, Loki," Ebony ordered from the passenger seat as Cull climbed in behind the wheel, "I don't want to have to sedate you. There's no need to be so fidgety, Thanos has no plans to have you working again."

Cull started the car and started driving them off of the dirt parking lot when Loki did settle down, but only out of fear.

"Then why are you taking me back?" Loki asked apprehensively.

"Because Thanos want you back, Loki," Ebony simply said, "You must know you still belong to Thanos, Loki, no matter who buys you."

****

 As Thor stepped out and headed towards the cage he ignored all the cheers and boos and looked up towards the special guests box where he knew he would spot Gast. He was there and Loki wasn't by his side so Thor took that as a good sign that Loki was waiting for him since he had shown no interest in watching. Good, as long as Loki was there Thor could focus on this fight without worrying. He still had no idea who this champion he was fighting was and he just wanted to get it over with.

He was standing in the middle of the cage, he had already removed his tank top shirt and and he had put on the mitts already. Someone had gotten to him as soon as he had stepped out of his dressing room and had painted two stripes of red paint down the left side of his face, neck, chest, and stomach, much to Thor's annoyance but he assumed it had something to do with this fight being some sort of huge and special event.

Thor looked up towards the special guest box one more time and saw that Gast was talking excitedly to the people all around him and laughing with a glass of something, he even had two women sitting close to his side. He showed no sign that he was even aware that Loki wasn't there but he was clearly enjoying himself. He looked away, he needed to focus and he knew glaring at Gast will cause unwanted attention.

Soon he heard the telltale sound that announced the arrival of this unknown champion that was to be his opponent and he heard the crowd give a loud cheer and he rolled his eyes, they clearly had a favorite, and then he focused back on where this champion was to walk through. He then heard the crowd chanting while stomping their feet and making even more noise.

"Hulk! Hulk! Hulk! Hulk! Hulk!"

 _Let's see this champion_ , Thor thought to himself just as the champion, the "Hulk", finally made his appearance and Thor felt his eyes widen slightly.

Thor was not a small man. He was well over six feet tall and he exercised and worked out regularly so he was well muscled and in good shape. And yet, somehow, this champion he was to fight was much bigger then he was. He was several inches taller then Thor was and somehow much more muscular and broader and he had a very angry glare on his face as he walked into the cage. Like Thor, he had paint, green paint, down the left side of his face, neck, chest, and stomach and he wore dark purple shorts and dark hair that was cropped on the sides but slightly longer on top.

He barely glanced at Thor before signaling to the ref to start the fight and Thor knocked his shoulders backed, striking a defensive position, for now.

Let's start this fight then.

****

The crowd watch excitedly as the fight between a seasoned champion and a promising rookie began, but no one paid more attention then En Dwi Gast. He had forgotten who his favorite champion was fighting, well, he hadn't bothered to ask. When he had gotten the call that his favorite champion was returning for one last fight he knew he had to see that. He vaguely remembered being at dinner with a couple of people and excusing himself and hurrying over here. Yet seeing Odinson made him feel like he had forgotten something...

That was quickly pushed out of his mind as he saw his favorite champion land a solid punch square against Odinson's jaw and he cheered along with the other people in the box with him and put down his glass of dark red wine as he had every intention of paying close attention to this fight and watched as Thor stumbled back from the hit.

Thor shook his head a little but quickly brought his arms up to block and protect his head from another hit, but he left his side vulnerable and the Hulk took the chance and aimed a hard kick to it. Thor bowled over and was immediately hit in the face again, nearly falling back but managing to save himself and dodged another kick aimed at him. He moved aside, saw an opening, and aimed a few good punches at the Hulk's side, causing him to bellow out in anger and moved back before he got hit again. The Hulk charged at him and he moved out of the way and aimed a kick towards his back, sending him again the caging and moved to aim a hit to the back of his head. But the Hulk turned around and punched him on the side of his head, right over his ear.

Thor rolled towards the ground, landing a bit awkwardly on his right shoulder and ignoring the ringing in his left ear that got hit. He made to move but the Hulk was already on top of him, aiming punch after punch on every surface of Thor he could reach while Thor did his best to land some blows on him while protecting his head from getting hit again. He managed to move his legs underneath the Hulk and kicked him back a good few feet. He then quickly got on his feet and aimed a solid punch underneath his jaw, forcing his head back, and then kicked him in the middle of his chest so that he was now on his back.

Thor landed on top of him and now tried to get as many hitsas he could, making sure to aim them at his head, hoping to at least disorient him so there was a better chance of ending this fight sooner. The first bell went off, signaling the end of the first round and Thor was pulled off the Hulk and lead towards his corner were a random group of men handed him some water and a random medic looked over his cuts.

One round down, two more to go.

He looked up the special guest box real quick and saw Gast frowning down at him and he glared up at him, letting him know what he thought of him through that single glare alone. He smirked when he saw the older man narrow his eyes at him and put his mouth guard back in, ready for the next round.

He moved back towards the center where the Hulk was waiting, and towering over him.

"No hard feelings, right big guy?" Thor asked with a huge smile. He simply growled at him and signaled for the ref to start the match again, and when he did, aimed straight for his face.

Thor blocked it and moved underneath his other arm and landed a blow to his jaw, stepping back and aiming a good roundhouse kick against the other side of his jaw. He moved for a solid kick to his gut, but the Hulk caught his leg and basically  _threw_ him onto the ground. Thor felt the air leave his lungs and grunted when a kick hit his side with the force of a brick wall, sending him rolling across the ground until he hit the fence of the caged arena.

Before he could move or react the Hulk was on him, trapping him there, and he felt hit after hits on his face, arms, and torso. He did his best to protect himself but he was well and truly trapped until the second bell went off. The second round was over. 

The Hulk shouted at the men who tried to pull him off Thor, standing back on his own. And Thor got shakily to his feet, having gotten more hits to the head this round and let the medic look him over. He clearly lost this round but the first round was clearly his as he had stood over the Hulk in that one. Just one more round, and as eager as he was to get back to Loki and make him see sense, make him see that staying with Gast wasn't an option for him, for his own damn good, Thor had every intention to try to win now.

Time for the third and final round.

The final round went by much faster and Thor could not remember much of it besides a swirl of fists and kicks. He remembered being thrown onto the ground several times and he even remembered knocking down the Hulk and landing a spectacular hit on his nose, possibly breaking it and causing the larger man to roar threateningly at him. In the end, Thor had somehow ended up winning. There was a stunned silence before the crowd erupted in huge cheers, but Thor has merely looked up to see Gast's reaction and was pleased to see him looking incensed and shocked before, ignoring the medic, leaving the arena to head back to his dressing room.

He was in pain, his shoulder might be dislocated, but he had to speak to Loki before Gast realized he wasn't anywhere around him and came looking for him. Loki had to realize leaving Gast was the best option for him now, he had no idea when he would be able to see him again. 

But when he got to his dressing room there was no Loki, instead he spotted Sif, Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Thor asked as he shut the door and looking around the room as if hoping Loki was merely hiding somewhere.

Sif stepped forward and held out her phone, showing Thor a text from an unsaved number. "Loki texted me," she said, "he said he found you and we came to take you away from here."

****

En Dwi was more disappointed and annoyed then anything else. He knew Odinson was strong but when he had sent him here to fight he had really hoped he'd get his ass kick several times. Now he beat his favorite champion, oh he got knocked around some, but it wasn't satisfying enough. He was becoming a crowd favorite and from what he heard he seemed to enjoy the fighting, though he was annoyed by the limitations of no access to the phones or internet and that he couldn't go anywhere on his own.

Still, it was not what he had planned.

After waving off the people who tried to engage him in conversation En Dwi left and headed towards the car where the private driver was patiently waiting for him. He climbed in and huffed out, "Take me home now."

"Sir, shouldn't we wait for Mr. Laufeyson first?" The driver asked.

"What...?" En Dwi started and then stopped as his eyes widened, his mouth dropped, and he smacked is forehead with a hand.

_Loki!_

He had completely forgotten about him. He remembered them going to dinner, remembered calling for Loki to come along and climbing into the car as they drove here and... that was it. And Odinson was fighting today, he had brought Loki to Odinson...

"Shit! Wait here." En Dwi ordered as he climbed out of the car and made his way back inside and headed towards the dressing rooms for the fighters were, having a good idea where Odinson was. As he approached the door he vaguely heard Odinson saying, "I can't leave yet." Before slamming the door open.

Ignoring the extra people in the room En Dwi cast a quick glance around the room, saw no sign of Loki, and made his way towards Odinson, slamming him against the wall.

"Where the hell is Loki?" He hissed in Thor's face.

Thor merely looked uneasy as he said, "What do you mean? Isn't he with you?"

****

Belong...

Loki has always belonged to someone. First, it was his father who simply kept him for the government money he was sent. Then, it was Thanos who had forced him to work for him, forced him into a life he hadn't wanted and gladly sold him for money. Then, finally, En Dwi Gast.

He believed him when he said he was merely wanting to help him get out of this life he didn't want. He believed him when he said he meant no harm or expected Loki to sleep with him as a reward. He believed that he had a choice, all those times he and En Dwi Gast had fucked, those weren't choices. He had bought every single one of those fucks, Loki had just never been aware of it. All those kisses, the touches, the embraces, the gifts, the kindness... it wasn't real. Loki was nothing but En Dwi Gast's personal, and most likely, expensive whore.

That's why he had gotten so upset when learning that Thor had fucked Loki. Not because he  _loved_ him but because Thor had dared to touch something that he had paid for.

Now Loki was damaged goods and En Dwi Gast didn't want him anymore, so he was sending him back to the person he bought him from.

Back to Thanos.

Loki let out a short, bitter, laugh. He leaned forward in his seat until He had his elbows rested on his knees and held his head in his hands. He had stopped struggling a while ago and Corvus and Proxima had released their hold on him, though he could still feel their eyes on him. He was so stupid. So stupid to think that anyone could really want him, love him. The only person who had ever wanted and loved Loki, who had never expected anything from him in return, was his mother. And she died long ago.

A tiny, naively hopeful, part of his brain reminded him that there was still Thor. And so what? He hadn't been lying when he said he didn't trust him, he didn't. Thor was just one of many who wanted him and was too stubborn to listen to what Loki wanted. And to think he had actually wanted to stay by En Dwi Gast's side, like he really had a choice in the matter. That's why he had ignored him tonight and drank, he was celebrating that he would be rid of him.

And Thor...

As soon as he entered that dressing room and saw that Loki wasn't there he'll do nothing. Because he'll assume he went back to En Dwi Gast and it wasn't likely that he'll go talk to the man to make sure. No. Instead his friends will find him, get him out, and most likely convince him that his only option was to move back home and join his daddy's law firm and he'll completely forget about Loki like he should.

Because he couldn't have him. He belonged to Thanos.

****

En Dwi blinked several times as he took in what Odinson had said.

_Isn't he with you?_

No, no he's not. And if Odinson was asking him that, then that must mean Loki isn't here either. So where the hell is he?

****

It was strange.

The closer they got to Thanos's club the stronger the fear and dread will grow in Loki and the more listless he became. He didn't show his fear, he didn't move, he just looked past Proxima and out the car window, accepting his fate.

It didn't matter that he didn't want to return to Thanos, to be anywhere near him. It didn't matter that he hated how the bastard still could name a claim over him.

None of that mattered because, in the end, Loki had no where else to go.

En Dwi Gast didn't want him anymore. His father had kicked him out before Loki had been able to find a job or a place. He had no friends or living relatives, that he knew of, who would take him in. He had no one and no one would dare where he was going. All he had was Thanos, and that was a depressing thought. So why fight? Why try to escape? Loki has nowhere to run to.

****

"Loki was here, you spoke to him, I know you did!" En Dwi accused as he released Thor and stepped back from him, glaring at him accusingly but Thor could see the worry in his eyes and, frankly, he was worried too.

So Thor spoke the truth. He told Gast that Loki had come looking for him when he heard some guys says his name, and seeing as how Gast has forgotten about Loki and left him alone in the car, he had gone to investigate. Thor had told him it was only to see if it was really Thor before he contacted his friends to come and get him, Sif confirmed this by showing the man her phone and the text she had gotten.

En frowned, he didn't know what made him forget Loki. Maybe a  _small_ part of him just wanted to have fun. And Loki had been so moody and depressing that he hadn't so much  _forgotten_ as just decided to leave Loki on his own to mope. He hadn't  _meant_ to but he still did.

"What did you talk to him about?" En demanded as he handed the woman back her phone, he honestly didn't care if they did take him out of here, he was enjoying cage fighting too much anyways and he wasn't supposed to.

Thor sent him a glare and stiffened his jaw and said, "I told him the truth on how he ended up in your arms."

En raised an eyebrow and laughed as he said, "What are you talking about? You don't know about any of that..." He had started to say but then left his mouth hanging open as he remembered. What Thor had asked him and what An had implied to make it seem like Loki was his truly his...

"You fucking idiot!" En Dwi hissed, getting right in Thor's face and surprising the man. "That was a lie!"

Thor looked angry at this and roared back, "Don't you  _dare_ try to deny it or take it back! You told me! You told me you bought Loki without his knowledge!"

"That's what I wanted you to believe!" En Dwi shouted even louder. "I let you believe that so you wouldn't come near him again! I never bought him, I saved him! I..I.." En Dwi grew silent as something slowly dawned on him. Today was the 12th... and he owed Thanos his next payment for Loki's freedom on the 10th...

"No. No, no, fuck!" En Dwi fumbled as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed Thanos's number, ignoring the confused and shocked stares from the other people in the room. And the slight accusing glare from Thor. Maybe there was time. Maybe Thanos would accept the late payment with an extra bonus. Maybe Loki had wandered off and he was around here somewhere. Thanos couldn't have possibly have taken Loki back so quickly without him noticing.

****

Thanos was standing outside of his modest club, ignoring the sounds and music coming from it, and smiled as he saw the car his children had took drive up. He waited as Cull parked the car and watched as Proxima climbed out, pulling Loki behind her.

It had been far too long since he had last laid eyes on the young man and he was pleased to see that Loki had simply grown more beautiful, he had grown into a very fine specimen.

And he always knew he would return to him. There was nowhere else for Loki to go to after all.

Proxima walked Loki closer and as they got closer Thanos opened up his arms and she gave him a light push and he moved close enough for Thanos to pull into his arms. He didn't hug him, instead he placed a finger under Loki's chin and pushed it up so he could look into that lovely face, into the stunning green eyes that had first caught his notice all those years ago.

"Welcome back, little Loki." And he smiled when the young man closed his eyes in what looked like defeat and resignation.

Perfect. This would make things easier.

His phone went off and he pulled it out to answer, his smile widening further when he saw who was calling. He pressed on the screen and brought his phone to his ear.

"Hello, En Dwi Gast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a while until the next chapter :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so we're almost near the end and I feel the need to just say a huge thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and has kept reading this story. Especially since I am well aware that near the middle the chapters have been such a mess. It really means a lot to me since this story has caused me the most anxiety and several times I have though of just deleting the whole thing and abandoning it. But I couldn't because I really did like the idea and I knew there were a few people that wanted to see how it ended and I just couldn't find it in myself to give up on this. I honestly feel I could have done better if I had planned this out better and if I haven't let a few comments get to me. Don't get me wrong, I love every single comment I get but I just felt the need to please and it got out of control and I lost sight and, again, I apologize. It was bit of a learning experience to realize that I can't let myself be influenced by certain comments and to keep hold of what I had envision, or tried to at least. Again, huge thanks to everyone who's still reading and who still like this despite the mess it became! Just one more chapter to go :)  
> Also I just want to apologize for the long wait. It was not my intention but some real life stuff got in the way and I was struggling a bit with this chapter. Once again I apologize.

Loki had flinched when he heard Thanos say En's name so easily, as if they had talked often enough. It was all true then. What Thor and then Ebony told him. He really had been bought by En Dwi all those years ago when he had  _saved_ him.

But then, Loki furrowed his brow, why was he calling him?

En Dwi didn't want him anymore. He was  _returning_ him to Thanos as if he was damaged goods. So why was En calling? Was he going to demand some money for return or was he going to buy someone new to replace Loki?

Loki didn't want to know, didn't want to hear this conversation. He almost wished Thanos would order Ebony or one of the others to take him inside that damn club, even though he desperately didn't want to set foot inside there ever again. But Thanos held him to his side close and Loki became even more confused when he could hear En's voice, clearly frantic. But why?

"I did in fact send for Loki to be brought back to me, Gast." Thanos spoke into the phone and Loki stared up at the larger man, he was even taller then himself, then Thor.

He heard angry and frantic shouting from En's side of the phone now, but couldn't make out the words.

"I had every right to do so Gast, you missed your monthly payment." And he stared down at Loki who looked back with wide and confused eyes.

Monthly payments?

"The deal was, Thanos said, still looking into Loki's eyes and making sure he heard every word he said, "was that, in exchange for freeing Loki from having to work or stay in my club and keeping me from demanding him back or forcing him to work under me, you would pay me a certain amount of money every month and, should you for any reason, miss a payment then the agreement is null and I am free to take Loki back no matter what."

Loki started to blink frantically as he took in everything he heard. So En Dwi had never  _bought_ Loki. What he had done was exactly what he had always said, he had saved him. He didn't do it by paying off some nonexistent debt, but by  _paying_ Thanos to let Loki go and to leave him alone... And he had paid him every month but then why...?

"It doesn't matter if you forgot," the words interrupted Loki's confusing thoughts and he stiffened, "you missed your payment Gast and I took what was rightfully mine. What was always mine and I will do whatever I want with him." Thanos finished in a far too pleasant of a voice.

"What, no! En!" Loki shouted loud enough for En Dwi to hear over the phone.

Thanos quickly ended the call and stared down at Loki who gulped nervously. 

"Time to get ready, little Loki." Thanos said in that voice that made Loki extremely nervous. Just what exactly did he mean?

****

"Loki!?" En Dwi had shouted back into the phone when he heard Loki calling out to him from the other end until the line went dead. Thanos had ended the call.

_Fuck!_

En Dwi ran a hand through his hair has he started to think quickly. He had to call Topaz, get her to meet her somewhere with some of that stuff he hadn't touched in years, and have the driver drive him there so he and Topaz could get to Thanos's place and fast. He had to move fast.

He made to walk out but was stopped by Thor who was blocking his way and En Dwi made an angry noise as he made to move the bothersome man. But Thor grabbed his wrist and leaned in close and asked, "What the hell is going on?"

En pulled his wrist back and made to push Thor out of his way, but all four of his friends were standing next to him, blocking the exit and he let out a frustrated growl. 

"Move! I don't have time for any of this!"

"Then talk fast." The dark haired woman said, her arms crossed as she looked at him cooly. 

En sighed and started explaining fast.

****

Thor was standing in complete shock as he heard Gast tell him everything as fast as he could.

"What?" He muttered a bit weakly. "So this is my fault, because I went and told Loki that and he left and... this is my fault."

"No," En Dwi said briskly, "as much as I would like to blame you, the fault is all mine. I, I drove a wedge between Loki and I and I forgot to make the payment. I was just... not myself. And now I have to make up for it so move."

"I'm going with you." Thor states as En Dwi says no and Sif and the others shout their dissent at Thor. But Thor will not be swayed, he wants to help Loki, he wants him to see that he  _can_ trust Thor, that he doesn't have to feel stuck in order to survive. He has to help, it wouldn't sit right with him if he did nothing, especially since he was starting to see just how much more harm he had been doing to Loki rather then good. He had to do this.

And En Dwi Gast must have seen it in his face for he had begrudgingly said, "Fine, let's go."

****

Loki struggled against Thanos's grip on his arm, pulling back and and hissing to be let go. But it was clear he was being ignored and Loki didn't dare try to hit Thanos, he was far too large a man and he wasn't so sure he wouldn't strike him back. But when he saw that Thanos was pulling him back into the club Loki really started to panic; he didn't want to go back in there. Not where the dark rooms were. Never again.

"No, what are you doing? Maw said you weren't going to make me work here again!" Loki tried even harder to twist his arm free from Thanos's grip.

Thanos chuckled at Loki's useless attempts. "Ebony says what he needs to say in order to get people here without putting up much of a fuss, Loki, you should know that by now."

"What-?"

Suddenly Thanos grabs Loki by his throat, drags him through the door, and slams him against the wall of the small inner hall. Loki lets out a surprised gasp and wraps his hands around Thanos's arm, trying to push his hand off as this reminds him all too well of that first night in the dark rooms. He can hear the gaudy music blaring throughout the club, the shouts and catcalls of the customers, and the fake flirtatious laughs of the dancers. He can also smell the sweat and he forces the panic rising in his chest down. He will not be weak and lose himself to that panic again, not here.

Thanos brings his face close to Loki's so he can hear him over the loud music. "Now, Loki, you should know how very fond of you I had been." Loki flinched back slightly as he ran a thick finger over his jaw. "You were, by far, my most profitable dancer. I can't even begin to tell you how many patrons and money I lost when I had to hand you over to that arrogant little man. He might have paid handsomely for you, yes, but there was no enjoyment out of it for me."

"You got your money, I'm sure that brought you more then enough!" Loki hissed through clenched teeth, it rankled him, the thought that Thanos had still been making money off of him all these years. He understood it was how En Dwi freed him from this life, he wasn't mad at him, but he was angry that Thanos still had this much control over his life. And he didn't want him in it anymore.

Loki kicked out at Thanos and was immediately slammed back against the wall, the back of his head hitting the wall with a dull thud and Loki blinked back the bright lights that spotted behind his eyes, trying to clear his head.

"Money wasn't the only reason you were my favorite." Thanos insisted as he ran his fingers through Loki's hair, "I enjoyed watching you."

Loki stiffened when he heard this and he leaned away as far as he could as Thanos brought his face closer. Loki shut his eyes tightly as he felt Thanos pressing his nose against his temple, taking a deep sniff of his hair. He refused to let out a frightened whimper, even as Thanos placed a large hand against his waist.

"I enjoyed watching you dance so teasingly and erotically. How you called everyone's attention towards you and your slender body." Loki twitched as the grip around his throat tightened and Thanos's hand started moving up and down his side before reaching behind him to grip his ass tightly. Loki cried out and tried to move away from that hand, but Thanos merely slammed him back hard against the wall by his throat and grunted at him in warning.

"But what I most enjoyed, little Loki, what I loved to watch, was you being used and sullied by all those people."

Loki let out a startled shout, that was easily drown out by the loud music, as he was forcibly turned around and slammed back against the wall, his arms pulled behind his back and one of Thanos's hands pinning his wrists together against his lower back. Before Loki could even begin to fight back Thanos was pressing his body against Loki's, pressing him further against the wall.

"Ah! What are you doing!? Get off of me!" Loki shouted, trying to buck Thanos off of him. He merely tightened his grip on Loki's wrists and Loki froze, a stuttered gasp escaping from his throat, as Thanos started to rub himself against Loki's ass and he could feel his erection pressing against his crack.

"I loved watching you lying there on the bed all those times, so compliant as you let them take their pleasures on your body. And I enjoyed it even more knowing that you let them because I told you to, because I completely own you and you cannot refuse anything I tell you." Thanos then moved his free hand from Loki's waist up to cup Loki's jaw, lifting it slightly up and exposing his pale neck and licking up a line against the exposed side. "And now that body is in my possession again and I will reclaim what is mine."

Thanos then moved away from Loki, letting him go and turning away from him. Loki let his arms fall limply to his sides and turned his head slightly to see what was going on. Thanos was ordering his "children" to stand guard in the club for any unruly patrons that needed to be thrown out, their only job and responsibility in the club, that and making sure none of the dancers left unless they were given the clear to. Loki felt his face burning with anger and shame when he realizes that they were most likely here throughout that entire interaction and he clenched his fists.

No.

This wasn't going to happen. Not again. Loki will not be a compliant plaything for Thanos anymore. He was going to get the hell out of here.

****

Thor honestly had no idea what to expect.

As soon as Thor had told Sif and the others to pack up his stuff and take them to his place and not to try and follow him or call anyone unless he told them to, he had followed Gast to his car and climbed in. Gast had immediately told the driver to an intersection off the highway and had pulled out his phone to call someone named "Topaz". Thor didn't hear much from the conversation other then Gast telling to Topaz to get the usual stuff and meet him at the intersection they were heading towards now. He had a vague idea of what the stuff was and he was wondering just what he was expecting when they went to get Loki and how many times he used that stuff that he considered them the usual. He thought of asking Gast but he figured the older man wouldn't say anything until he met up with Topaz so Thor merely stayed quiet.

It was a quiet, and tense, ride and as soon as the driver pulled up to the intersection Thor saw a car parked there, and waiting for them. A somewhat short woman was leaning against the driver's side and Gast immediately headed towards her once he climbed out of the car. Thor followed.

Topaz had her arms crossed and she raised an eyebrow when she noticed Thor Odinson following behind En Dwi. "What's going on?" She asked En Dwi who looked extremely upset and more serious then she's seen him in quite some time.

En Dwi looked towards the trunk and headed towards it, motioning for Topaz to follow him. He opened the trunk and looked through everything Topaz brought and grimaced slightly, he really thought he wouldn't have to use any of this stuff, but it was necessary and worth it for Loki's safety. He picked up his old and favorite gun, a customized white and gold piece with some golden filigree on it, and made sure it was loaded as he answered Topaz.

"I, uh, I forgot to pay Thanos."

Topaz showed a little bit of surprise but, otherwise, her face was still blank. "How did he find Loki?" She asked, guessing that he was already in Thanos's hands.

En Dwi pursed his lips as he loaded up the gun and said, "Doesn't matter, we're not leaving Loki there. Here." En then said as he noticed Thor appearing by his side and threw one of the guns at him while Topaz picked up her own and loaded it up, not questioning En Dwi at all. Thor, however, looked down at the unloaded gun before looking up at Gast.

"What exactly are you expecting and what are you planning?" Thor asked seriously. Though he wasn't opposed to using the gun he was unsure about this. As much as he felt he did care for Loki he wasn't exactly willing to kill for him, maybe injure, but not kill.

"Thanos has most likely had Loki taken back to that ridiculous club of his," En Dwi began to explain as he shut the trunk and motioned for Topaz to get behind the wheel, "he's made it perfectly clear that if he ever got Loki back he would have him working there again. But there's a possibility he'll have some 'fun' with him first and I am determined to not let that happen."

"But what are you planning to do when we get there?" Thor asked as he tried not to think too much on what Loki was possibly going through, he remembered very well how terrified and disgusted Loki had been when he had told him of his time working at that club. He could only imagine how Loki was feeling to be forced back into that.

Gast looked at Thor's reflection through one of the car mirrors before answering. "Thanos is very cocky. The police in charge of that area tend to let him do whatever he wants as he always treats them specially at the club so he never worries about any trouble happening at the club. He's pretty big and can fight well himself so he tends to deal with trouble himself. Then there are those four he refers to as his children, they're the only close thing resembling to guards and bouncers that he has and they all stay in the busy part of the club where the strip dances happen."

"So that's what the guns are for, we have to go through them and possibly kill them... and any of the strippers or customers there?" Thor asked sounding a little furious at the thought that Gast could be so willing to kill people, even if it was for Loki.

"No, you idiot, you've never been to Thanos's club, have you?" En Dwi said sounding exasperated and desperately wishing he hadn't let Odinson tag along as he simply wanted to focus and not explain things, he wouldn't have to explain any of this to Topaz.

"Then what are the guns for? How do you expect to get through Thanos's 'children' unseen and through the people who are bound to be there without hurting them?" Thor asked again, leaning forward and grabbing onto the back of Gast's seat.

"That won't be an issue at all." En Dwi said in a voice of forced calm, shutting his eyes and rubbing his eyelids in an attempt to stay calm.

"But then-" Thor began when Topaz interrupted him. "It's like En Dwi said, Thanos is a cocky and arrogant man who is confident there will never be trouble in his club that he cannot handle, you can see that by how it's built."

"What do you mean?" Thor asked a little intrigued.

"When you step through the entrance to the club there are two doorways, one that's covered by sheer curtains that leads towards the main dance floor of the club where the strippers dance and where the bars and food are. The other doorway," Topaz explained as she made a wide turn, "leads towards a brief hallway with a door at the end that leads towards the changing rooms and Thanos's office. As well as one of the entrances to the 'dark rooms' Loki talks about that you might have heard about. Odds are Loki will be taken to one of those areas so, if we're careful and quiet, Thanos's 'children' as well as his strippers and customers won't even know we're there."

Thor nodded to himself as he took in what the woman told him, he had to admit that sounded like a good plan. But... "Why the guns then?" He asked.

"What is with you and the guns? Loki is the main concern here." En Dwi snapped sounding more and more irritated.

"The guns are for if we need them against Thanos." Topaz interjected. "You don't have to shoot it if you don't want to, you can also hit someone on the back of the head with them. It's simply a good idea to have them with us."

Thor still frowned at that, he didn't  _want_ to have to use a gun if he didn't have to.

En Dwi was staring at Thor through the mirror again as he spoke. "Look, if you're not going to help get Loki out of there, if you're not willing to do what you need to, then you never should have insisted on tagging along and you  _never_ should have gotten involved with him in the first place."

Thor merely scrunched his nose and turned to look out the window. 

Maybe Gast was right.

****

 _Something is wrong,_ Thanos thought to himself, a little displeased.

After he had intimidated Loki against the wall he had grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him down the hall and Loki had immediately started fighting back.

Again.

It reminded him of when he had first spotted Loki and had managed to convince him to work here. Loki had given in, as he needed not only a place to stay but money and access to food, everything that Thanos was offering him just by working here. And Loki had been very difficult and stubborn, constantly saying no to everything, no matter how much money was offered to him. Thanos had steadily lost patience with him and knew he had to teach him a lesson. So he did. He threatened him, he silenced him, and he locked him in the back rooms where an eager customer finished teaching him his lesson. Come morning Loki had turned completely compliant and did whatever jobs was asked of him, including going to the back rooms for the night.

And Thanos had enjoyed seeing Loki going into those rooms and coming out of them completely broken and becoming dependent on the ecstasy pills he took to block out who and what he was becoming. He was nothing but a shadow of who he was when he had first stepped foot here. And he had liked it. 

Then En Dwi Gast came along with that offer that he couldn't refuse. He had said no at first as he didn't want all his work undone, and he was hoping to up the price a bit. And with Gast constantly raising the price Thanos had agreed, he had been fairly confident that Loki would stay as broken as he was and that Gast will return him after he had his fill of him.

But he had underestimated them both.

"Let me go you bastard!" Loki kept shouting over and over, kicking out his legs and landing blows on Thanos's arms with determined force.

It seems his little intimidation show had no effect on Loki... but why not? It had worked so well the first time. What had En Dwi Gast done to his little Loki?

He opened the door to one of the still empty back rooms and felt the way Loki stiffened behind him and Thanos felt himself smile triumphantly. 

Of course.

Loki hadn't become completely compliant the first time around until  _after_ he spent the night servicing a customer in one of those rooms. Well then, "It appears you'll need another night in these rooms, little Loki." Thanos spoke his thought aloud and was immediately pleased by the look of horror on Loki's face. He pushed him roughly into the room before saying, "I'll be back later tonight, Loki, and no drugs to help you escape into your mind."

"No-" Loki started to protest and Thanos closed the door, locked it, and walked away towards his office, looking forward to breaking in Loki himself this time. 

****

_Fuck!_

He had to get out of here.

He didn't want any of this. He didn't want to be a pawn of Thanos, a force of entertainment for him. Because that's what he was, he saw that now. It wasn't just about the money he had been getting off of him, it was watching Loki break down the man had enjoyed watching so much. And being with En Dwi those two years... he had begun to mend, to heal. And Thanos wanted to break him all over again.

_"I'll be back later tonight..."_

Loki shuddered violently as the words echoed in his head. That was  _not_ going to happen. He will  _not_ allow Thanos anywhere near him or force him into something he didn't want. But how was he going to get out? The door was locked and there were no windows anywhere in the dark rooms, not even the small bathrooms attached to them. Loki chewed nervously on one of his nails, more black polish chipping off. He looked back at the door handle. He had never once tried to pick the lock open, there had never been much time to as there was always someone else in the rooms with him at the time. But Thanos wasn't coming until later in the night...

Loki checked his pocket and let out a slightly disbelieving noise, his phone was still in his pocket! Had they simply forgotten to take it away from him, or was Thanos so arrogant and sure of himself that he didn't think Loki would call for help? Or did he simply think Loki would be too frighten to call anyone?

Loki will admit that before when he had still thought that En Dwi himself had sent Thanos to get him he certainly wouldn't have tried calling for help. And he'd probably be curled up somewhere in blind numbing fear and dread. But... knowing that there was a possibility that En will come for him...

Unlocking his phone Loki quickly wrote out a text and sent it to En. He didn't want to risk being heard making a call and figured sending a text will be safer. Once that was done he put his phone back in his pocket and looked around for anything he could use to pick open a lock and get the hell out of this dark room.

****

They were nearly at Thanos's club when En Dwi heard his phone go off and saw that he got a text from Loki. He quickly opened it and read the text.

**_If you're planning on coming to get me I'm at Thanos's club in one of the dark rooms. The first one through the hall and the door. I know you're still mad but don't leave me here En. Please._ **

En's heart dropped at that. Not just the fact that Loki was in the dark rooms, he knows just how much Loki detest them and he never wanted him back in them ever again. But it also hurt him that Loki didn't seem so sure that he was coming to get him. 

"We're here." Topaz announced and En Dwi looked up and saw that they were parked across the street, a few stores down as he had instructed.

"Let's go." Time to prove to Loki that he will always be there for him.

****

Loki had gone rifling through the cabinets in the bathroom as he figured he was more likely to find something useful in there. He ended up finding one of those tiny manicure sets and settled for using one of those thin nail files and he broke a pair of tweezers and used those to try to pick the lock. He never picked a lock but he was determined to at least try, he might be able to get out and away from the club. Better then sitting here, dreading when Thanos will decide to show up.

He wasn't quite sure if he was doing anything when he heard a tiny click and thought for a minute that he had actually done it. But then the door started to swing towards him and he felt panic grip his heart, he hadn't moved the door. He scrambled back a bit to avoid getting hit by the door and was met by the very unwelcome sight of Thanos looming over him and looking down at him in slight disappointment.

"What's this now?" Thanos questioned.

Loki couldn't help but gulp nervously, opening his mouth to try and come up with some believable excuse. Before he could come up with anything Thanos reached down and grabbed Loki by the front of his shirt, lifting him up effortlessly, and throwing him roughly onto the bed. Before Loki could react, Thanos was on top of him, rolling him onto his stomach and placing the palm of his hand on the middle of Loki's back.

"Time for your lesson." Thanos whispered a bit menacingly before grabbing the waist of Loki's jeans and beginning to tug on them roughly and Loki immediately began to fight and to struggle.

****

There was a small group of four men walking into the club and En Dwi, Topaz, and Thor followed a step behind them, hoping to sneak down the hallway they needed to using these men to mask them doing so. They made it in but En frowned when he noticed Ebony Maw stepping out and greeting the four men with a fake cheeriness. Damn. If Ebony recognized either Topaz or himself he'll warn Thanos before they even get to Loki. Topaz seemed to have realized this as well for she fell back slightly, nodding at him, and they let Thor move on ahead of them for he was closest to Ebony and unknown and unrecognizable too.

Thor knew what to. He had been told before that if any of Thanos's came out as they made their way in it was up to him to take care of them as he was the only one they will not know and simply assume he was there for a show and a dance. So as soon as he felt Gast and Topaz falling back his eyes snapped to the tall and extremely thin man with the unnerving grin on his face and figured that one good hit should knock him out.

As soon as the man turned to Thor and opened his mouth to welcome him Thor quickly moved and landed a solid punch to the middle of his face, a resounding crack filling his ears as the man fell back against the wall and fell into a crumpled heap. Thor quickly checked to see that the man was still breathing, ignoring Gast hissing at him to hurry up if he had any intention to help. Once he was sure the man was more or less okay Thor went and followed.

Topaz checked to make sure the hallway was clear before they all made their way down the rather short hallway. As they got closer to the door at the end they all became aware at the sounds of what sounded like a struggle followed by what sounded like Loki's voice followed by a muffled shout and then a deeper voice that could only be Thanos.

En Dwi was the first to move and pushed open the door and made toward the first door of what Loki called the dark rooms where he could hear the noises even more. Without hesitating he swung the door open and his eyes fell on Loki, struggling with everything in him underneath Thanos and his jeans being halfway pulled down the globes of his ass.

Without hesitating En Dwi pulled out his gun and shot at Thanos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will most likely be a while before the next and final chapter is out but I've already started working on it and it shouldn't take as long as this chapter did, it should be out either during the weekend or next week :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter :)

Loki had shifted underneath Thanos and had rolled his shoulder back as violently as he could, managing to slightly throw him off of him when they both heard a gunshot and Thanos felt a burning pain in right shoulder.

En Dwi had aimed for his head, but the movement of Loki trying to throw him off caused the bullet to hit Thanos's shoulder.

Loki turned back as far as he could and noticed the slightly shocked look on Thanos's face as he looked at his bleeding shoulder and then noticed En Dwi standing at the door with a ridiculously fancy looking gun pointed at Thanos. Loki took Thanos's shock and preoccupation to his advantage and freed his arms out from underneath him and rammed one of his elbows deeply against Thanos's gut before slamming the back of his head back against the larger man's jaw, knocking him back far enough that Loki was able to crawl out from underneath him and landing rather ungracefully on the ground and quickly lifted his jeans back up.

"Loki!" He heard a rather unexpected voice say and looked up to see Thor crouching down in front of him.

"What?" Loki let out a little confused, and it certainly didn't help that the back of his head was pounding slightly after slamming it against Thanos.

Thor just gave him a somewhat awkward smile before his gaze moved back towards the doorway and Loki looked too, seeing En, still pointing the gun at Thanos, moving closer towards where he was lying on his back onthe bed. 

Thanos was looking at him with a huge and far too cocky of a grin on his face as he sat up. "Should have known you'd interfere once again, Gast."

Keeping his eyes on Thanos, En Dwi said, "Odinson, go on and take Loki back to the car."

"What, no wait!" Loki protested, pulling his arm back from Thor when he made to grab it. He didn't want to go, not without making sure that that bastard was killed. That he pay for everything he had put him through today and all those years he was stuck here. He wanted Thanos dead. 

But En Dwi had other ideas. "Go Loki," he said. "I don't want you to have to see this."

Loki stared at him defiantly but saw that there would be no changing his mind. So when Thor made to grab him again, Loki moved away and got up on his own but let Thor lead him out.

That's when he saw the gun tucked in the back of Thor's jeans and sticking out over his shirt. 

Without a second thought Loki quickly grabbed it, turned around and shot straight at Thanos's head as the same time that En Dwi did. Both bullets hit him in different parts of his head and he fell back on the bed, dead.

En Dwi turned to look at Loki in complete shock while Loki merely looked at Thanos, the gun still pointed at him, and a blank look on his face.

"Well," Loki said after a minute or two of complete silence, "guess we'll  never know who killed him for sure." He then dropped the gun on the floor and moved towards the door where Topaz was.

****

As far as they could tell no one in the club had any idea what just happened. It seemed the music was loud enough to drown on the shots and Ebony Maw was still knocked out cold so they all slipped out of the club undetected. 

Loki stayed quiet the entire car ride as En Dwi was busy, no doubt calling one of his connections to deal with Thanos's body and the club and to make sure none of them got arrested or sent to jail. Topaz never really spoke to him. And Thor was being quiet too. Loki had no idea why he came along or how he got En Dwi to let him come but, at the moment, Loki didn't really care.

It was, finally, all over.

**** 

En Dwi and Loki had broken up. En thought it was for the best.

Loki hadn't wanted to. He said he had forgiven En Dwi and that all he wanted was to try to make this work. Truth was that Loki was just terrified of being on his own, and En knew this. He had known for a while, that that was the reason Loki had stayed with him all these years, he just wouldn't admit it. It had never bothered him since it kept Loki at his side like he wanted, but it was also why Loki was unhappy. He didn't love him the way En wanted him to and he had to accept that. He had to let Loki go, even if it terrified the young man. And even if he still loved Loki deeply.

But En Dwi was determined to help him.

After the whole mess with Thanos was over and done with, En Dwi's connections had successfully kept all of them out of legal trouble and the club was shut down, there was no danger or trouble for Loki to deal with anymore. He was perfectly safe.

But... he was also unprepared to live in the world on his own and En Dwi wanted to help him with that, to prepare him, he just needed to talk with Loki about something very important that he thought he will enjoy immensely.

****

Despite the fact that Loki and En Dwi had broken up Loki was still living in his condo, but in one of the guest rooms now. It felt slightly strange, living with his now ex, but he was also grateful that En let him stay here, especially as he was still the only person he really knew. And En had practically insisted saying he had no intention to toss Loki out in the streets simply because they were no longer together, he  _had_ broken things off with Loki for his own good after all.

And Loki saw his reasoning. He had never really loved En Dwi in that way and he had never really been happy and after the cheating was revealed and how En had paid Thanos off to leave Loki be... he saw no way they could be together in that way anymore as neither of them could simply forget everything that happened, though Loki wasn't  _mad_ at En Dwi for doing what he did it as he saw that he did it to help him. But it was still something that couldn't be ignored, no matter how hard he tried. Money was still being passed and Loki felt unnerved by it, not because he felt he had been used, they hadn't become intimate until he himself had decided to, but it was more money En had lost because of Loki. Money he could never pay back, and he felt terrible because of it and he tended to be a little more nervous around the man. Add that with the fact that they were no longer together and Loki couldn't simply have sex with the man to please them, he had no idea how to act around him, he never really knew him he now realized. Maybe now would be a good chance to. 

****

When En had asked him to join him in the dining room a few nights later Loki grew a little nervous. Things between them were a little better now which Loki was surprisingly pleased about. There was still a lingering sense of awkwardness that came after ending what had been mostly a sexual relationship, not really helped by En Dwi's flirtatious personality or the way that Loki responded before they both remembered there were simply friends, or trying to be. Truth be told, En Dwi sometimes acted like a doting uncle with Loki which he found hilarious and Loki felt more at ease being, essentially, a guest at his ex's place.

When he got to the dining room En Dwi was sitting at the table, his expensive laptop in front of him and a couple of brochures in front of him. When Loki got close enough to see them he realized they were brochures to different culinary schools.

"What is this?" Loki asked with his eyebrows raised as he took a seat across from En.

"These are for you to look at." En Dwi said, quickly looking up and giving Loki a fond smile before turning back to his laptop. His new entertainment center was opening in a week and he had been working hard, Loki barely saw him and that feeling of loneliness came back. He hadn't even seen Thor since that night and, next to En, he was the closest he had to a friend, and he probably ruined it.

Loki had been right about none of them knowing who had kill Thanos, but Loki had still shot at him and hit him so, in a way, he  _had_ killed Thanos alongside En, and that might have pushed Thor away. Loki was upset, but... at least he still had En.

"Why would I look at them?" Loki asked as he ended up reaching for a brochure unable to stop himself and ended up looking through it.

"So you can decide which culinary school you want to go to, I know how much you love baking, you could learn patisserie. Look through all the brochures until you find your favorite, doesn't matter where it is, you could go to Paris even, although you'll probably have to learn french first but we'll see what you choose first." En Dwi went on, completely unaware of how overwhelmed and confused Loki was.

"I'm sorry but, what?" Loki let out.

"What?" En Dwi asked looking up at Loki. 

"What, what do you mean by me deciding on a culinary school, you know I don't have money."

"Loki," En Dwi said in a slightly perplexed tone, "you don't have to worry about that, I plan on paying everything for you."

He and Loki stared at each other for a while before Loki says, "No."

En Dwi merely sighed, he knew Loki would be difficult about this but he had to get through to him. "Loki-"

"No, En, no." Loki says in a firmer tone and pushes the chair back and standing up.

"Loki, I know you don't like the idea but just listen to me." En Dwi says and stares at Loki sternly until the younger gives in with a slight pout and falls into the chair again, looking unhappy and slightly uncomfortable.

"I understand you might not like the idea of me paying for this-"

"For good reason." Loki interrupts.

"But I want to do this for you." En Dwi finishes as if Loki hadn't spoken. Loki merely pouts and narrows his eyes at him for a while before speaking.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to help me, why are you always wanting to help me? You took me from that place, paid Thanos a large sum of money every month for the two years we were together for him to stay away and leave me alone. You were constantly buying me gifts and things I didn't need, or did. You took me out, to places I never could have gone in my wildest dreams on my own. You went to get me from Thanos despite me cheating on you and us not being in a good place in our relationship. You were willing to kill him for me, and used your connections to keep us all out of legal trouble. You're letting me continue to leave here despite us being broken up and don't expect anything from me, not even sex or charging me some amount of rent. And now you want to pay for me to go to culinary school when I never even mentioned wanting to go. Why? Why do you do all this for me despite, despite me never being able to love you?"

En Dwi just gave him a smile that implied that he thought the answer was rather obvious. When Loki continued to look confused and a little unnerved En Dwi sighed and stood up, walking towards Loki and placing his hands on his shoulders.

"Isn't it obvious, Loki?" En Dwi asked as he stared into Loki's eyes who merely look back at him confused. "I care a lot for you, Loki, I truly do. And I know, no matter how much I want it, that you can't stay here, by my side, forever. We've already ended things because you weren't happy with me and you're still not. I want this for you, Loki. I want you to make something of yourself and live the life you've always wanted to. You're still so young and you have time to do it all, you can do it, Loki, just let me help you."

Loki was speechless for a moment and once again he wondered why he had never been able to love this man. But... he couldn't let him do this for him.

Loki shook his head. "En-" He had started to say but En had pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"I want this Loki. If it'll make you happy, once you open up your own bakery filled with delicious sweets you can pay me back all that money, though it's not really necessary. All I really ask in return is that we keep in touch, like I said, I care for you and I'm rather fond of you as well." He gave Loki a rather flirty wink and Loki couldn't help but laugh at it which seemed to cheer En up more.

"Now, take a look at those brochures. You loved taking those cooking classes and you were especially fond of baking so I have no doubt you're interested." En said waving his hands at the brochures. 

Loki looked over at them with a small smile before looking up at En Dwi. "Thank you." He said before reaching out and grabbing one of the brochures. 

****

Thor's life had been hectic after... after everything that happened.

Though Gast had offered to give him back his old bartending job Thor had refused. He needed the money for his classes, especially since he was only a few credits away, but he wanted to distance himself from everything. So he mostly worked helping Sif with her stand at the farmer's market, Volstagg in his restaurant when he needed the extra help, and Hogun had helped him get a job as a personal trainer. He was doing good. Except for one thing.

Loki.

He honestly had no idea what to do about that. Though he had gone to help the man when he had needed it he hadn't done much. Then when he saw Loki firing that gun, killing the man who had sold him over and over, he had been stunned. He hadn't known he was capable of that.

He hadn't known him at all.

But he still thought about Loki. Not just of his beauty, but of everything he had done wrong.

He had pushed and pushed, trying to get close to Loki no matter how many times he told him to back off. He had fucked Loki despite knowing he was drunk and that they were literally at his boyfriend's birthday party. He hadn't left him alone then either and tried and "make friends" despite Loki's wishes for him to leave him alone before things spiraled out of control.

He should have known better.

Part of him really would have liked to start over.... but he was still with En Dwi Gast and, even though Loki hadn't asked him this time, he will leave him alone. He had too.

****

"You want to go where?" Thor asked Fandral incredulously.

They were at the park and were drinking some water before they played some more football when Fandral had stated his desire to check out En Dwi Gast's new entertainment center which was to open tomorrow.

"What, it sounds awesome and I want to check it out." Fandral said far too innocently, as if they all didn't know his somewhat terrible history with the owner. And if he saw Loki there...

"No way." Thor refused.

"Come on!" Fandral protested.

"I did hear that the food and drinks were supposed to be exquisite." Volstagg muttered and Fandral nodded his head vigorously towards him.

"There's supposed to be a gaming center in there too which sounds pretty impressive." Hogun chimed in and now Fandral was nodding at him.

"We could use the break and it could be fun." Sif now muttered as she thought back to everything she had heard about it.

"Exactly! And think of all the dancing women that'll be there." Fandral replied enthusiastically.

"No way." Thor would not be moved.

"Come on, Thor," Sif kicked him lightly on his back, "it'll be good for you to have some fun. Besides, Loki will he near Gast, there's no chance in you two running into each other."

Thor wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not.

"Fine, I give in. We'll go." All his friends cheered.

****

Loki had to admit, this place was impressive. En Dwi's new entertainment center was finally open and the man was beyond ecstatic. Loki hadn't originally wanted to come but En Dwi had insisted so here he was.

His first instinct has been to cling to En's side, before he remembered that this was his big grand opening and they weren't a couple so he probably couldn't do that. So he had meandered through the crowd seeing everything that was to be seen and experiencing some of the stuff. He had to admit it had charm but... he didn't feel like having fun and had been sitting on one of the plush couches for the past half hour. 

He eventually got bored and headed towards one of the bars to get a drink. On the way he got distracted by a pair of guys having a dance off and walked right into someone.

"Shit sorry about tha- Thor?"

"Loki?"

"What are you-?"

"My friends insisted on checking this place out, I hadn't plan on coming. Don't worry, I won't cause trouble for you and your boyfriend anymore." Thor said as he took a drink, looking anywhere but at Loki.

"Oh," Loki was slightly taken aback by Thor's attitude. Then again the last time he saw the man he had been taken by the asshole who whored him out and then shot said asshole, practically becoming one of his murderers. Odds are Thor wanted nothing to do with him anymore and he found himself feeling a little disappointed.

"Well, I didn't think you were going to cause trouble. And he's not my boyfriend." Loki looked back towards the dance off.

"What?" Thor asked sounding confused and yet, did he hear a tiny bit of hope in his voice?

Loki shrugged and said, "En Dwi broke up with me. He thought it was for the best since I wasn't that happy pretending to be happy. And because I didn't love him as I should have, it wasn't fair for either of us."

"Oh, but then why are you here? Where are you staying?" Thor asked and he and Loki made their way to the bar so Loki could get himself a drink.

"I'm here," Loki said as he attracted one of tree bartenders attention, "because En Dwi wanted me here. It took a while but we became good friends and we might become even better friends once we get more used to being broken up. And I'm still living at his place, for now, but in one of the guest rooms."

"For now?" Thor ordered another drink while Loki drank his.

Loki nodded and seemed a bit awkward as he said, "En, he's, umm, paying for me to go to culinary school. I was against the idea as I didn't want him to pay for it but he insisted."

"That's great!" Thor shouted, genuinely excited for him. He remembered the desserts Loki used to share with him, they had all been wonderful.

"Yeah. I'll be leaving for New York in two weeks, which, as En said, gives me enough time to get everything I need before I have to go and for him to plan an elaborate party that I don't need before I leave."

"New York?" Thor said softly and Loki looked towards him, unsure of what to make on the look on Thor's face.

"Yes, New York." Loki confirmed and they were both quiet for a while until Thor started laughing softly. "What's so funny?" Loki asked a little annoyed.

"Nothing," Thor said as he ordered another drink, "I was just starting to get my hopes up."

"Oh." Loki said when he realized what Thor was talking about and took another drink. 

"I was just thinking that maybe, this time, I wouldn't mess things up so soon. With, uh, with you. That maybe we could have tried. If you had wanted to, I mean." Thor said after a while and became very nervous when Loki stayed quiet for a good five minutes. 

"Maybe we can." Loki eventually said and Thor looked to see Loki smiling at him, amusement written all over his face. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, big thanks to everyone who's read this, left kudos and commented on this, subscribed, and bookmarked. :) It means a lot to me since this was a bit of a mess but I really liked the idea.


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